18 Hatred in My Heart

Last smile ...

The time has shown at 5 o'clock in the morning, it seems this self cannot bear to have to wake Antoni this early, because I know, I think he could only sleep 3 hours ago. I tried to approach it slowly,

I looked at his face that was fast asleep on the bench waiting room, I stroked his hair slowly, and I will not smile I feel like I cheated myself, honest in my heart, I am proud to get it, who does not know Antoni, he is a guy who is always being sought after every girl in school, the sole successor in his family, it turns out he chose me instead and he loved me really seriously, there have been many treatments that he proved to me, sometimes I will be ashamed of him because from the beginning he was with me, his life became messy, his sleep hours became chaotic, his school became messy, all because he was always with me, and this all happened because there were so many problems that I had to face, and he always tried to be there for me.

I saw Antoni still fast asleep, I tried to brave myself, I brought my face close to him, and I kissed Antoni's forehead and whispered words in his ears.

"Antoni ... thank you ... for all this"

Suddenly Antoni opened his eyes and said to me,

"Anjani, don't ever try to stay away from me, promise me ..." Antoni's voice surprised me, apparently he knew what I was doing.

It blushes my face because it's ashamed of him. Antoni holds my hand, his eyes continue to look at me, waiting for the answer that comes out of my mouth ..

"God ... what should I say to him?"

I asked in my heart, and prayed that I would not hurt him.

"Antoni, you didn't go to school? I'm afraid your father will get angry with us, I'm afraid Antoni?" I tried to change the subject.

"Anjani, please answer me first ....."

Antoni kept looking at me asking for certainty from me.

I can't change the subject. It's a bit difficult if Antoni already has the will, His determination was hard as what stone he wanted he should get.

"Huuuuffff ....." I sighed, trying to be as calm as possible against Antoni. I don't want words to be wrong that hurts him.

"Antoni, As long as time allows us to be together, that's how long I will always be by your side, living a life full of stories of both joy and sorrow with you"

Finally, I answered Antoni's question, trying as wisely as possible to compose my words because I did not want to hurt him. Antoni stood up, he held my hand to walk towards the glass divider between the room of mama and us.

"Anjani, I swear, as long as I'm still breathing I will take care of you and talk to you "

Antoni embraced and said the words that really made me afraid of him. Afraid that everything that will happen does not match what he expected.

Because his desire is so great can make it a weapon to be fallen and fragile.

"Antoni, you go to school today, don't worry I'll wait for you here ..." with a smile I asked Antoni to go to school.

I don't want Antoni's family to judge me as a destructive girl for him.

"Ok, I'll go to school first, then after school I'll come here again" Antoni's answer made me calm a little because he wanted to do what was best for him.

Antoni kissed my forehead then he left me and mama.

I hope today I am allowed to come in to see mama up close, I want to kiss your hands and feet, I will never leave mom again. Right now my endless regret is leaving home leaving mom, because I think the way I took is to unite the two of them, and the result ...

is just my stupidity. I looked at my cellphone many times, because I hoped there was good news from the Police. yaaa ... the news of my father's arrest is a gift from me to mama, because my determination is to make dad suffer all his life.

My eyes, I can not see anymore, I will also feel drowsiness,

"Hooooaaamm ..., it's better to sleep before they come to pick me up" My sleepiness is no longer restrained.

I felt my head sleep in a very soft and comfortable place, not as hard as I started to lean my head on the waiting bench,

I moved my body position, and I opened my eyes ...

"Gosh .. !! Antoni, when will you come" I shouted to Antoni, my eyes glaring in surprise because it turns out I slept on his lap. deserve my head to feel comfortable, it turns out he put my head on his thigh, and I do not feel it.

"It's really like I'm sleeping," I muttered to myself.

"Hahahahahah ... don't be surprised, your eyes look like ghosts!" Antoni said, wrinkling his forehead.

"I saw you are too tired and sound, it's natural because you didn't sleep all night. Let's eat first, from morning you haven't eaten yet" Antoni really paid attention to me, I feel honored if he's always like this.

"Antoni took me home, right? I want to change clothes and someone wants me to look there."

this time I asked Antoni to be able to help me, yeah ... My decision this time was not playing anymore.

I felt I got a wangsit in my sleep earlier, but I need help from Antoni and maybe Antoni's dad too.

but after I saw my first target.

"What's up? Why do you look so serious on your face?" Antoni asked me.

"Later, when I get to my new home, I'll tell you"

I said to Antoni.

I know for sure Antoni is curious about what I want to do. but this is all I have to do. because if not immediately, all this will be taken papa. After finishing eating I also said to Antoni

"Antoni, let's go home first ... because I'm afraid I'll come later"

I grabbed Antoni's hand so that he would immediately take me home.

"Antoni, sorry if I was late to ask you this, how was school? What about UAS?"

even though there were many problems that I had to face I didn't forget having to think about UAS, because that was one of the paths to my future.

"Anjani, what plans are you going to play right now?"

the question that came out of Antoni's mouth suddenly shocked me, said Antoni said very straightforwardly and firmly, this was all because he really knew me, he knew if I had a new plan.

"First I want to see my house letter, if my beliefs are correct, then I will sell the house!"

I answer Antoni's question.

" What ....! " Antoni was surprised to hear my decision.

"Why do you want to take this action, what exactly is Anjani?" Antoni asked for an explanation from me.

"Later when I get home, I will ask for your help" with a smile I answered Antoni.

Traveling home this time, was a little bit anxious for me, because I felt Antoni was driving a high-speed car. I don't know what and why because he drove a car like this. does he want to get to my house immediately, or because he thinks my decision is getting mad because of being carried away by revenge, or is there another reason in his mind this time ...

I could only be silent and occasionally looked at Antoni, there was not a word that I was able to say to Antoni other than to wait until the destination, namely my house. Arriving home without hesitation I ran to open the door and said to Antoni.

"Antoni, if you want to drink, take it yourself ... I want to take a shower first, it helps me to randomize the contents of this house ok! "

"Anjani, what were you dreaming about? Why did you become like this?" I saw Antoni's face full of question marks towards me, making me even more happy to play question marks on him.

I let Antoni wait in confusion and ask his heart, maybe he thought, Anjani who is now increasingly crazy and full of revenge. I will also laugh if it's really in Antoni's mind. Truly, all this happened because of the circumstances that changed me and daddy ...

Papa was the first person to make me like this, he taught me with his behavior and actions. Then all this is only for papa, there will be no more smiles and laughter for papa. there is only hatred and anger at my father.

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