37 Epilogue

Author's note:

                 Please play Kalawakan by Music Hero while reading the last chapter. Enjoy reading everyone.

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I still clearly remembered how Cassiopeia and I started.

I leaned against the wall because I felt so weak because of the liqour that Misty gave to me.

I didn't feel that I already fell on the ground, but there's a girl near me, who immediately helped me to stand up, but unfortunately I puked on her.

She brought me on the couch nearby.

"Bwiset ang baho! Nakakairita 'yung amoy ng suka mo, Iinom-inom ng alak 'di naman pala kaya! Asa'n ba mga kasama mo?" She asked with annoyance in her voice.

"S-sorry sa abala miss nasukahan pa kita, I can handle it don't worry." I apologized to her.

"I can handle it don't worry." He mocked, "tsk kaya daw eh natumba na nga sa sobrang kalasingan." She sarcastically said then she rolled her eyes.

Since that night she never get out of my mind, I always think of her every single day and night. I'm hoping and praying that we'll met again.

Until one morning while I was walking heading to my building,

All of a sudden, there's a woman bumped unto me, her things fell down.

My coffee was thrown out of her uniform and her plates had already coffee stains.

"Pag minamalas ka nga naman!" She was so annoyed.

"Sorry miss." I picked up the plates that had been dropped.

"Ikaw nanaman?" She asked, then her lips parted in shocked.

"Huh?" I asked her, with oblivion on my face.

"Nuisance!" She yelled at me.

"Why miss? Is there any problem?" My brows furrowed.

"Ikaw! Ikaw 'yung problema ko! Anlaki mong perwisyo sa buhay ko. Una sinukahan mo 'ko sa bar, pangalawa tinapunan mo 'ko ng kape pati mga pinagpuyatan kong plates nadamay!" She irritatedly said.

That's it! She's the girl I was with at the bar. I was already late but it doesn't matter anymore, because I saw her again the woman who never get out of my mind.

I went to school early because I need to wait for her at the gate just to get my ID back. I can't go inside the school without my ID because the guards are very strict.

When I saw her, I walk towards her direction.

"Good morning miss, Can I get my ID back now?" I asked softly.

"Naiwan ko sa bahay, Sorry." She seriously said.

"Can you come with me?" I asked her, hoping that she will say yes.

"Paano kung ayoko? Mamaya rape-in mo pa 'ko." She rolled her eyes.

"Miss please I'm begging you, please come with me. I'm willing to pay just to have my ID back. We have a very important presentation in Marketing." I begged her.

I kneel down in front of her.

"Here." She gave my ID.

"But you said a while ago you left it at your home." I said with so much confusion.

"So ayaw mo kunin? Sige uuwi ko ulit 'to para 'di ka makapasok." She threatened me.

I came closer just to give her a hug, she saved and helped me to pass this semester. Because if she didn't return my ID back, I will not able to attend class and I wouldn't present my important marketing presentation and there is a possibility that I wouldn't graduate this year, because this is my last chance.

"Hoy hindi porket sinabi ko kanina na tayo na, may karapatan ka ng yakapin ako. Binibiro lang kita kanina hindi totoo 'yon, layuan mo nga 'ko." She said with annoyance and pushed me away.

"No miss, You save me." I was so shocked that's why I hugged her.

"Huh?" She asked.

"I gotta go, I'll make it up to you. See you when I see you."

"Hi!" I greeted her, when I saw her again.

"Hello." She faked a smile.

"Are you okay? You look sad. What happened?" I asked her worriedly.

"Iniwan kasi kami ng mama namin." She looks so sad.

"What? Really?" My brows furrowed.

"What happened? I curiously asked.

"Pwede bang lumabas muna tayo? Maingay kasi dito eh, 'di tayo mag kakarinigan."

We went outside the bar then we sat on the bench.

"What happened?" I asked again then I look at her.

She looks so beautiful but she was so sad and I wanted her to feel better.

"Sa totoo lang hindi ko din alam." She looked at the sky and bit her lower lip.

I look at the sky too.

"Hindi ko alam kung bakit niya kami iniwan, hindi ko alam kung bakit niya nagawa sa 'min 'yon. Alam mo andaming tanong sa isipan ko. Ayaw niya ba sa 'min? Hindi niya ba kami mahal? Bakit niya kami iniwan? Bakit niya nagawa sa 'min 'to? Anong dahilan? Bakit umalis siyang wala man lang sinabi at paalam? Bakit umalis siya at iniwan kami ng tuluyan?" Her eyes was a little bit teary.

"It's a different type of hurt, when your mom is the one who hurts your feelings. I know it hurts a lot, and I wish I can answer all those questions inside your head." I sincerely said while still looking at the sky.

