1 Season 2 Episode 2

"The Grand Coulee Dam the largest concrete structure in the United states."

"What is that? who's talking?"

A buff middle aged man in a lab coat and goggles was in front of me. He was standing in some kind of office and pointing at a picture of a dam he brought up on a slideshow.

"Construction began in 1933 after . . ."

"Sigh, whatever do they really need to know this?"

A muffled voice sounded out and the man disappeared into blackness. Where did the second voice come from and why did that man look familiar?

"Ah" as I focused my mind trying to remember and a sharp pain shot through my head.

Then the blackness faded away and a bright light blinded me. On reflex I sat up and saw two strange men standing over me.

Too much was happening all at once for me to react, and before I could even think about panicking the two men spoke in unison.

"Happy fift-sixteenth birthday boys! Blow out your candle!

My mind was in complete shock at the absurdity of what was happening to do anything other than gape stupidly at them, while I tried to understand what was going on.

While I was stunned a skinny brown haired kid in a Spider-Man onesie reached over and blew out the lone candle on the cake the bigger of the two men was carrying.

"Yes" he pumped his fist "I win! The birthday wish is mine this year! Take that Hank" he said while pointing at me and with that something broke inside of me and a rush of memories came flooding in.

I saw myself as a child playing with my brother Dean and Helper our robot friend.

I saw myself flying around on a jet going on all kinds of crazy adventures.

I saw my body guard Brock tearing through people like they were made of cardboard.

And worst of all I saw myself dying over and over and over again. The memories were so intense I could almost feel it all happening to me. Being smashed by a robot, falling into a pit of spikes, suffocating in a gas leak, snapping my neck after jumping off the roof in a Batman costume, and finally being gunned down by some idiots in butterfly outfits while driving home on my hoverbike.

I realized who I was and what had happened. I was Henry Allen 'Hank' Venture and I had somehow been reborn into The Venture Brothers tv show.

Every single detail of the previous Hank(s) life was laid out before me from his greatest accomplishments to his deepest shames and goals. Strangely though when I tried remembering my life I came up empty.

It was like a Veil was placed between me and them. I could see them and knew they were there but, couldn't get the details. I could remember everything about my former world perfectly, things like who was the president and the latest movies and games. But, when it came to personal things regarding my life I was coming up blank. I couldn't even remember my former name!

"Hank . . . Hank, are you alright" Brock asked with a bit of worry in his eyes?

"Um, yeah" I nodded "I'm fine I just had a strange dream is all" I lied slapping my face knowing now wasn't the time to be having an existential crisis.

"That's no big deal" Doctor Venture waved his hand "I have those all the time it probably runs in your blood, Anywho Brock give the boys their presents already we have a big day ahead of us" he motioned dramatically.

"Right, Doc" Brock passed him the cake and fished something out of his pockets. "Here boys put these in your wallets, your official now.

He handed us the melted licenses and the memory of being shot by 21 and 24 came back to my head.

"Why are they all burnt up" Dean asked?

"Uh, laminating accident" Brock suspiciously scratched his neck "still good though."

Forcing my self to keep calm I placed the license to the side and got out of bed. I realized I was only wearing a bright orange Aquaman tshirt with matching underwear and socks.

"Yeah, these are going to need to go" I thought to myself.

"Alright, boys get dressed and come downstairs for breakfast we're heading out to the mall later" Doc clapped moving the conversation along to avoid anymore uncomfortable questions.

Doc and Brock left the room leaving me and Dean alone.

After that me and Dean were alone and honestly it was incredible awkward, at least for me .

I just sat there in bed while he was happily getting dressed while humming to himself.

I had absolutely no idea how I was supposed to treat him. On one hand I had a head full of memories involving him and could honestly say I knew him better than I knew myself at this point. On the other hand though he was a cartoon character! And a complete stranger to me. All of that filled me with a mess of emotions I couldn't understand.

"So 16 huh" Dean nonchalantly spoke while changing his pants "We're practically adults now and there's a whole new world out there for us."

"Right" I got out of bed "I'm going to take a quick shower before going down to breakfast so don't wait up."

"Kay" he answered pulling his vest over his head.

I locked the door behind me and started the shower. Taking my shirt off I stood infront of the mirror while waiting for the water to heat up.

Reflected was a face I didn't recognize in a body that wasn't mine. Though would I even be able to recognize it if it was my face?

"Gah" I pulled my hair in anger before taking a deep breath and calming down.

Freaking out isn't going to fix anything. Right now I need to accept that this is my life now and figure out what I'm going to do moving forward.

