Chants (2)

So far, the journey had been smooth, mostly sunny and stormless days as the ship tread the seas. I was thankful enough that we did not return to King's Landing across Rosby Road because my balls might not make it while riding a destrier for a long time.

Five days had passed since I told Ser Barristan about my so-called secret. I only saw him once during these times, God knows where he was or what he was doing. I did not bother asking the sailors nor spied on him because there were more important things that I should focus on, like bardic chants.

My proficiency in using bardic chants was getting better, thanks to my continuous practices during the night. 'The Bitch in the Ditch' could now last a full fifteen minutes before the effect disappeared. The enhancements were stronger, especially evident in the strengthening of the eyes, making the eyesight clearer, sharper, and had a wider visual range. Too bad I could not try Merryl's curses and poisons yet because it was too dangerous and unpredictable. I decided to focus on it after I fully settled down in King's Landing.

The sailors who experienced the power of the chant were always good to me. Later, I discovered that everyone was calling me 'the Priest of a Foreign God who protects bitches', and it became a running gag in the ship. But I sensed a hint of fear and awe in their eyes whenever they had a conversation with me. The only reason I could think of why was due to the magical effect of the song on their bodies. One time, Mitch confronted me during one of my practice nights, asking if I was truly a priest or something. I was not sure if he was serious about it or not but I told him that I was not and it was just a joke. But even if I denied their absurd claims, he became more respectful and gave me special treatment. Thanks to them, my life during these days was pretty good.

I thought that tonight was just like the previous nights but I was wrong. After wandering around the quarterdeck while the 'Bitch in the Ditch' was active, I heard a familiar voice through the other side of the wall.

"...I'm worried, Barristan! He can't be trusted anymore!"

That thick voice. It was King Aerys! Nobody saw him embarking on the Dragon Cove. Was he in disguise, I thought as I crouched on the floor.

"Your Grace, Lord Tywin's loyal to you. He's been your friend for a long time."

At last, I finally knew where Ser Barristan was. As a member of the Kingsguard, I should have expected that he would not leave the king.

"That's in the past!"

"But you're the one who named him the Hand of the King, your Grace."

"I regret it now! Who knows he planned this all just to kill me in the fucking dungeon of the damned Darklyns!"

"But Lord Tywin was against your decision to come in Duskendale in the first place, your Grace. He rejected Lord Denys' invitation but - "

"Damn him! Are you now his loyal dog, Barristan?!"

"I've always been loyal to the throne, Your Grace. I'm just reminding your Grace that Lord Tywin also rescued - "

Then I heard a crashing sound before the king shouted, "Bloody Seven Hells! I can feel it, Barristan! I can feel it in my bones! He's planning to usurp the throne because I don't listen to him anymore! He wants to kill me and let Rhaegar sit on the Iron Throne! He wants a puppet to control so he can fucking rule it all while hiding in the dark!"

Then there was heavy breathing. I did not know what was happening on the other side of the wall but I could only imagine the intense glare the king was giving the knight. After a few minutes of silence, he shouted, "Get out! I need to be alone!"

"As you wish, Your Grace."

I took these words as a hint to leave the area. At once, I carefully lurched forward and ran as fast as I could until I reached the other side of the deck. From there, I returned to my practicing spot and stared at the blue sea. I knew that Aerys was bonkers but I never expected that he would do such length to avoid the other's company. Indeed, the written biography in his Wikipedia was correct - he was already mad back then but this case sealed the deal. If my memory served me right, there were only a few years left before Robert's Rebellion would take place, around 280 to 281 AC.

"There's no time to rest and relax. Fuck the Targaryens...Fuck the Baratheons...Fuck the Lannisters...Fuck the Iron Throne...Maybe I should just go to the other side of the Wall and support the Night King...Dang, Merryl's affecting my mind again..." I whispered to myself, glancing up at the sky.