I want to hug her but I respect all the woman, I can't just hug her without permission.

"Thank you but I know everything happens for a reason, but I wished I know the reasons." She replied.

We looked at each other, and we both smiled.

"Get in." I said, gesturing her to get inside of my car.

I brought her at seafood restaurant which has a good ambiance, and it also have a nice view of city lights.

I ordered a lot of food, because I want her to get satisfied.

"Andami mo namang inorder, gutom na gutom ka ba?" She rolled her eyes.

"No, I just want to make sure that you're tummy will be full." I smiled at her.

"Hindi ko naman kayang ubusin 'yan, sayang lang kung may matitira." Malungkot niyang sabi.

"We'll take it out, let's eat."

"No, let's pray first." She said.

That's why I lead the prayer before we eat.

I look at her and she's enjoying the food. She eat all the scallops maybe that's her favorite.

I was so shy when she suddenly stares at me like examining my whole face. It was a little bit awkward for me because I like her.

"Stop staring at me."

"May dumi ka kasi sa gilid ng labi mo, Assuming! punasan mo! Huwag kang umasang pupunasan ko." She sounded so rude.

"I don't even ask you to do it." I fired back.

After we eat she stare at the city lights peacefully then I walk towards her.

"Don't worry soon you'll get better, just trust God he has a great plan for you." I said, to cheer her up.

"I hope so! Yeah, I know God will never forsake me." She gave me a sweet smile.

It was already 8:30 when we go back to XG bar.

"Rigel, thank you ha? kahit papaano nakalimutan ko mga problema ko at ang mga tanong sa isipan ko." She playfully tapped my shoulders.

It made me blushed but I hope she didn't notice.

"You're welcome miss?" I asked because I didn't know her name.

"Kelphie Cassiopeia, Kc for short."

"You're welcome Cassiopeia."

"Kc nalang di ako sanay tawagin ng ganyan."

"Get used to it, from now on I will call you Cassiopeia." I wink at her.

"Una na ko."

"Wait, this is yours Cassiopeia." I handed the food that we take-out.

They were performing when I saw her walked away and left her band mates.

"Why did you leave them?" I asked.

"Di ko na kinaya, sobrang sakit, sobrang hirap, hindi ko alam kung ano bang dapat kong maramdaman." I can hear her sobs.

I gave my handkerchief to her. Deep inside I badly want to wipe her tears away but I don't have the guts to do it.

"Here, wipe your tears. I don't like to see girls crying in front of me."

She get the handkerchief and wiped her tears that fell down on her cheeks. I tapped her shoulders and her back to console her.

"Did you know that this is my first time to watch a girl who can play drums?" I said, trying to lighten up the atmosphere between us.

"I didn't know." She answered.

She seems so rude but I kept on talking.

"While you were performing I was so shocked, I didn't expect that a girl like you can play drums I was so impressed."

"Na in love ka?" She asked

"N-no!"

I wanted to say yes but I don't want to rush things. I need to take things slowly. I never expected to fall in love with her. Because after I broke up with my cheater ex girlfriend, I was being traumatized to enter a relationship again.

"Eh ba't nag stutter ka bigla?"

"Nothing."

I was running so fast because Nicolo said that we have dance practice but I suddenly bumped a girl.

"Sorry." I look at her, "Oh it's you again, Cassiopeia. Are you okay? You look so tired."

I ditched the practice for her because it seems that she needs someone right now, she looks problematic.

"Okay lang ako." She fake a smile again.

I can immediately noticed when a person is just faking their smiles. Just look at their eyes, because eyes don't lie.

"I know you're not, you're just faking your smiles." I said.

"Una na ko, kailangan kong umuwi."

"I'll bring you home."

I held her hand and guide her to my car, I opened the shotgun door for her. But she did'nt get inside, she's just staring at it.

"What are you waiting for? Get in."

When we arrived at their house, she invited me.

"Gusto mong pumasok?"

I just nodded and went inside.

"Pasensiya ka na makalat nagmamadali kasi kami kaninang dalhin si lola sa Ospital. Saglit lang ah? Sunduin ko lang kapatid ko sa kapit bahay namin, umupo ka muna."

I look around, their house is small and a little bit messy.

When they arrived I saw a cute little girl that looks like her.

"Hi cutie pie!" I greeted her.

"Hi po kuya." She looks shy.

"Ate sino siya?" The little girl asked.

"Kaibigan ko Jillian."

"Ayyyyy, sayang ate akala ko boyfriend mo." She chuckles.

Oh, I wish I was Cassiopeia's boyfriend because I'm willing to do everything for her.

"Kain na tayo." Cassiopeia invited me to eat with them.

