4 Chapter Four : Is It Wrong To Want Stupid Old Shit?

We spent three days, in and out of each other's apartments. I would lie in bed and watch him walk around naked, because that's all I wanted to fucking look at ok?

He was hot. And the best fuck I've ever had in my entire life. He tells me he just turned 25.

25. What was I doing when I was 25? I honestly can't remember. Weird.

On Monday morning , I m back home alone with a shitlist. My boss wants to fuck up my week , with projects no one cares about anymore.

Mentally I wasn't ready to get back to work. I was replaying all my weekend sexperiences over and over again.

I missed MBG. Sort of.

By the time I was done with project no one gives a fuck- I realized it was 6 pm.

I was going to miss my HIIT class. I checked my phone and scanned for messages.

Nothing from MBG.

Hey , kinda miss you . Are you at the park?

I could see that he read my message but he didn't respond back.

For some reason, I didnt feel like joining the HIIT session today. A part of me didnt want to see him around others and the other part.. wanted to ride his dick until the next morning.

He didnt respond back that day.

The next day, when I dragged myself to the park, he was absent.

"oh, he had some online exams or something " TDUFHG was talking to some girl.

So he had exams? He wasn't avoiding me?

I went home with a strange feeling that he was. I text him

Hey , are you ok? You are not avoiding me right ?

He takes a while to respond.

No. Just been really busy.

Ok. Cos it seemed like you were ignoring me.

No response.

.. like you are right now? Because it was all just sex right ? My temper was flaring as I typed.

I can see him typing a long message. I brace myself.

Look, whatever happened it was what we both wanted. We were stuck in a moment and it was good. I have a lot going on right now. My work and exams that I keep failing, its just all so frustrating. I also have a girlfriend, but she is quarantined in the capital. Its been a really long shitty 6 weeks. I hope you understand.

Stuck in a moment.

Girlfriend.

Shitty 6 weeks.

I don't even know how to respond anymore. What was I thinking?

It takes me one week to get over his assholery. I feel ashamed , angry, hurt, betrayed and dumped all at the same time.I push all my sensitive shitty feelings deep inside and focus on wallowing. I ate a huge tub of ice cream , 5 bags of cheetos and 20 bars of twix in just 3 days.

No one cares right? Right.

Sometimes I wonder.. is it wrong to want nice shit? Like going on a date with someone you like? And not fuck it up with casual sex?

What's wrong with wanting all the old shit?

Long text chats , spotify playlist sharing , holding hands.

Remember this shit? Pepperidge farm remembers.

I carry my frustration and run to the other side of town, because I wanted to avoid the park. Its not like I can go back to my old route anyway. Neither can I go back to Ryan's. Oh boy. I really fucked this one up. Thank you for taking that away from me too motherfucker . My angry spotify playlist was on fire. Heavy metal FTW.

I wasn't looking around so I was startled when someone running beside me, tapped my shoulder. I almost punched the tapper.

It was TDUFHG.

Oh god you startled me

Sorry! He looked terrified.

No no I am sorry. I thought some weirdo was trying to grab my ass.

He laughs , flashing me irresistible dimples .

Oh .. wait.. Was he not the reason I joined that stupid HIIT shit to begin with?

MBG has a girlfriend my inner voice screams.

Why don't you come for our sessions now?

Oh, just work and stuff. Really busy.

Ok , was hoping to see you though. Anyway catch you later ?

More dimples .

He heads off with a thumbs up and I wonder what that is for.

I ended up fucking the wrong guy. Only to get blown off because he was "busy"

I head back home and seethe in anger.

Dont tease TDUFHG with your irresistible charm?

My ass. Who the fuck was he to tell me who to not fuck? When he was cheating on his girlfriend? Douche.

I check TDUFHG's instagram and try to remember the last time i did. Time to move the fuck on.

I text him and boldly ask if he wants to hook up.

Are you serious? An instant reply

Are you?

I am if you are.

Do you wanna come over ?

Now??

Why ..?are you busy with your 12th grade shit?

I am 21. Lol

21. Jesus.

He is a child. My inner voice was scolding me.

21 is legal. Shut up.

He knocks on my door exactly 30 minutes later.

This is wrong.

So so wrong.

What kinda mood are you in? He asks me

Could he tell I was pissed?

In a mood to fuck ? I tell him and kiss him hard. We move to my room and he swiftly takes off my top and his. ( er.. wow. That was super swift like .. how even)

I look at his chiseled abs and gasp. Just like in his photos. So defined. So fucking defined.

He then says he forgot to bring a condom after frantically checking his pockets.

"Erm, hang on." I reach over to my bedside drawer and take one out. He then struggles to put it on and looks at me , embarrassingly.

Oh god.

I quickly help him and he enters me in a rush. The whole tryst takes a good 15 minutes and he orgasms , even before I get in sync.

This is why we don't fuck teenagers my inner voice was being a bitch.

That was intense he says.

I nod awkwardly as he gets dressed. I wasn't in a mood to talk and neither was he.

After he leaves, I sit on the bed and pull my legs closer to my chest and sigh.

There goes my angry sex.