I looked back into the mirror and examined my new body again. My face was slightly above average at least in my opinion but, was a little round from leftover baby fat. I didn't have any problems with my short blond hair though I preferred his/my hair from season 4 better where I/him grew it out.

Onto my body I felt my muscles and honestly it could have been worse. I didn't have a single blemish on my skin and my muscles were decent considering I probably only popped out of the clone tube a couple hours ago. I wonder how Doc stops our muscles from atrophying maybe he . . .

"No your getting distracted" I shook my head and noticed how the mirror was beginning to fog up, the water was warm.

I took my socks off before bracing myself to remove my underwear.

I always thought this was the weirdest part of those reincarnation stories having someone else's genitals just seems so wrong. Luckily this body was cloned so technically it was no one else's before it was mine but, it was still super gross.

Eventually I took the plunge and honestly it's not the bad. I mean it wasn't 'huge' but, it's definitely above average. Really the only problem I had was a clone I still need to have a certain procedure done.

Ignoring my inevitable fate I jumped into the shower. I wasn't planning to wash I just wanted to think.

I was pretty sure I was in season 2 episode 2 because of the whole birthday thing. If I remembered right in that episode The Monarch breaks out of jail and 21 and 24 hire gang members to be his new henchmen. They shoot Brock take over the Cocoon. A tame episode but, honestly still pretty terrifying considering this was real life and they'd be using real guns.

Really thought all I need to do is not get shot and drive Dr.Girlfriend to the Cocoon.

Ok, thats what's happening in the immediate future but, what about long term. I think Monarch and Dr.Girlfriends relationship was the main focus this season but, I couldn't really think of what else happened. I know we go to the Monarch's wedding and that we get invaded by Guild black ops but, other than that nothing, oh wait. There is that loud robot alien that want to blow up the earth and that Portal thing we need to build.

Now I need-

"Hank! Get out here and eat you've been in there for half an hour" I heard Brock yell.

"Crap" I whispered under my breath I jumped out and got into my regular clothes minus the ascot. If I'm going to be hank I'm definitely not going to go around looking like Fred from Scooby Doo.

A minute later I was sitting in the kitchen eating my breakfast cake.

"What were you doing in there for so long? Ever since you saw 'IT' you've been in and out, not in there a second longer than you need to be."

"Yeah, I kind of got lost in my thoughts."

"Ah, yes the shower" Doc chimed in "The scientists great thinking space. You know I thought of some of my greatest ideas while listening to music in the shower."

"You listened to music in the shower" Dean asked?

"Of, course I used to bring my record player and just stay like that for hours."

"Used? Why'd you stop?"

"Because the water bill for running a shower for hours every day of the week us no joke. Not to mention I'd prune up like an old asian woman."

"Done" I said getting up and putting my dishes in the sink.

"That was quick" Brock spoke.

I shrugged "I wanted to get going we're buying presents at the mall, right?"

"Kids these day always wanting hand outs" Doc sighed before glaring at me "your license WAS your present."

"Those are Government issued how on earth does that make them a present from you?"

"Don't get uppity boy, I can still choose to leave you here you know."

"Uh, Doc that might not be the best idea" Brock cut in.

"Why not he's a big boy now I'm sure he'll be fine."

"Remember the macaroni incident?"

Doc went pale "Hank your coming with us no buts about it."

I would have rolled my eyes but, I was too busy remembering the macaroni incident. How did former me even get cheese in there?"

Brock looked at his watch "its getting late we should go now if we want a good parking spot, It's always crowded on Saturdays."

We loaded up into Brock's Dodge Charger 'Adrienne' I think he called it and left the compound.

The Venture compound was located smack in the middle of the Colorado Rockies and over half an hour from the nearest town and an hour from the mall. Which gave me plenty more time to think.

This was a crazy world filled with costumed maniacs running around with missile launchers and nerve gas! And that's putting aside the aliens, demonic investors, and terrifying murder bears.

If I wanted to survive I needed to be prepared and not just half ass everything. And honestly despite how incompetent most of the people in the show were, I had a pretty large pool of people who could help me.

Brock being the greatest murderer machine in the world could teach me to fight. Bill and Mr. White were experts in computer science and neurogenetics (whatever that is) respectively, I could even learn magic from Dr. Orpheus. And that's not even mentioning my uncle Jonas Venture Jr. who basically created a multi million dollar company from scratch in only three or four years.

I would only have to put a little effort into it and I could end being one of the best super scientists in the world . . .

Wait? Wasn't I freaking out not to long ago, how am I so calm now, was it because of Hank's memories? Did I actually inherit parts of personality specifically his ability to brush off whatever crazy shit was happening to him and move on.