"Pasensiya ka na, eto lang pagkain namin? Itlog, tuyo at kanin." She said.

"It's okay I'm willing to eat what's on the table." I smiled to assure her.

Where rich but yaya Mildred taught me to always appreciate what's on the table. She's the one who taught me to have manners, she also said that you need to be kind and understanding everytime.

I prayed before we eat.

"Where are you going?" I asked her.

"Sa Ospital dadalhan kong pagkain si lola at kuya."

"I can drive you to the hospital. Can we take Jillian?"

"Wag na delikado baka mahawa pa ng sakit 'yan sa Ospital," Pag tutol niya. "Tsaka wala ka bang gagawin, 'diba may pasok kanina?" I asked him.

"I ditched the class, We'll stay in the car. Is that okay?" I asked her.

I didn't tell her that I also ditched the dance practice for her, I don't want to add burdens.

Before we go to the hospital, I bought many fruits for her lola.

"Gusto ko ng pahinga. Gusto ko ng ipahinga yung mga mata kong pagod na, 'yung utak kong punong-puno ng problema, yung puso kong hindi na makahinga, yung pagkatao kong napapagod na." Cassiopeia sighed heavily.

I think she needs a break.

"Everything seems so exhausting, If you get tired just rest don't ever quit. Keep holding on to the things that gives you strength, someday everything will be alright." I said sincerely.

"Rigel hindi ka pa ba uuwi? She asked me and she sounded so concerned.

"No, I'll stay by your side. Because I know that no one's here for you right now."

I told myself that starting right now I'm always here for her.

"Thank you pero kaya ko naman na, hindi ka ba hahanapin sainyo?"

"No, I don't go home always. I'm staying at my condo."

I don't go home because my parents are not staying anymore at our house, because they are too busy with their jobs. It's still the same when I go home or stayed in my condo I'm still alone.

"Eh saan ka matutulog dito? Wala kang tutulugan dito."

"I'll stay awake for you and for lola. I will take care both of you." I smiled at her.

"Umuwi ka nalang kaya. Kaya ko naman eh."

"No, I'll stay and that's my decision." I seriously said.

I held her hand and guide her through the roof top. Because I want her to feel better and I don't want her to feel sad.

"Rigel sa'n mo ba 'ko dadalhin? Walang kasama si lola do'n."

"Roof top, I want to make you feel better." I wink at her.

"Anong gagawin natin doon?"

"We will gaze at the beautiful sky and you'll forget all of your problems for a while."

"Come here, lie down in my arms." I said while tapping my arms.

The stars at the skies are alive and breath taking. I never knew that stargazing will be so wonderful, until I fell in love with her.

"Did you know that your name Cassiopeia is one of the constellation?" I asked her

"Hindi ko alam 'yon, totoo ba?"

She was so shocked.

"Yeah, Cassiopeia was one of the 48 constellations, It is easily recognizable due to its distinctive 'W' shape, formed by five bright stars."

"Eh 'yung pangalan mo Rigel? Alam ko isa 'yan sa mga star, na pag-aralan namin 'yon dati noong elementary, nalimutan ko nga lang."

"Rigel is a blue supergiant star. It is typically the seventh brightest star in the celestial sphere." I said still looking at the sky.

Since I was a little I always study about heavenly bodies because I found it interesting.

"Ayon ka ba?" She pointed at the bluish white star.

"No, I'm here. I'm always here by your side." I said while looking at her.

"Sa totoo lang gustong-gusto ko na talagang sumuko tipong konti nalang bibitaw na 'ko, sobrang pagod na talaga 'ko. Kaso may pangarap ako para sa sarili ko at para sa pamilya ko kaya hindi ako pwedeng sumuko, mapapagod lang ako pero hindi ko susukuan yung mga pangarap ko." I look at her and smiled.

Perseverance isn't easy, but it is effort that you put towards accomplishing what you started to do in spite of difficulties and failures.

Cassiopeia is a girl with full of dreams and perseverance. I admire her for being like that.

"If you're feeling tired, lonely, or sad just look at the stars and the moon up in the sky it will help you feel better."

I went to their house because I want to visit her grandma.

She was about to ride in a tricycle, when she saw me get off my car.

"Cassiopeia, Are you going to XG?" I asked her.

"Oo, eh may Gig kasi kami."

"How is your grandma? Is she okay?" I asked worriedly.

"Okay na siya, na discharged na kanina, thank you sa tulong mo Rigel. Sobrang kong na appreciate." She sincerely said.

"Good to know, let's go?"

"Huh?" Her brows furrowed.

"I'll take you to the bar." I said then I open the door at the shotgun seat.

