1 Gift from Dad

15 Th December, Small Residential Bungalow in Ahmedabad

The clock stroked five in the morning. Anvesh rolled to the other side of the bed as the guilt throbbing inside his heart was not letting him sleep. Every tik of the clock was making him think again of 'What he has done and what it will lead to, and whatever will happen, he has to live with weight of it for the rest of his life' but he tried to console himself thinking 'What else he could have done?' . He silently rolls out of the bed, so that not to wake his wife and daughter and goes out in the dining area picks his diary from the table and sits on the rocking chair kept in the corner, facing the lights coming from glass below roof. He opens the diary at the point where the pen was kept, over the right end at the top was written the date "14 th December" and it continued with a lot of scribbling till the left bottom of the next page where a statement was written in a much bigger font "The choice I made was not right.." .He keeps the pen back, closes his diary and keep it on his lap and held his neck back on the chair and closes his eyes.

Anvesh Diary:

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14th December, Surat Station, 5 PM

As an everyday routine I was standing at the station, coming back from office, waiting for my train to arrive. Orange streaks of lights falling on the tracks and as usual huff and puff of the station felt so peaceful, even more then the silence of office with glazy monitors. Looking at those lights I didn't had any thought of my job and family, maybe for that moment I was just thinking about those rail tracks leading millions to different places, but never move, just stay there to watch everyone go. My pinnacles of thoughts were broken when I felt that my phone was vibrating. The number was flashing with no name.

I took the call.

"Hello"

"Hii…Is this Anvesh?"

I knew that voice but was unable to place it in my head.

"Yeah …Sorry, but who is this?"

"Deepak"

In college my only two friends were Deepak and Abhinav but in the last year of college I had a big fight with both of them and then I never had any contacts with them until last year when Abhinav died in an accident. I stood there in silence, it has been a long time since college but I still felt the resent in talking to him.

"Hey listen man I know what I did can't be forgiven but it has been like four years now. I understand that I should have listened to you and I feel sorry for what I did every second of my life. And with Abhinav's death and then me losing my job, I have been going through the worst of my life and you know what, maybe I deserved it. But something really good is going to happen in my life after a very long time. Your friend is getting married man. This is gonna be a big day for me and I would love to see you standing on my side ... (silence)...And if you don't come I am going to empty all the rum bottles myself"

'May be it is all for good. Whatever he did, he was always good friend to me and he has already suffered a lot' I thought.

"At least you won't puke on my shoes." I replied

We both laughed a little until I noticed that the train was arriving on the station.

"Hey listen I am boarding a train right now, I will call you when I reach home" I said and disconnected the call.

As I entered inside the train I took a side seat against the windows. When the train started to move, I noticed the guy sitting in front of me with nicely packed cake and flowers on his lap. He seemed to be in his 40s, with broad shoulders, hunched back, wearing a cotton shirt bigger for even his broad shoulders and comfy white pajamas, a neck strap connected to the phone kept in his shirt pocket and his specs which are old enough to share the experience of life time and he was continuously smiling looking at the rails making their way through the criss crosses. I started thinking about Deepak and Abhinav and how the last four years changed our lives in so different ways.

Within five minutes a lot of vendors started moving from both the sides selling eatables ,drinks, electronics, pan masala and all kind off stuffs but the guy sitting in front of me didn't reacted to any of them until he heard the loud shrill voice of the guy selling tea as if he directly made a call to his soul. He asked the guy for tea, he looked toward me and gave a very welcoming smile, I never knew how to respond to that smile as it could mean 'Be my friend, I have a great knowledge of all the political parties to discuss on" or "Hey make me your friend so that I can loot you before the next station" and I didn't wanted to be a part of any of them. Before I could react to that smile he asked me "Tea…?"

"No thanks" I replied.

"Take it. You know this tea has magical powers, It has the power to make your worst day into a good one" He said.

"How is that?" I asked

"Because nothing bad can happen in a day then tea in the train "He replied.

We both laughed and then even I asked for tea. I went toward my back pocket for taking out my wallet but he insisted on paying. I tried giving him the money but he refused.

He moved his hands toward Anvesh and said" My name is Shalom, what is your good name?"

"Anvesh" I said and shook the hands.

"So where are you heading Anvesh?"

"Ahmedabad, and you?"

"Same"

"What you do?" He asked.

"Electrical Engineer" I said.

"Married? "

"Yeah and have a daughter almost one year" I said and showed him the cover photo on my phone of me carrying my daughter.

He took the phone in his hands and kind of looked stucked on the photo with a dead face, as if he didn't expected that I would be married and must be having a daughter. I broke the pause by taking the phone from his hands and asked "Isn't she beautiful?"