Well if that is the case I guess I should be thankful it'll definitely make my life a hell of alot easier. Either way I should stop internal monologing we're getting closer to the mall and it seems like everyone might have noticed I'm being abnormally quiet.

Not long later we were walking into the mall surrounded by a crowd of people.

"So, what exactly are we here for" Dean asked?

"We are here to claim birthright, so come along Dean destiny awaits!"

"What about me" I asked?

Doc groaned "here's 200 dollar just follow Brock around and try not to break anything." Doc then pulled Dean along by his shoulder and waved us off.

"Well, I guess we know who his favorite it, huh."

"Awe, come on Hank you know it's not like that. Your dad just-"

I put my hand up to stop him from taking "I'm just joking Brock it doesn't actually bother me. Besides knowing him, he's probably going to bring Dean back in a bright red speed suit or something."

"Whatever" Brock shrugged "come on we're going to the hardware store. I need a new caulking gun after 'someone' broke mine."

"Yeah, sorry about that won't happen again" I apologized.

I followed him to the hardware store and not too far from it I saw some clothing stores for kids my age.

"Hey, Brock" I asked " I'm going to go over there to buy some new clothes, us that alright?"

"Fine, just try not to cause any problems" he answered before heading to do his own shopping.

Before coming to the mall I grabbed Hank's . . er my (I'm going to stop referring to us as different people it's getting annoying,) secret stash of money. I had been planning on saving up to buy a Batmobile but, I'm a new me know and I have better stuff to be spending my money on. All together with the money Doc gave me I had over $800 and I was planning on spending every cent.

I didn't need to buy any pants since I already had plenty of jeans but, I bought several pairs of long and short sleeve shirts, some nice jackets and hoodies, as well as new pajamas that weren't orange. I ended up spending around $300 on clothes leaving me with 500 to spend on whatever I wanted.

If I was going to be a successful super scientist I was going to take more than just knowledge. I was going to need lots of resources or more specifically lots of money. This world was still barely out of the 2003's and I had well over a decade head in regards to things like pop culture and things that become popular.

I had a couple Ideas I could use to make tons of money but, I would need a decent computer first.

One thing about this world that was different from my old one was the technology. Maybe it was because of all the super scientists running around but, technology in this world was a good couple years ahead of where it should be. With my 500 dollar I managed to get a decent computer console. I didn't get a monitor because I was already carrying a bunch of bags and adding the computer was my limit. Plus I was sure I could borrow one from Mr. White.

After I finished my shopping I called Brock on my wrist communicator "Hey, Brock I'm done shopping are you still at the hardware store?"

"No I'm by the food court Dean and your father are done with their shopping and are meeting us there."

"Alright, I'll see you there."

"It's almost time" time I thought to myself. The Monarch's new 'henchmen' are going to ambush us. They were real gang members who wouldn't have any problem shooting someone if they had to.

By all rights I should be terrified but, I was strangely excited. I hurried to the food court ready for a fight.

I met Brock and the rest of the family at the top of the escalators.

"Hank, there you are we've been waiting for you" Dean waved!

"What's with all the bags boy" Doc raised his eyebrow?

"I just decided I needed a change in wardrobe. Looking like Fred from Scooby Doo was getting a bit old."

"Well, whatever you bought there's no way it could ever match up to the glory of a speed suit."

"Speaking of which" I looked at Dean "You look like Santa's magic janitor."

"See, dad! I told you" Dean stamped his feet!"

"Nonsense, don't listen to you brother, you look glorious! Speaking of which, I saw a lovely pair of Italian leather shoes that would pull together Dean's entire look. It's by the entrance let's go get them and head home."

We got on the escalator to head down to the second floor and my heart started beating in my ears. It's going to happen any second now, what should I do?

We made it off the escalator and time seemed to stop for a moment before Brock screamed.

"It's an ambush!"

And pushed me and Dean back into the up escalator for the first floor.

I was expecting it and managed not to fall over but, Dean wasn't so lucky he fell all the way down and somehow got his crotch stuck in the cracks of the escalator.

I didn't have time to help him since I wanted to try and stop Brock from getting shot. Right now though he was giving the gang members the beating of a lifetime and didn't seem to need much help.

However out of the corner of my eye I saw a new henchman come out of nowhere and punch doc in the face laying him out. Before turning and running at Brock from his blindside.

This is it! I dropped my bags and charged at him. I didn't my best to tackle him to the ground and grab his hands to keep him from his gun.