When we arrived at the bar, Cassiopeia accompanied me for a while. She looks so surprised when I ordered a bottle of Jack Daniels.

"Hoy iinom ka nanaman mag isa? Baka sukahan mo nanaman ako ah? Nasaan ba mga kaibigan mo? May problema ka ba? Okay ka lang ba?"

"They're on their way. I'm fine." I smiled to assured her.

I don't want to add up on her problems.

"Hi Cassiopeia, Good morning!" I greeted her with a smile on my lips.

"Ay tipaklong!" She held her chest in panic. "Ba't ka andito?" Takang tanong niya.

"Can we go to school together?" I asked.

"Pa'no kung ayoko?" She crossed her arms then raised her eyebrow.

"I'll carry you inside of my car if you don't want." I chuckles.

I opened the door at the shotgun seat the I just stared at her.

"Huwag mo kong tingnan ng ganiyan, eto na nga sasakay na!" She yelled.

I went to the driver seat and started the engine.

"Here." I handed her the macchiato that I take-out from Costa Coffee.

"Kumain na ko Rigel."

"It's a coffee not a food, drink it." I seriously said but deep inside I wanted to laugh.

She took the macchiato and drank it.

"Ang sarap naman nito." She said while smiling at me.

"Yeah it taste so good because it's a combination of fresh skimmed milk and the brand's signature Mocha Italia blend, that's my favorite." I proudly said.

"Gusto mo?" She offered and I was about to move when she suddenly take away the coffee, "Bili ka ng sayo! Binigay mo na 'to 'diba? Tapos hihingi ka?"

I frowned.

"Eto na nga, uminom ka na kawawa ka naman eh."

I was a little bit pissed.

"No thanks, I will buy later."

"Okay, sabi mo eh." She smirked.

"Are you mad?" She asked me.

"I'm not, it's just a coffee, see you later." I smiled at her even though I'm still pissed.

"Hoy! hanggang dito ba naman ihahatid mo ko?" Cassiopeia raised a brow.

She blocked the hallway.

"No, I also have class in this building." I smirked.

I lied, I just want to took her at her classroom. But I also have class in this building but different floor.

"Oh okay, bye." She looks so shy.

When we have vacant time, I look for Cassiopeia then I saw her spacing out. Maybe she has too much problems.

"Hey you're spacing out. Are you okay?" I asked.

"Nanghihina ako, pero okay lang ako."

I held her hand and we run through the garden.

"What's bothering you? I know you're not okay." I asked her again.

"Pa'no mo nalalamang 'di ako okay? Okay nga lang ako." She persisted.

"Just stay here for a while."

I need to buy her Ice cream so that she can feel better.

"Here, it will help you feel better."

"Thank you Rigel, 'di mo naman kailangang gawin 'to."

"No, I said that I'm always be here for you when you needed me."

I promised to myself that I will be here for her, and that is always.

"Yieeeeeee alam niyo bagay kayo." Mica said, teasing us.

"Alam mo Mica antanga mo kasi mali ka, tao kaming dalawa!" Cassiopeia sarcastically said.

"Tara na nga sa classroom, baka ando'n na prof natin, bye Rigel." Mica said, biding goodbye.

"Una na kami Rigel! Thank you." Cassiopeia smiled at me.

They walk away.

"You're always welcome...In my heart." I said.

"Did she hear that?" I asked myself.

I was so nervous but it's now or never.

"Kc, I will court you. I'm not asking for your permission I'm just informing you." I seriously said.

I think of it a hundred times, before I told her.

"Ha?" She was so confuse.

"I will court you wether you like it or not."

"Sorry Rigel, But I'm not yet ready to be in a relationship."

"Kc I just wanted to remind you that you're worth waiting for, you're worth praying for, you are worth loving for. Because you're not an ordinary woman. You're a princess of God and I'm willing to ask God for his permission."

She's speechless.

I took her to church because I have pure intentions.

If you're serious with one girl you will talk to God and ask for his permission to have her heart.

"God can I court this girl beside me? Can I have her heart? I won't promise that I will not going to hurt her, But I will do my best to take care and protect her heart once I got it."

"Good evening po." I greeted her family.

"Hmmmmm can I ask po?

I'm asking for your permission, if I can court Kc?" I asked nervously.

Her brother was so shocked by what I said.

"Huwag na 'wag kang magkakamaling saktan ang prinsesa ko, kun'di basag 'yang mukha mo." Her brother seriously said.

"Apo iingatan mo ang Kc namin ah? Mahal na mahal namin yan. 'Wag mo hayaang masaktan siya. Mahalin mo siya ng tapat at totoo." Her grandma calmly said.

"I won't promise that I will not going to hurt her but I'm willing to do everything just to protect her, because she's more precious than pearls and ruby." Then I looked at her like she's the most beautiful girl in the world.

