Oemar_danoes
4.0/5 Definitely an interesting and weird (but in a good way!) story. It's fast-paced and the story develops quickly. Lots of action and mini-conflicts. There's some grammatical errors, however. For example, sometimes the story switches from past tense to present, then back again and so on. For a story told in third person like this one, I suggest keeping it in past tense, as that's what works best normally. I also would've loved to see Harrison try to adjust into his new gender, which I feel like should've happened. But other than that, keep it up, author! [img=recommend]
gender bender concept is something I don't read but this story turned it around. If I must say this is my first time reading it and my goodness I do not regret it. Can't wait to see the characters develop like crazy. Though the writing has some grammatical errors, you can always ignore them to read a nice story. <3
For the plot is give this an A, as the Gender Bender wasn't uncommon but it is pretty scarce/rare. The whole thought, I get it, and I also like it. But the author should work on the grammar, punctuations proper adjectives, commas etcetera. Sure it is a tempting thing to use metaphors and speech tags, but use the appropriate ones. If that is fixed then your novel would improve by leap and bounds.🙂😶
The author's way of writing is impressive, you explained things quite well in chapter one. However, I don't feel many emotions coming from Harrishine, I am sure this will improve gradually. I hope the author will make this a bit slow-paced explaining her feeling and the surrounding in much more detail. I love the characters themselves and their way of thinking. Can't wait for more chapters, best of luck.
The road of writing is paved with a lot of signs that says under construction, there will always be a room for improvement. Your idea is brilliant! Continue writing them! Along the way you will learn different writing techniques and styles until you'll pick the best suited trademark for your work. I added your story in my library to see the progress.
I love the characters [although I can't say I agree with their characters], and I do love the world background. But if I have to be harsh, the way the king speaks and the way Harrison speaks is a bit too... casual and unbefitting a subject. It just doesn't fit the mood; I would suggest the author to make the king's words more formal and Harrison's words and expressions more respectful. The author also has to watch out for improper word usage and grammatical errors i.e. tense errors. Otherwise, the plotline seems very sound thus far. Keep going, author!