=======================================

Just like I expected, I woke up late. My eyes were still heavy as I head to the washing basin, and splashed cold water against my face. After refreshing myself, I changed into clean clothes and went outside the room.

When I was heading to the kitchen, I knew something was unusual. Mitch and the rest of the bitch gangs were usually stationed at the upper deck but this time, they were all huddled together beside the storage room. My detective instinct kicked in and I headed to the entrance. As soon as I arrived, Elliott, one of Mitch's friends, had a wide grin on his face and asked, "Priest Dontos?"

"Good day, Elliott." I ignored the ridiculous title he gave me and peered through the door. There I saw most of the bitch gang handling several black, wooden crates filled with bottles. "Something's up?"

Elliott nodded. "It's mah thirty-sixth name-day. Captain's lettin' me have these wines from the Seven Swords, sayin' to let these bloody alcohols to release some tension. Too bad there are no bitches here. Those dirty holes can help ease up my cock shite!" He then guffawed at his own joke, clutching his round belly as he clapped his other hand against my shoulder. After several seconds of hearty laughter, he added, "It's been Captain's tradition, sayin' not only those bloody rich can have a grand name-day celebration."

I was disappointed when I heard his reply, thinking that their unusual movement was due to an important event coming up. But I did not show any trace of regret and grinned, "It really calls for a celebration."

"Heh! You had a drink before?"

"What do you think?"

"Hah! Then see you at the dinin' table near the kitchen!" Elliott left me at the doorway and joined the rest of the bitch gangs.

I smiled when I saw how simple their life was. Just a bit of drinking, fucking, working, sleeping, and eating - these were all they needed to live a happy life. Sometimes I wished I could have a life like them but I knew I could never relax like that or be complacent at any given time because the game of thrones was deadly. If you were a person who knew that the future was bloody and dangerous, you could not help but do something to avoid it or at least face it well-prepared.

The inevitable happened and I was together with the rest of the sailors who were drinking wine and eating meat. Amidst the celebration, Mitch looked at me and raised up his cup, shouting, "Priest Dontos, sing a song for us!"

Elliott banged his fist against the table and stood up. "Yes, Priest Dontos! Sing a song for us!"

The rest of them pounded their fists against any wooden surface they could find and bellowed as well, "Sing a song for us!"

Suddenly, the door flung open and Ser Barristan entered the dining area. He grabbed a bottle of wine and sat on the nearest chair and incited, "Sing a song for us!"

Then everyone clapped their hands as they raised their mugs and cups, shouting in unison, "Sing a song for us!"

I gave them a wry smile and walked through the crowd and climbed up an empty table. I stood still while I waited for them to calm down. They saw my intention and slowly, they became silent. All their eyes were fixated on me. Why do I feel like I was going to have a concert or something, I thought as I picked up a bottle and tapped it with a spoon to get their attention. I took a deep breath and spoke, "This song's about the Queen of the Whore..."

Some whistled loudly when they heard what my song was all about, and even others laughed raucously, claiming that I was indeed a priest who protected bitches. I knew that the only way to control the crowd was to start singing, so I hit the spoon against the bottle rhythmically, and began singing.

*****

"There was a Lady named Jenny, she was the Queen of the Whore,

who married a Lad named Benny, he was the King of the Poor,

They lived in the kingdom with no money, but no one can make them fall,

Making love that tasted like honey, inside a castle without a door.

But her sister named Penny, she was the Witch of the Moor,

who was old but still horny, entered the castle without a door,

There she stopped the young Benny, and forced him in her hole,

Between Jenny and Penny, who's the true Queen of the Whore?"

***

I went on singing as I tapped my feet against the table while the rest of the sailors were having their merry drinking. Some of them were able to memorize the lyrics and started singing with me. The others who were attracted to my ridiculous song caught up with the rest and soon, the area was filled with booming voices, singing 'the Queen of the Whore'. I never stopped until I noticed Ser Barristan holding a bloody bandage on his right hand.