"Cassiopeia can you be my girlfriend?" I asked nervously.

Cassiopeia looks so sad, "Rigel s-sorry pero, matagal ko ng gustong sabihin sa'yo 'to." She pause for a minute and I'm so nervous right now, "I love you Rigel." Then she kissed me on my cheeks.

My eyes widened in shocked, I can't believe that she will do that.

I hugged her so tight, then I opened my gift for her. It is a beautiful two layer necklace. On the first layer it has the 'W' which represents Cassiopeia constellation, on the other layer it has crescent moon at the middle and star on the side.

She turned her back then I put her hair on the side to put the beautiful necklace on her neck.

"If we're going to be back again here next time, I'm not giving you a necklace anymore, I will give you ring and that is on our wedding day. I love you Cassiopeia." I kissed her on her forehead.

I wished that will happen in the near future.

"I love you too Rigel." She hugged me back.

"Cassiopeia I can't promise you that things won't be hard for us, but I will keep trying even when life gets harder. I can't promise you that we won't have arguments, but I will keep fighting for our relationship no matter what happen. I can't promise that we won't have bad days, but I'll do my best for us to have better days. The truth is, I can't promise you anything in this world because everything seems so temporary and promises are just words that meant to be broken, that's why I don't like promises. All I can say is, I will keep fighting for you, for us, and I'll do my best to be the best version of myself. I will always choose you every single day as long as you keep choosing me too. I hope our relationship will lasts because I don't want anybody else but you, only you Cassiopeia."

"Please don't expect me, to be always good, kind, caring and loving girlfriend. There are times when I'll be cold, thoughtless and so hard to understand. But no matter how painful it gets. No matter how long it takes. I'll stay with you and that is always Rigel."

For our first Anniversary I plan to go at the beach with her and we will watch the sunset together.

I was waiting for her to wake up. When she's finally awake I held her hand and we run towards the shore. It's almost sunset. We sit and relax, waiting for the sun to go down.

When the sun went down I looked at her beautiful eyes and she looked at me with the same intensity.

"Happy 1st Anniversary Cassiopeia. I will never call you with those cheesy endearment because your name sounded very special for me, that's why I will never replace it. I'm so blessed to have a woman like you that's why I want to see you with gray hair, I want to grow old with you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you so much Cassiopeia." I sincerely said while looking at her.

"Yuck I don't even like those cheesy endearments, nakakadiri, nakakasuka." She acted like she's going to throw up, "Rigel I still remember the day I met you. Every night I told the stars about you. I always think of you and I will be forever grateful that you were born in this world and I met you. You always pray for me and It's priceless to be in someones prayer. Rigel Happy 1st Anniversary, I want you today, tomorrow, next week, next month, next year and for the rest of my life. Rigel I love you times all the stars in the milky way galaxy."

I just gave her a letter, because Cassiopeia is not materialistic. I know that she will appreciate a letter than those luxurious gift.

I held her hand then we went inside of my car. I continued driving until we reached the Enchanted kingdom. We celebrated our 2nd anniversary there.

We rode the rides that we want. It's getting dark when we rode the Wheel of Fate. Suddenly fireworks hit the sky. We looked up, to watch the fireworks then after that we looked at each other.

"I love the view, I mean I love you Rigel." She looked at me and smiled.

"I love you too, Happy 2nd Anniversary Cass I'm hoping that we'll end up marrying each other."

She was so surprised when he saw me standing in front of the door.

"Am I dreaming?" She asked herself.

"No Cass you're not." She run towards me and hugged me then she gave me a soft kiss.

"Happy 3rd Anniversary Rigel! Nakakainis ka naman! Akala ko 'di ka talaga makakauwi eh." She pouted her pink lips.

I kissed her then she gave me our house plan for our future house. I gave her an Enchanted Rose flower lamp from US.

It's not expensive that's why I bought it.

"It's just a prank Cass, you're my home. No matter where I go, I always knew my way back to you because you are my compass star, Cassiopeia. Happy 3rd Anniversary thank you for another 365 beautiful days with you. One more year with you is another gift from God and I'm so thankful for that. You taught me so many things in life, you help me grow and you taught me to appreciate everything. Thank you for being the best buddy. I'm so happy when I'm trying to annoy you but believe me Cass I love you and you're the greatest blessing in my life." Rigel said sincerely while looking in my eyes.

I intertwined our hands, while staring at beautiful sky with full of fireworks.

It's not about giving her the world, it's about making her feel like she's the only special girl in your life.

