8 Chapter 8
Finally, she came back home after a long time.
Safely back home, she lay down on the floor.
Suddenly ,she recalled the movie <Where is my friend's house?> , which she watched to finish her assignment related to her liberal arts subject in college.
'Where is my house?'
A twin-room villa with twelve-pyong space.
She chose that villa because she could commute to her company by bus.
People asked if her house was expensive because it's in the middle of Seoul, the capital city.
Yes, it's expensive. But it's not as expensive as they think, for it's an old villa located on a hill that needed one to walk along the hillside, which took as much time as her riding a bus to go to work.
Still, she felt thankful for the fact that she had a house in this world, where she could go and lie herself down. She had a fleeting moment of thinking like that. Even before she said grace, she fell asleep.
***
She was doing the legwork today. As she was supposed to deliver a special lecture at her alma mater, she stopped by a beauty salon.
She was overwhelmed by emotion when she thought about how she was a college student only a few years ago, but now she would give her juniors a lecture as a graduate.
When was the last time that she had visited her alma mater since graduation?
She felt as if she became a college student again. Rather, she already went back to her identity as college student Arum Yang.
The topic of her lecture today was 'It's love because your heart aches.' The professor during her college days remembered her as the icon of campus lovers and contacted her as the speaker on that topic in his class. Besides, she was the feature editor of the popular magazine <Single Woman> , which was leading the latest trends.
She received a call from the professor two months ago.
"You are getting along with Konsu well, right? I heard you're getting married."
He conveyed his genuine congratulations to her.
"Oh, yes."
She didn't feel it necessary to tell him that she broke up with him. She didn't want to confess her every little thing about her misfortunes.
"I thought you could give a wonderful lecture. Can I ask you to come and give your juniors a lecture, something like 'a senior's lecture,' though I know you're busy?"
"Me?"
"Well, I have a perfect topic you can touch on."
"Are you sure I can handle it?"
"Of course, this is a topic chosen by the student association. I think only you can handle it."
"If I can, let me do it, professor."
"The topic is on love, namely 'It's love because your heart aches'."
The moment she heard it, she felt her chest tighten.
"Why? Do you think it's hard?"
"No, sir. I just had to think about it for a moment."
"I don't think there is anything that a love doctor like you can worry about. Let me give my assistant your number then. He will call you again. I look forward to your lecture then."
"Yes, professor."
Campus couple. That was the sorrow of public dating on campus. But Arum decided that she would focus on the positive side, thinking only that the professor remembered and kindly invited her.
When she went to the lecture hall, there was a placard with the phrase <Special lecture hosted by the business management department: 'Please help us out, senior!'>. It was a four-part series, with one lecture per week. She could find familiar names on the list of lecturers.
She started her lecture nervously.
She decided to coach them comfortably as if she were their elder sister. She gave them advice after receiving anonymous letters from them in advance.
As she failed in love, she could give them good advice. If she was happily dating her boyfriend, she could not have given an eloquent lecture.
"Check it out quickly! I think he is dating two women. He can't treat her as a genuine lover like that."
"When I look at your case, I think you guys talk differently while you're in love. Oh my… I wonder if I need to test you on this."
She was now comfortable enough to crack jokes.
Those young men and women who got on the train of love came to hurt and ruin each other without finding the brakes when the relationship was derailed even slightly, then they lose their way. And they believe it was genuine love.
In fact, that's her case. But when time went by and she turned 30, she realized something belatedly. Namely, even if one loved another, it was not love when it hurt.
Was it because of her frank and genuine advice that they were deeply touched? Their response was favorable.
She decided that she would take only three additional questions, plus the questions she already received.
At that moment, she noticed a female student raising her hand. That student's face was white as a sheet. She made an expression on her face, as if she was about to cry.
"I've got a question!" that female student asked in a faint voice. As her voice was barely audible, the whole lecture hall was silent.
"How come the man I'm dating is a scum without exception? They are all scum! Scum."
Though her lecture went smoothly in a joyful mood up to that point, Arum felt as if she was punched in the face when she heard the question.
Scum.
The word 'scum' that her junior expressed while sobbing. That word kept echoing in her mind.
Embarrassed by that question, Arum's face turned red. Her face was burning as if someone peeked into her innermost feelings.
"Oh, as for that question…"
It looked like she would ramble without answering clearly.
In order to cheer her up, Arum should tell her, 'It's not your fault. That guy you're dating is just scum.'
Or, 'He might look like scum, but at the same time he might be a jewel that you have yet to discover. Cheer up!' But when she recalled her past memories of her bitter love affair with Konsu, which made her life miserable, she had only one answer.
With a deep breath, she gave that female student a clear answer.
"You asked me why the man you're dating was scum without exception, right? It's because I'm scum."
Everybody in the lecture hall began to make a noise.
That female student who asked the question burst into tears. Though Arum thought her answer was too cruel, she bit her lips gently and advised with a fierce look.
Just like what the feng shui master told the participants including her on that day.
"You throw garbage in a trash can, and jewel in a jewelry box, right? If you want to meet a man that is like a jewel, you should be a jewel-like woman first. Got it? I'm sorry. This is all I can say to you, but what's really important is…"
While answering the student's question, Arum also realized something.
Something really important.
She continued, "In that case, you should forget everything in the trash can. You should act like a jewel-like woman. If you don't, even that jewelry box will be dumped in a trash can. Don't lose yourself just because you love somebody absolutely. We are all precious women."
That female student seemed to understand what Arum was trying to convey.
Everybody had his or her own days of trash can, whether it was for love, learning, friendship or family. But the trash can cleaned well could be a flowerpot or an umbrella stand. It's up to the owner on how they would use it.
Only now could Arum understand that feng shui master's words, which stabbed a dagger in her heart back then.
Clap, clap, clap.
The sounds of the students' applause resonated throughout the lecture hall.
"Thanks for listening. I'm Arum Yang."
She came down the podium amid their thundering applause.
Whew!
After the special lecture, she took a stroll on campus with light steps. She could hardly enjoy the scene before the lecture as she was too nervous.
'This is the first time I came over here since graduation.'
It was the same school that she was always at with Konsu. If she denied even that fact, her fond memories of her college days would disappear. Today of all days she wanted to indulge in the moods of her college life.
The way to the library that they both used to walk together.
The school cafeteria where they both had to be content with a cup ramen and gimbap.
The vending machine before which they used to chat over a cup of instant coffee.
The parking lot where Konsu arranged a surprise candle event for her to soothe her when she was sulking.
When Arum recalled that day, she burst into laughter.
He was close to burning down a building while preparing the candle event for her. He ran around to find a fire extinguisher in the building. Without the security officer, the building would have been burnt down, featuring as some breaking news on evening TV news channels.
Suddenly, she got goosebumps while thinking about various things that happened during her college days.
'What the heck? Why do I still remember all those things?'
***
Translator's note:
12-pyong is equivalent to 493 sq.
gimbap is a popular Korean snack made with rice rolls wrapped in dried sea weed laver.
