1 Rebirth

What is death? According to Hindu and Buddhist scholars, death is just one of the features or points in the never-ending cycle of Samsara. To them, death is just the subsequent stage of life and should be embraced because the successive stage is rebirth, which entails being reborn in another body.

Scientifically inclined minds define death as the cessation of all biological processes that sustain living organisms. When an organism dies or embraces death, its heart stops, and its respiratory, circulatory, mental, and all other processes necessary to drive the organism cease to function.

Christians, Muslims, and Jews believe that death is when the soul separates from the body and subsequently moves to another realm to be judged or trialed according to the magnitude of their sins back on Earth.

In any case, death is a universal constant that runs throughout the cosmos, enveloping or smothering everything and everyone in its cold embrace. Even the nigh unfathomable stars that dot the starry skies at some point in their seemingly boundless lives experience the chill of its icy claws.

So, was I dead? Was I a part of the throes of humans who have been escorted to the other side by the fabled Grim Reaper? That should have been the case because of my last encounter on Earth, but it was not.

If I was dead, why did I still have a grasp of my exceptional mental faculties? Why did I still have an inkling of visual acuity and could manage to identify the jarring abyssal darkness encompassing my state of being, sticking all around me, and making me feel wet as if I were floating in some sort of fluid?

Why did I feel a sense of comfort in that tight space that would have made any individual with claustrophobia faint to death? Why could I make out the muffled sounds of people conversing outside my newly found space?

Why did I feel like drowning in that intense, comfortable warmth that seemed to soak into the very essence of my existence?

After Anna shot me in the head for the second and last time to stop me from killing Doctor Tenma's children, I should have been dead.

But that wasn't the case. In fact, I felt more alive than ever before, and more refreshed as well.

The complete and utter solitude of my newfound environment brought me a sense of peace and tranquility that I never thought was even remotely possible.

It felt as if I was the very embodiment of the concept of freedom, and all the metaphysical and physical links tying me to anything of the sort were nonexistent. My mind had never felt so clear...

When I was alive, I never cared about life or what it gave. I could never understand the ideologies and philosophies behind why humans, in their pathetic futility, craved and embraced life to its fullest while ignoring and being fearful of its beautiful counterpart.

When it was the only one among the two that was equitable and impartial in the distribution of its love. Death takes and life gives, but death takes all and life only gives a few.

I never understood why people cherished something so volatile when the only meaning life gave their lives was inconsequential and insignificant when compared to the grandness of reality.

We were specks of dust, our planet was just a larger speck among hundreds of larger specks in some remote corner of the ever-expanding universe. So, I could not fathom why humans, in their insignificance, craved something that was just as meaningless as they are.

To me, there was nothing special about the concept called life. It was just the last stage in an all-encompassing cycle that functioned in the confines of the universe. There was no meaning to life, only death.

Doctor Tenma, arguably the best neurosurgeon of his era and the man who saved my life, believed that all lives were equal. But how can something that doesn't have any meaning be equal?

As the man who essentially gave me another life, I felt a deep sense of obligation to guide him away from the sheer redundancy of his beliefs, but he wouldn't budge.

Even after all the things I did to him and those around him, all the chaos I orchestrated that ruined his life and even made him a wanted criminal, he still held onto his beliefs. At the bitter end, I lost my first battle.

I tried again, and this time, I almost won. But for better or worse, my other half interfered, and unwilling to harm her to complete my goal, I made her finish what she started, this time permanently.

The scene was still fresh in my mind: the glistening tears streaming down her face, the sadness and guilt filling her eyes, the darkness of the apparent gloom of the living room, the mixture of rage and guilt in Tenma's eyes as she shielded his prepubescent daughter away from us, the dark muzzle of the pistol, and, of course, the strong smell of iron emanating from the corpse of Tenma's beloved behind me.

Everything was perfect.

I could still hear her whispers, her last message to me before she devoured me. Her sweet voice that rung in my ears before the accelerated pieces of metal threw me into the comforting embrace of Mother Death. From that moment onward, she was whole. At least now, I won.

By preventing me from claiming the life of the child, they sent a message that the child's life was more important than mine, thus cementing my point that some lives are more important than others and that only in death are we one.