"Congrats Rigel and Happy 4th Anniversary for us, thank you because you're always there for me, you never leave me specially when I needed you. Thank you for your laugh because it always builds me up and your warm hands that gives me strength. You are the most important thing in the world for me and the best thing that ever happened in my life. My life is great because you added colors. I will treasure all the memories that we shared. Thank you for everything Rigel." She greeted me like she will going to left me.

"Stop saying that, you will never leave me right? Our relationship should end in church." I calmly said, even though I can sense it.

She didn't answer, and looked at the sky while holding my hands.

"I just want to tell you this Cassiopeia. You are the reason why I can laugh everyday. When I look into your eyes, I only see pure happiness. When you smile, everything seems so magical. And every time you touch me, I feel warmth. You give me everything Cass. Thanks for being there for me, for 4 years. Happy 4th anniversary Cass, I'm hoping for more years with you. I want you to be my wife in the future and I will do everything just to make it happen."

She smiled bitterly, and hugged me.

"Rigel tama na, hindi pa ba malinaw sa'yo ang lahat? Hindi na kita mahal. Hayaan mo 'kong sumaya sa iba, kahit wala ka na. Dahil kahit minsan hindi ko naisip na makasama ka sa future. Rigel you deserve someone who chooses you every single day. Someone who doesn't make broken promises. You deserve someone who gives you more than anything & everything that you need. You deserve to be someone's everything Rigel, not a woman like me. You'll find someone better, 'yong mamahalin ka ng sobra-sobra, hindi kagaya ko na kayang mag mahal ng iba, kahit binigay mo na ang lahat. Kalimutan mo na 'ko!"

I cried so hard after hearing those words coming from her. I felt so lost that time, I wanted to disappear.

I inhaled a large amount of breath, before I talk again.

"I can't f-forget you Cass. What if, when I meet s-someone new, and I never fall for them because they aren't you?" She looked away and massaged her head, "You want me to forget you Cass?" I looked at her while crying.

"Yes." She nodded.

"Damn it Cass! It's so hard to let you go, It's so hard to forget someone like you. You gave me everything I need, I found my comfort in you."

I kicked the rocks in front of me because of so much anger and frustration.

"Saktan mo ko Rigel kasi deserve ko 'yon! sampalin mo ko, sapakin mo 'ko, sipain mo 'ko, sigawan mo 'ko, murahin mo 'ko, tatanggapin ko lahat kasi hindi ako marunong makuntento. Binigay mo na lahat sa 'kin, pagmamahal, oras, material na bagay, pinapasaya mo 'ko, andiyan ka lagi para sa 'kin pero nagawa ko pa ding maghanap ng iba, niloko kita Rigel."

Giving someone the best of me...and watched her choose someone else, It fucking hurts more than I expected.

"I can't hurt you Cass, I'm scared of hurting you. I love you so much and I respect you. I will never hurt you because you're so precious. You want me to set you free? I will do it, because I respect your decision Cass even though it gives me so much pain." I was already sitting on the ground because I felt so weak, "Fuck! I can't believe that this time I'm setting you free, I never thought that our relationship will end up like this. But, if that's what you wanted, I hope you'll find the happiness that you deserve with Casper. I love you so much Cass and I'm willing to let you go if that's the only thing that can make you happy. Please be happy Cass, be happy with Casper. But for the last time, allow me to take you home, I just want to make sure that you'll be home safely."

After we arrived at their house, I kissed her, on her forehead for the last time.

"I'm setting you free my love, I just want to make you happy, even if it means breaking me."

I take my hands off her, and watched her walked away from my life.

I wanted to say, Cass please don't leave me, don't let me go. I'm still holding on. But I need to sacrifice for our own good.

Because if you really love someone you need to sacrificed even it will breaks you into million pieces.

It really hurts, I don't know where to start again, I'm so lost. I don't even know if I can live without her in my life.

I punched and kicked my car while I was crying so hard to ease the pain that I feel.

Break up hurts me the most. I spend days, months and years doing everything for her. And one day, I wake up having to live my own life again.

After we broke up, Me and my Mom went to US for her treatment. I don't want to leave Cassiopeia but I don't have any choice because Mom needs me the most.

When my mother died I went back to the Philippines after I finally move on. I want Cassiopeia back in my life, I want to marry her.

I saw her on church but I didn't go near her. Because I don't want to bother Cassiopeia.

I went to Pitcher's Perfect bar because Nicolo's here, when I suddenly bumped a woman. I hold her waist to support her weight. I looked at her, then I saw the woman that I still love.

"Cassiopeia?" My brows furrowed.

I was just staring at her for too long.

"Cass are you okay?" I asked worriedly.

"Layuan mo nga 'ko, okay lang ako! Kaya ko sarili ko."

She pushed me away but instead of walking away, I carry her like a bride.