However I made one mistake. In all my excitement I completely forgot that I had no idea how to fight. The guy kneed me in the stomach before pushing me down the escalators.

"Hank" I heard Brock yell as I tumbled to the bottom landing on Dean!

I forced my bruised body to my feet and helped Dean get unstuck. By the time we got up a loud 'BANG' rang out through the mall and I knew I failed.

I wanted to go back up and help Brock but, before I could something heavy slammed into me and Dean knocking us both out.

. . .

"Owie, what hit us" Dean whined "It's super heavy."

"Hey" Dr. Girlfriend smacked him

"Your not heavy your light as a feather, okay? So can you please get off of us now" I groaned nursing my new head ache.

"Ugh, fine" she rolled of us and we all got to our feet.

"What happened? Where are Brock and Dad?"

"They were probably kidnapped by the Monarch" I answered.

"Great" Dr. Girlfriend pinched her brow "and the fact that I'm still here means that Limb thinks I got kidnapped too." She sighed "Alright you two come with me."

"What! Why" Dean panicked "So you can kidnap us too!"

"No you idiot" she snapped at him "So you can save your stupid family and so I can stop my new and former boyfriends from ripping each other limb from phantom limb!"

Dean looked to me wondering if we should trust her.

"Dean take her to the car if she got left behind it means she doesn't have a ride. I'm going to get my stuff first and then I'll meet you there."

"O-okay" he stuttered looking at Dr. Girlfriend nervously.

I quickly ran up the escalator and saw that every one was gone and a pool of blood that was slowly drying on the floor. My stomach turned queasy at the sight.

Even though I knew Brock was okay I still felt that I failed him. Clenching my fists I vowed that I would get stronger so this type of thing never had to happen again.

Forcing myself to move on I grabbed all my bags and ran back to the car.

When I got there Dean was already in the back seat with Dr. Girlfriend sitting shotgun. I threw my bags in and got in the drivers seat.

"I'm guessing you want me to drive" I raised my eyebrow?

"I don't drive" she crossed her arms.

"Doesn't matter" I said while putting the car in gear and revving the engine.

"Wow, you can drive a stick" she asked honestly surprised?

"Just got my license this morning" I winked. "So where am I headed anyway?"

"To the Monarch's Cocoon it's not that far from your compound, just listen to my directions."

What followed was a completely reckless and suicidal drive that had us breaking 100 Mph more often than not. The police even started tailing us at one point but, we managed to shake them once we got on some dirt roads.

It was a blast! I didn't even have to worry even if we got caught. I could just say that Dr. Girlfriend was forcing me to do it, she was a super villain after all.

Unfortunately all good things must end and sooner rather than later we pulled up to the Cocoon. And unlike in the show I did not feel like crashing into the thing at full speed. So I stopped and Dr. Girlfriend rushed inside to stop the fight she thought was happening.

But, there was no fight and it ended up just like in the show. With Brock and Phantom limb having taken out all of the gang members and the Monarch and Doc showed up with 21/24 wielding toys just after we arrived.

Seeing that everyone was okay Brock quickly ushered us out seeing the tension between the three super villains. And good thing too because just as we were leaving Dr. Girlfriend completely blew up at The Monarch.

It sounded brutal even from where I was standing. I was really glad I didn't get reborn as him, even though Dr. Girlfriend was super hot especially in real life. She was honestly kind of intimidating.

When we got out side Brock instantly rushed over to his car.

"I knew someone was touching my car! The crazy woman didn't mess you up did she" he talked to himself while examining the car?

"Dr. Girlfriend didn't drive us here Brock, Hank did" Dean said."

"Hank!" Brock stood up and glared at me "how did you learn to drive a stick" he asked suspiciously?

"I watch you when your driving" I lied through my teeth. I could just drive it naturally almost like it was muscle memory, so it was probably something I learned how to do in my past life.

"Hmm" Brock rubbed his chin "well, thanks for not scratching it."

"No problem" I gave him a thumbs up before thinking of something. "Hey, can I drive us back?"

"No" was Brock's immediate response.

"Awe, come on! You got shot and dad had one of his eyes popped out" neither of you should be driving!

"I said no Hank."

"Come on please!"

"Hank he wouldn't even let me drive him to a hospital after he was mauled by a Yeti so there's no way a little bullets going to stop him " Doc snapped! "So get in the car so we can go home and I can wash some painkillers down with a mimosa!"

I complied and quietly got in the car letting Brock drive us home.

On the way back it was completely silent aside from the radio. Looking out the window at all the pine trees going by, I took a deep breath and thought about the crazy first day I just survived.