But given my immediate circumstances, confusion filled the entirety of my being. Due to the existence of my consciousness and the fact that my sensory faculties still had a sense of functionality, it was evident that I was, in fact, still alive.

But where was I? The warmth I was feeling and the new sense of vitality brimming inside me dismissed any notion of being an undead life form trapped in a coffin, like in those books I read out of morbid curiosity.

And the fact that I couldn't see anything at all removed any prospect of me being grown inside of a tube from my mind.

Thousands of thoughts ran laps across my mind as I conjured up theories upon theories to explain my condition. After a while, I came to a fascinating conclusion: I had been reborn as a baby or, in better terms, a fetus.

The very thought of such a thing being real or existent sounded ludicrous to me when I was back on Earth, and at that particular moment, I couldn't help but feel confused and surprised.

Did that mean that there was, after all, meaning to life? Did our past actions really dictate the next course of our lives after facing death?

Did Karma really exist? And if so, why was I given this opportunity? Why did I, someone who had caused so much death and destruction, have the chance for another life when all I'd done was spit on it? Were all my beliefs false?

I desperately wanted to know the answers to these questions. I wanted to know if I was utterly wrong and wayward with all my core beliefs and conjectures. In fact, I was excited.

My heart was starving to know the truth, but as the walls of the womb started constricting fully, pressing against my fragile body and tightening around my figure, a familiar feeling washed over me. It was a feeling that told me I would soon get all the answers I craved.

Maybe this was what Anna was talking about? A chance to start anew, a chance to quell the monster that had grown very big inside me. A chance to be a better version of myself...

Suddenly, as if the gates of heaven had opened their doors, something parted, and through it, I could faintly make out the trace of white light. The once-muffled sounds became louder as a result of this, almost singing in my ears.

Filled with wonder, the walls around me tightened again, and this time, a large thrust manifested and began pushing me outside of the space.

The voices gradually became louder as my body descended into the hole, and in no time, with a loud cry that tickled my ears, my entire body was forcefully thrown out.

Instantaneously, my warmth disappeared, as if stolen from my very cells, my eyes closed due to the overwhelming light that struck them, tinnitus set in due to the seemingly innumerable pieces of sound, and my mouth opened, desperately sucking in the present oxygen to fill my empty lungs.

The person holding me wrapped my body with a white linen cloth and started rocking my body, and gradually, little by little, the new stimulations died down, and when they did, I could finally have a look at my new surroundings.

The first thing my eyes fell on was the person holding my body. She was a middle-aged woman clothed in a long black plain dress that hung at her shin, with a white silk cap covering her neat brown hair.

She had fair skin, brown lively eyes, a small crooked nose, small pink lips, and crow's foot adorning the sides of her eyes freckles. Overall, she was a comely woman with a motherly smile adorning her face.

As she observed me, my eyes turned from her, and flitted about, examining the room as the weird mixed smell of blood, sweat, juices, and urine, and roses filtered into my nostrils while heavy breathing and incessant mumbling rang in my ears.

The room was fairly large with high ceilings supported by thick stone beams and tall windows on the east and west sides covered by thin yellow curtains that danced with the wind.

The walls were made of beautiful red bricks with decorated wood paneling that accentuated their beauty.

The center of the room was bedecked with a deep red carpet that looked Turkish in nature with wooden chairs, couches, and wooden chests lying all around.

Many women of similar clothing and color of various age groups were standing around us, holding towels, buckets, and all sorts of things with their eyes opened wide with surprise and happiness as they all stared at me and spoke in hushed voices.

Everything, from the clothing, to the decor, to the people screamed of medieval Europe, and this brought further guesses to my mind about where I was and my current predicament.

It was evident that I was in a different time, presumably hundreds of years in the past if not more. And judging by the looks of awe, respect, and love from the people near me, and the expensive decor, I was probably the scion of a noble house.

These were all theories, so I had to verify them first before formulating something conclusive, but the very thought of my theories being true filled me up with more confusion than ever because the assumptions that formed in my head were to surreal and broke my very understanding of the universe.