"Sa'n mo ba ko dadalhin Rigel? Aalis-alis ka tapos bigla kang babalik?"

I dropped her off at the bench, as we got out of the bar.

"Are you drunk?" I asked again.

"Ano sa tingin mo?" She rolled her eyes.

"You're drunk Cass."

"Umalis ka na nga Rigel, Iniwan mo na ko 'diba? Ba't bumalik ka pa?"

"Cass I left because you never asked me to stay."

"You should stay because you want too, not because I asked you. You said you're always be here by my side, pero noong panahong nawala si Lola kailangang-kailangan kita no'n Rigel, pero wala ka. Asan ka noong panahong kailangan kita? Wala 'diba? mas pinili mong iwan ako. Sinundan pa kita sa airport, umaasa 'kong ando'n ka pa, pero wala na 'kong Rigel na nakita miski anino. Kaya pwede ba? Umalis ka nalang ulit. At 'wag na 'wag ka nang babalik!"

"I left because mom needs treatment, she's ill Cass. And you're not the only one who lose someone you love, I also lose my mom. My mom d-died because of cancer. I'm so l-lost that moment, because I only have myself. I felt so lonely. I already know before my mom died, that I'm just adopted child. She adopted me since when I was a little." My tears started to fall.

"What? Your just an adopted child?" Her eyes widened.

I nod.

"I'm sorry Rigel. Sobrang selfish ko, hindi ko man lang naisip na may dahilan ka kung bakit bigla kang umalis, sorry napakaselfish kong tao, I didn't consider your feelings. I'm sorry, I was blinded by my own pain." I let out a sighed.

"I already forgave you Cass. I hope you'll forgive me too, for leaving you, without biding good bye."

"Cassiopeia let me be your present, not your past." I showed her the promised ring that I wanted to gave her years ago, "Cassiopeia can you be mine again, and for the rest of my life?"

Maybe this is the right time for us, I will never let her go again.

"I love you Rigel times all the stars in the Milky way Galaxy." She nodded and her tears started to fall.

I hugged and kissed her.

"It feels like home Cass, I love you so much more. I'm not lucky to have you, because I'm so blessed to have a woman like you."

Cassiopeia will be my home forever.

"Thank you Lord, you're the best!" I said.

"Relax yourself Rigel, whenever you have a problem just look at the sky, it will help you to feel better." Cassiopeia said.

I looked at her because she memorized what I said years ago.

"I feel better when I'm with you Cass, and we're both looking at the same sky."

She hugged me to give me comfort.

"One more Cass!" I said.

"Kailan kaya matatapos 'yang one more mo? Kanina ka pa one more nang one more diyan."

"Last one Cass, I promise."

"Sige na dalian mo, tutong na 'ko dito."

"Cass smile, 1,2,3!"

"Tama na Manager! Abuso ka sa model mo." She complaint.

"Sorry, I love you." I kissed her on her forehead.

I always took a lot of pictures of her because I wanted to have more memories with her.

We gaze at the stars and the beautiful moon at the sky, it was so perfect.

"Hug me Cass." I told her.

"Ang clingy mo naman!" She looked at me.

"Hug me so tight, like you did before." I intertwined our hands.

She hugged me then I sing for her, while we are staring at the sky.

"Rigel pupunta pala 'kong Laguna bukas."

"What are you going to do there?"

"Bibisitahin ko 'yung site."

"Do you want me, to go with you?"

I want to accompany her just to make sure that she will be safe.

"Hindi na, kaya ko na 'yon tsaka may kumpanyang nag-aantay sa'yo."

"You sure?"

"Oo, naman." She smiled to assured me.

I hugged her so tight before I let her go.

"Bye, take care." I told him

"Bye I love you."

"I love you too Rigel."

I can still remember that we we're so in love with each other in a special way.

From Cassiopeia:

I'm leaving now, I love you so much Rigel.

To Cassiopeia:

Take care Cass, I love you so much more. Text me when you get home safely.

From Cassiopeia:

I will, see you later.

This is my last conversation with her and I regret that I didn't accompany her that day.

I hugged her coffin and cried so hard, I don't care about the people that keeps on staring at me.

"Cass I really missed you. I miss your smile, your eyes, your voice, your lips, your laugh, your hands, your humor, your weird faces, I really missed you, the whole you." I try to wipe my tears away but they kept on falling. "I love you so much and that's the beginning and ending of us, but I will be forever grateful that I met you in just a short period of time. My love for you will be forever engraved in my heart, I will treasure all the memories that we shared with each other."

I cried & cried, I didn't leave her for the last time. I sing for her just like I always do before.

I'm still hoping that this is just a dream, and I badly want to wake up, because I can't accept the fact that she's already gone.

