1 Prologue - Worthless

If you could go back, what would you change?

If you could go back, would you try to be a better person? Or will you just try to get a more convenient life?

I want to go back, I don't want this to happen, I promise, I will be better.

"H-help…" a coarse voice comes out from my throat.

All the gray clouds around me suffocate me, their infernal embrace engulfs me as I extend my arms towards the sky.

"Help!" I cry tears of regret.

I hate asking for help. That isn't who I am, I hate asking for help. If I want something done, I'll do it myself; just as I have always done.

"Somebody, help me, please!!!" I scream with all of the energy that I have left.

But to no avail.

A tube of iron is holding my leg as the building is crumbling into pieces. I try to pull myself again, but there's no use, the floor had to fell just in a way that I can't get out, even more so in the ragged state that I am.

"I am about to die! A-anybody, I beg you."

Humiliating, I am begging for my life, but I don't want this to end now. I haven't even repented of my sins… I have so many debts, so many dreams that I left behind.

Just like the souls of the damned in hell, that piece of iron is like them, clinging to the one that is trying to escape, not letting go.

Maybe that's where I belong, where I should go.

[If you could go back, what would you change?]

"I… I…"

I bit my lips; of course, there are a lot of things I could change.

I would not come here, so I wouldn't get caught in this predicament.

I would have come to another school, so I wouldn't live around the epicenter of the disaster.

I would have been a better person, be someone that doesn't laze around wallowing in self-pity.

I would change everything.

But, that wouldn't… be me, right?

Then what about me just running away? Just that, I…

I have run enough from my sins; I have trapped myself in an endless cycle of uselessness and…

Most importantly…

"I wouldn't change anything, because of the people I have saved, if I weren't there, would they die in my place."

I say with anger. Shit, I can't do that to another person, I have my pride, I own the shit I do.

I am not a good person at all, just that I can't exchange the life of others for my own.

[…]

[You are crazy]

"So, what!?"

I cry with tears of regret. Of what I did, what I'm doing.

Nothing can change the idiot that I am, I know I should try as much to live, even if this is a hallucination. Shouldn't I try to live as long as I can? Or shouldn't I just accept my death as the sinner that I am?

[Why?]

"Because this was my choice."

And I regret that choice, but if there's anything that I learned in my life… is to take responsibility.

The only one that should suffer for my actions is myself.

[You are not worthy]

"I know."

That's the reply I give at the same time that the ashes blind my eyes till I don't have any tears left.

[You are selfish]

"I have hurt so many people just by existing."

[Yet…]

"…?"

[I want to save you… why?]

"Are you a fool?"

A laugh comes out of my mouth as I lie on the floor. Pieces of the roof start falling towards me, some are dangerously close to my face.

Maybe if I had enough energy left, I would have been able to free myself, but I don't.

Maybe if I would be able to left someone behind, I wouldn't be left behind by others, but I'm not able to.

[I will regret]

"Then don't do it or take responsibility. Own it."

But I'm not saying that to the strange letters in front of me.

[Why did you have to be here at this exact moment? Just a few minutes later and I wouldn't have to doubt myself so much]

"You ask the impossible. I am just a human."

[You, yes… indeed, you are just a human.]

[That is why…?]

[Do you want to live?]

"No, if someone dies in my place, not at all. I would hate it; I don't want to be a bigger burden of what I am."

And maybe, just maybe, that's for the best, I hate living.

[No, but you will have to be burdened by the heaviness of a world, or even more yet.]

"Heh, I'm not able to. That would only mean…" and a fit of coughing interrupts me.

My voice doesn't come out anymore, the smoke has filled my lungs so much that I am amazed that I am still alive.

So, I just gaze at the sky in a daze, hellish and red, as if it were claiming for blood on this day. Maybe it indeed is.

[Only mean what?]

That I would be responsible for the life of a lot of people, a world… I can't take it.

Because I am useless.

[But you saved people]

Then take it… take it as if I were a shooting star, fading as I fall to the ground, shinning the brightest just before…

A giant piece of the building is falling towards me, so I only close my eyes.

"I will die…"

[Please, I don't want you to die]

Then…

T-then… let me live.

[Wish accepted, calling to the chronology of the universe. The throne of myths has been granted access.]

[Looking for a suitable hero]

[Hero encountered]

[Congrats, you have been assigned as Atlas, your job is to guard life, guide life, take the burden of life]

[Gacha A Life]