Just as I was about to turn my head to see the one who birthed me into the world, I caught a glance of a frown that settled on the face of the woman holding me.

Her eyes shined with surprise and slight fear as they continued to examine me, and the more she watched me, the more it increased until she secretly snuck two of her fingers to my legs and pinched me as the other women in the room urgently tended to the women behind me.

The pain instantly set in and, like a virus, it spread throughout every fiber of my being. It was as if the inner layer of my skin was cut with a sharp blade.

Despite the sensitivity of my body, my mind was still trained and overly used to pain, so I only flinched in her arms and let out a pained gurgle. My eyes remained unwavering and fixed on hers.

This seemed to upset her even more, as her frown deepened. She tried to do it again, but a voice interrupted her.

"Give me my child." A soothing and melodic voice commanded from behind me, and almost instantly, the woman's eyes widened in fear, and her arms trembled slightly.

"Your Grace, the prince isn't crying. It's a bad omen for a newborn babe t——"

"I said, give me my child." The voice repeated softly, with undisguised malice brimming inside the softly spoken words.

Silence descended upon the room, and this time, the woman's body started trembling. With undisguised fear in her eyes, she held me tightly and took two steps forward.

As everyone watched quietly, she slowly lowered my towel-wrapped body into the gentle and warm arms of another woman.

I shifted my body and made myself comfortable in her arms. The moment I laid eyes on my new holder, something indescribable gripped my heart.

She was a strikingly beautiful young woman with a face as fair as the sun and as smooth as porcelain. It seemed almost carved by the hands of the gods, with bright green eyes, long golden blonde hair that, even though it was disheveled, looked stunning, high cheekbones, a full mouth, and a slender neck.

Her features looked straight out of a fairytale. Despite the sweat that stuck to her forehead and the sense of tiredness that exuded from her figure, she still looked regal and strong, as if she were a Queen from a fictitious novel.

But those weren't the things that made my tiny heart unsettled and created that deep and unyielding feeling I thought I'd only bear for one person.

It was her eyes, her deep green eyes burning with so much vitality and vigor that they seemed to almost infect me. The eyes that shined and sparkled with a sense of boundless, infinite love as they beheld me with that radiant smile plastered across her lips, further emphasizing the sheer magnitude of her love.

"...My sweet little one, you're such a beautiful thing. It is as if you were perfectly modeled and crafted by the gods and sent as a gift into my embrace. Oh, how beautiful you are." She whispered softly, her honeyed voice filled with love, as she lay a gentle peck on my forehead, bewitching me with it and her eyes.

"Have you thought of a name yet, Your Grace?" One of the young girls, probably in her teenage years with a freckled face, standing on our left side together with the rest of the women, asked sweetly as she gazed at us with a smile on her youthful face.

Without removing her eyes from mine, her smile broadened. As if deep in thought, she became quiet for a while and started rocking me slowly.

"....His first name will be Joffrey, after the first King of the Rock. From henceforth, his name shall be Joffrey Baratheon of the House Baratheon, The Prince of The Seven Kingdoms and heir to the Iron Throne Of Westeros." She proclaimed with the pride of a lion, her voice a little pitched.

Immediately, the women in the room started nodding their heads in acknowledgment.

"...My sweet little lion, you and I are going to be together for eternity," She leaned close and whispered sweetly into my ear as she kissed me on the tip of my nose. "I promise that I'd rather have all the kingdoms crumble to the ground before I let even a hair on your head be harmed. I'll love you until the day I die, my little one...I promise."

...Anna, was this what you wished for me? Could this be what we all dreamed of and wanted before everything changed?

Was she going to be the light that would cast away and burn the monster fully grown within me? Was this going to be the start of a new beginning?

With all these questions that popped up in my head as I soaked up all of her love like a thirsty sponge, I couldn't help the smile that drew on my face and the small cry that came out of my mouth as I extended my hand towards her face.

She giggled melodiously and grabbed my small hand lovingly, placing it on her moist face and making me feel much of her warmth.

It was at that moment that I knew my new life wouldn't be boring, but that it was going to be much more thrilling and exciting than the one I led before.

A life where I had a chance to start anew. A life I was going to thoroughly savor to its fullest...