"Daughters are always beautiful" he replied with a serious tone and smiled.

"So what you do?" I asked.

"Same as you I was also an Engineer but I have nothing to do with wires but more with Chemicals (smirks), have been for almost ten years in UAE and then I retired around four years back and returned to India" He replied.

"Those ten years would have been tough?"

"Ohh…It was hell spending time inside the plant with such high temperatures and toxic chemicals. One mistake and you stake your life onto it. You know there are certain chemicals that can kill you and still won't leave any trace in your body. So overall it was not a good time spent but at the end of the day they compensate you well for your hard work so I think that only kept me going for 10 years"

"So all this cake and flowers…Marriage Anniversary..?" I asked.

"No…Actually my wife died a long back… "

"Oh I am so sorry"

"No its fine… This is actually my daughter's birthday cake and flowers are for people who are gonna help me getting her a good gift. It is very tough to get her a gift; you know it is going to take me till tomorrow morning to get her a nice gift. She is doing her graduation from Ahmedabad in Civil Engineering."

"But Anvesh tell me one thing, with all this travelling and job do you get time to spend with your family?"

"Right now it is tough but I think it is fine, I mean it's just a matter of few years till then I can make some good saving, and then be secured with my family future… "

While I was talking I realized Shalom was looking at me and smiling, I couldn't resist so I asked "Why are you smiling? "

"You know when my daughter was only ten we lost her mom. Only person left to her was me. And for two years we supported each other pretty well, we kept each other from falling at that weak moment and as I told you after that I got this offer from UAE for better position and money. At that time I was young like you, used to think like you. So even I thought that I will be able to add up some money for my daughter, her education, marriage, future blah blah… Some time we invest so much for our future and don't realize it takes away all what was there in the present. She used to send me these cute letters…with all the colours and drawings …ohh that used to be the best thing for me there. She will never ask me to come back but she will always ask how much more I am gonna be there and I will reply a "little more". I didn't even realized when that little more became 10 years. These changes in our life that we seek as a climbing ladder for our shining future, we should know that these changes come on a heavy cost, and you should be sure if you are ready to pay that price"

For minutes there was just silence, I started questioning my life decision after listening to him. But then I noticed the cake and flowers again and I asked "You could have got the cake in Ahmedabad only …Why to carry it from here?

"It was more of a tradition kind of thing, see the thing was till my wife was there, on every birthday of my daughter I will get the cake from this particular shop only and my wife will get these flowers for her. We will go to the same places every year, and every time it will be a beautiful memory" He said.

"It must feel good, now you get to spend time with your daughter" I asked.

"Actually I didn't get to meet her after I came back, as she is very angry on me for making her wait for 10 years. I remember when I came for the first time four years back I sat there with this cake outside her college and waited there for a very long time until I got a call and then I left, from then on I am doing the same thing every year and every time I have to leave the cake and the gift there"

Maybe now I understood his pause when he looked at my daughter's photo but I felt really bad for him. I mean this guy sat there waiting for his daughter, and how he must have felt when she didn't had the courtesy to show up. Didn't he struggle for 10 years for giving her a good future? Why can't the kids give their parents the respect they deserve?

Sound of claps coming from distant became louder, which meant enunchs were coming towards us, I got attentive, while my usual practice was to close my eyes and pretend that I am having the best sleep of my life but I was so much into the conversation with Shalom that I noticed the clapping very late and till I think to get into my act of sleep, they arrived next to Shalom. He took out his wallet, as he was taking out a 10Rs note from his wallet one of the enunch clapped so close to his face that the wallet felled down from his hand on the floor and a photo came out and rested just before my feet.

I lifted the photo to give it to shalom but I paused mid-way noticing the person in the photo. My heartbeats started pounding so fast, I could feel my feet's getting cold and as if everything around me just went mute. Shalom took the photo from me and said "My daughter".

The person in the photo was Erin. Erin was my junior and was in the same drama group. She was fairly tall with innocent looks, full of dreams and was very strong academically. Her work in the drama as an actor was admirable. But due to her innocent nature she usually used to get targeted for bullying by seniors which included Deepak and Abhinav. I always used to try to protect her but it didn't stop for her. She even came to me once and said that she is fed up of the pranks by Deepak and Abhinav and may leave the college. I asked her to not take any drastic step and even tried convincing Deepak and Abhinav to stop the pranks and Deepak agreed for both of them.

I thought everything is back to normal until our semester exams started. Professor caught Erin with chits placed under her chair and expelled her from all the exams of the semester. She cried and begged the professor telling her that the chits doesn't belong to her and she had no idea how it came there, but the professor didn't listened a word and asked her to get out of the exam hall. She was unable to take the humiliation and couldn't see her dreams shattering and jumped from the fourth floor of the building.