After I sang a song for her, I just sat on the chair with Kieff, I gave him body rubs to feel that I'm always here for him, I will never left him.

Today is Cassiopeia's burial my last day with her.

I want to marry her cold body. I only want her in my life, because I can't see myself with other woman.

I never dream of marrying her inside the coffin. I never plan a wedding like this.

This is the saddest wedding for me. Imagine you will marry a dead body of the woman you love the most.

As she was walking on the aisle with her mother, my tears are keep on falling. I promised to myself that Cassiopeia will walk on the aisle virgin, not wearing a wedding gown inside the coffin.

All of the people inside the church are crying too, not because of joy but because of sorrow.

When she's finally in front of me, I hug her coffin. I cried so hard because it hurts so much to marry her with cold body and not breathing anymore. I don't want to let her go but I need to.

"Maybe I deserved someone else, but I've always wanted you Cassiopeia. Losing you means losing myself too, I don't even know how to explain the pain that I felt inside. Cassiopeia you gave me the greatest memories, until you became one of my best memory. Maybe the only way to w-win you back is to let you go, for the last time. I need to let you go no matter how much I wanted you to stay here by my side. No matter how much it kills me every single day and night. I need to let you go and enable for you to leave peacefully. But my love for you will be forever engraved in my heart and my memory. I'm going to miss you Cassiopeia my compass star. I love you so much and this is the hardest goodbye for me. I promised that I will love you until my last breath. I'm finally letting you go my love, you will have a special place in my heart until death do us part." I told the saddest wedding vow, even though I know that she will never answer me.

I put the wedding ring on her cold finger, my tears never stops, it keeps on falling.

I can't feel any happiness, my soul is full of grief.

I kissed her even though she will not going to respond.

Our marriage are not valid because my wife is not breathing anymore. There was no marriage in the eyes of the law but there is a blessing by a union of spirit.

When we finally arrived at the cemetery I feel so weak, I couldn't walk. But I tried my best because this is the only thing that I can do for her.

We prayed for her, then father blessed her body with holy water. After that we gave her a white rose.

While they are slowly putting down her body, I'm also having emotional breakdowns.

I badly want to go with her.

"Cass please take me with you, how can I live without you?" My tears are unstoppable, "Please take my life away, I don't wanna live anymore, I can't live without you in my life."

Misty and Clyde stops me from making scene.

"Bro let me go! I wanted to be with Cass for the last time."

"Rigel calm yourself down, Kc will not like it." Clyde said.

I'm alive but, I'm dying deep inside.

I wanna die, I don't know how to live again.

After that, we release white doves, butterflies and balloon. Because that symbolizes releasing your love ones or sending loving thoughts to their spirit, I wrote on a sitcky notes and attached it to balloon.

"I'm letting you go Cass, even though it fucking hurts me so much. I love you times all the stars in the milky way galaxy. You may now rest in peace" I said while looking at the blue sky.

It's been 6 months since her burial.

I always look at her pictures like I used to watch her laughing with those beautiful smiles.

I really miss her, I miss everything about her. I miss someone in heaven, and God knows it was so painful for me.

Missing someone you love and not being able to see them is the worst feeling.

I always drink every night and I also tried committing suicide a lot of times, but I know Cass is there looking at me, still guiding me with every decisions that I take. Because everytime I wanted to suicide I always see a beautiful butterfly and I end up crying and drinking until I get drunk.

But one day, I waked up and I wanted to live again even though she's not here anymore.

Losing someone will change you a lot, you'll might become worst or better.

Life has a way of presenting storms and trials that we all have to face. We all have the hurdles we must cross over to get to the other side.

I went at the beach with Kieff.

We'll be here by the ocean waiting for proof that sunset's can be beautiful goodbye's.

I was starting to accept the fact that not everyone we met is meant to be in our future.

Pain is part of our life. Our scars are symbols of our strength.

The best thing we can do is to keep going. Never stop your life because someone passed away.

Tuluyan mo akong iniwan sa lugar kung saan mayroong tayo. Now, I need to go far away from this place, farther from you. But I will take away all the memories you left behind.

It's getting dark, I decided to climbed the moutain with Kieff just to gaze at the stars.

There are many stars at the sky tonight but Cassiopeia is still the one that shining through my heart.

Every night I told the stars about her, because Cassiopeia is like a star that across at my dark sky.

Sometimes, it will take a hundred breakdowns before all of your wounds will heal and that's okay atleast you'll get up and start a new life.

"Hi Cassiopeia! I really missed you, I hope you're here by my side because I never plan that one day I will gaze at the sky without you, now you're one of the stars at the Empyrean, and I still I love you."

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