Stupid armour

Norm was a 19-year-old teenager who lived with his loving parents. Unlike most teens, he had a close bond with them and supported them in every way he could. He was especially excited to have a baby sister soon, as his mother was pregnant and due any day now. He couldn't wait to meet her and be a good brother to her.

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But then, everything changed. Without any warning, he vanished from his home. He was no longer on Earth.

He woke up in a bright white space, lying on a soft surface. He looked around, bewildered and scared, and shouted for his mom, his dad, or anyone who could hear him. But no one answered. He felt alone and helpless.

After what seemed like an eternity, he saw a bright yellow light above him. He squinted his eyes and saw a pair of fair-skinned plump thighs and a pair of white panties with golden details. He also saw a blonde woman with golden wings descending slowly towards him.

Norm: Damn.

The woman opened her eyes and said, "I know, I know. Be quiet for a bit, I'll—"

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Norm: ....?

"Eh…? You're not asking questions?" The woman said with a puzzled expression.

Norm: Eh… I do? But I mean… all this weird shit happening right before my eyes, so I tried to make sense of it and calm myself down, just in case I was in a mental disorder state. Anyway, who are you? A goddess? And where am I?

The woman looked a bit disappointed. She pouted and said, "Yeah… Hmph. I'm a goddess and I teleported you from another dimension or another world, if you prefer."

Norm: Ah… I see… Hm…

He lay's back down, closing his eyes.

Goddess: What are you doing?

Norm: Waiting to wake up.

Goddess: Do you really think this is all a dream?

Norm: I mean, what else could it be? I've been watching a lot of fantasy shows lately, so I might have some mental health issues to be having this kind of dream.

The goddess sighed and used her supernatural powers to make Norm stand up forcefully. "What did you do?!" Norm exclaimed in a shocked voice.

Goddess: I used magic.

Norm: Huh… Really? Wow… 😮

Goddess: You don't believe me, do you?

Norm: (-_-;)

In a blink of an eye, a strong gust of wind slashed right beside Norm's right cheek and he felt a sting. He touched his cheek and saw some blood.

Norm looked terrified. He realized that this wasn't a dream.

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The goddess then healed Norm's cheek with a gentle touch.

Goddess: Ehm, now that you realize this is reality, let me briefly explain to you why I teleported you here.

Goddess: There's this other world full of magic and mysteries, but then there was a bad aura coming out from a certain someone and as time went on, he wreaked havoc (BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH)

Goddess: Hey! Are you even listening?

Norm: Holy… shit… Don't use the word "briefly" if you're telling a whole damn story…

The goddess's eyes fumed with flames. Norm noticed and quickly said, "Ehm, so in short, the world you're taking care of has an evil demon lord and out of all the people, I had the most potential in becoming a hero. Right? So you chose me to defeat the demon lord before he wreaks more havoc on the world."

Goddess: Ohoh, I'm impressed that you actually listened.

Norm: Ahaha, of course I'd listen… 'I really wasn't… It was just a lucky guess that what she was blabbering about is the same plot of a show I've watched…'

Goddess: Anyways! Since you know the full context of it, I will now transport you to that world and I will provide you with some of my holy magic and also the ability to understand any languages! Good luck, hero! And may the world rest in your hands!

Norm: Wait, w-----

Before he could speak out, he immediately passed out. And boom, he was now reincarnated into a noble family. He just opened his eyes and saw lights coming from chandeliers.

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'Holy… That goddess didn't tell me any info about what to fu*king do…'

Heyme: "Oh! Look, honey, our baby is making expressions!"

Nerl: "Aww, he's so cute!"

Nerl: "What should we name him?"

Heyme: "Hmm, what about Norm?"

Nerl: "Oh! That's a wonderful name, honey!"

'wow....'

'Ah… I'm a baby again… with my memories still intact… WHAT THE–'

Norm: "WAAHHH WAHHH WAHHH"

Heyme: Woopsie, looks like you need some breast milk.

'WHAT?! NOOOO, I'm nineteen!! I DO NOT CONSE-- MUFFLE MUFFLE MUFFLE!!!'

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Heyme: Mmm...… this little boy is so energetic getting his milk, hehe.

'Disgusting!!!…'

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Norm: SIGHHH, IT'S BEEN 8 YEARS!!!

'Ugh… It's been 8 years since my reincarnation and nothing good has happened!! Ughh!! That dumb goddess didn't give me a single clue or hint about what to do!!! She said kill the demon lord, but I have no idea how to do that!! I wasn't even born with powerful talents like my siblings! And I don't have a clue where the demon lord is!!'

He was ranting to himself when his father, Nerl, walked up to him and told him that he would be going to school this month.

Norm: Excuse me, what…?

Nerl: You'll be going to school, my son! A very prestigious and famous school! It's a school filled with knights and mages where you can learn various skills!

Norm: Right… Ahaha, funny joke, father…

Nerl: (⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)…

• • •

Two hours later, Norm was forcefully sent to the academy.

In the grand field of the academy, there was an enrollment speech from the principal of the academy. "Hear me, children, for this school will bring you all great knowledge for the future to come! BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH"

It was all too quick for Norm that he couldn't even process it. After an hour in the academy, he was already met with a strange woman in front of him holding a long sword.

'Hah… What the hell… When… How… Where… Did it all go wrong…'

Norm looked around his surroundings and saw all kinds of students and teachers staring at him. He quickly guessed that this was a duel, but he had no idea what the context was, since he had blanked out the moment he entered the academy.

Without wasting any time, the green-haired girl lunged towards him and tried to slash off his head. But Norm ducked down and swept her leg with his foot, making her lose her balance. She fell down, but before Norm could do anything, she used wind magic to pull herself back up.

'Huff… Huff… So she's a swordmage? What the hell… And what's with… Girls wearing armour that only covers their breasts and private areas… The rest of their skin is literally exposed… Her belly and back… What… Is this logic…'

The girl saw Norm's confused expression and ASSUMED he was shocked by what she had done. Her ego got the best of her and she shouted, "Hey, skinny kid! I'm going to let you hit me once and if you can damage me, I'll be your servant!"

Norm: Huh… No, but–--

Vey: No buts! And my name is Vey! Gruvmentruotim Vey!

Norm: Huh…'What the hell is that name?'

Vey: Now come! Come and try to pierce through this armour!

She started to chant some magic. "Unbreaking unpeircing metal magic!" Her armour started to glow.

Vey: Now co— Cough… Cough… COUGH… W-What… H-How…

A short dagger had stabbed her.

She looked down and saw that Norm had stabbed her on her belly button.

Norm: Woops… I broke one of the "main character codes".

Vey: pfak yu.....

She then collapsed to the ground and an emergency medical team came right away.

Norm: Damn… This is why women shouldn't wear revealing armour, 'cause even if they have some magic on their armour, their skin doesn't… Hah…