I was giving my exam when I heard a loud sound of something falling from great height, everyone in the class started looking toward the window but the professor asked everyone to continue with their exams. But after one hour I was called outside the hall. They took me to the hospital where they told me everything happened and then they got her to the hospital but she died!!

I couldn't stop crying and had no courage to watch her in that condition, and just stayed outside the operation theater. Being the head of the drama group and as I have known her from long time, I was given the responsibility to call her parents and inform about this. This was the hardest moment for me but I gathered my strength and called her father. The call that shalom received and left four years back..!!

I knew that Erin would never cheat and this must be done by Deepak and Abhinav. I couldn't control my anger and ran toward the hostel. Deepak and Abhinav were standing in the corner of the hostel looking tensed, I started going straight to Deepak, Abhinav tried stopping me but I pushed him back and went on to Deepak and slapped him with all my force. They also started hitting me back and fight started getting very serious until the other boys there dragged me to the other corner and held Deepak and Abhinav on the other side. I was constantly crying and shouting "murderer"..." Is this the price she had to pay?" Abhinav and Deepak reacted as they have no idea what is going on and were constantly abusing and shouting on me "Have you gone crazy ".."Done drugs or what?" …" Just get lost from here"

I left the place and that was the last time that I talked to them until last year when Abhinav died and then today.

That means that every year Shalom goes to the college in a hope that she will turn up, knowing that she is no more. Just a mere thought of it made my heart so heavy with pain, I wanted to cry and say sorry for what he and his daughter went through but I didn't had the courage for that either.

I constantly looked down onto my shoes and I can feel my right leg was shaking a lot. I kept my hand on my leg to stop it. I kept on seeing the shoes with my watery eyes until I felt a nod on my left leg. I looked at Shalom.

"I will just come from the washroom, Can you look out for the stuffs? "

"Ok. Sure" I replied and took out my phone to distract myself from my thoughts and then I see a notification pops up on my phone.

Deepak has tagged you in a post.

I opened the post; the post was about Abhinav death anniversary with a photo of the news article on his death. I so much felt the hatred for them that I closed it and kept it back into the pocket and started looking at the cake kept in the front, suddenly something clicked in my mind. I took the phone out again and opened the post and zooms the paper article attached and the date read 15th December. I started reading the article .... Death of a man on the road seemed suspicious … Doctors at emergency told they don't understand how a fit guy like him got a heart attack in the middle of the road …they also found flowers next to him lying on the road… I started getting flashes of my talk with Shalom ….. Flowers are for people who are gonna help me getting her a good gift ... changes come on a heavy cost, and you should be sure if you are ready to pay that price ….. Certain chemicals that can kill you and still won't leave any trace in your body….. And what is the gift that takes till next morning to get?

I didn't wanted to believe what I was speculating because if that is true Deepak's life is in great danger and if I tell Deepak about it, Shalom would have to go through a lot even if I turn out to be wrong , and what he has to go through wasn't that enough? Throbbing of my legs became more faster, my forehead starting to sweat a lot and I kept looking at every person and every corner of the train but then I took a deep breath and made the call to Deepak. I see that Shalom is coming back to his place, he smiled toward me and sat down again. With every ring in the phone I felt the tension rising and it felt if I am gonna choke on my own breath. While the phone was ringing I constantly looked at Shalom's face.

Deepak picks up the phone. (Shalom looking at my stressed face, gestures with a show of thumb if I am alright)

"So decided? "says Deepak on the phone.

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.

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What I did at that moment will be my truth for the rest of my life. The choice I made was not right...

15 Th December, Small Residential Bungalow in Ahmedabad

(Anvesh cradling on the chair)

Suddenly Anvesh fells a warm sensation on his hands; her daughter comes close to his chair and rests his chin on his hands. Anvesh lifts her up and put her on her lap and then he again opens the book and starts writing again,

""The choice I made was not right... Yeah I know I was not right, it was just a different level of wrong..."

Anvesh closes the diary … and murmurs "What was the gift?"

He hears a noise of cycle pedaling coming from the streets getting closer and then he hears a loud 'THAP' noise on his front door. This was the morning newspaper. Anvesh smiles and takes his daughter back to the bed room.

15 Th December, Security Office at some Engineering college in Ahmedabad

Security guard makes a call to the Hostel Warden for Girl Hostel.

"Madam there is a parcel for Room No. E5-104 with name Erin"

"What parcel?"

"Madam there is birthday cake and a NEWSPAPER, and something is written at the top of the newspaper… "Gift from Dad" ….".