19 Forgive Me Maa...

I don't know what the devil is in my soul and mind, I rushed through my house, looking for a letter, which I will use to take revenge on my father, I am totally blind in heart and soul, I'm blind to my father, I don't want him happy over the suffering and tears of my mom.

I continued to search for the letter, until I found it.

"Anjani, the police are calling me, they want to tell you that your father has been arrested!" Antoni suddenly approached me. With a scared face, Antoni told me about my father.

There was no remorse in my heart, when I heard the news about my father, in fact I felt my soul was empty now and no longer felt stuffy.

"Good for you! My first hope is over, now my second wish remains, which I must complete."

With pride in my heart, I said to Antoni. Antoni just looked at me with a sad look.

"Anjani, why are you like this?" Antoni looked at me and asked in a disappointed tone.

"Don't be like this Anjani, I'm afraid you will change and can't go back to the way it used to be ..."

Antoni approached me and his hand held my shoulder, he already felt the difference that was happening in me, sometimes I realized why I was like this, but this hatred had changed my life and the path to my future.

I turned my body from before Antoni, I tried not to ignore it, but I was still trying to find the letter again.

"Anjani"

Antoni quickly turned my body and he hugged me, he hugged me tightly as if he would not let me go. I felt Antoni's hug so touched my soul,

This hug is the hug I am looking for, the hug that makes my tears drip, I want to cry at will in this hug, this is what I need, this is a time when I am really fragile and broken, between me feeling full of guilt, and feeling filled with revenge.

Antoni continued to hug me, he let his shoulder wet from the tears, he saw me in my ignorance and lack.

"Anjani, cry ... cry as you wish, pour out all your hatred and anger"

Antoni said quietly in my ear. He really gave me a place in one part of his body to release my emotions that are not controlled right now.

For a long time I cried in the arms of Antoni, until I felt, even though these tears turned to blood, my way of life would not change.

"Antoni, please help me find this house's letter"

My crying stopped and I told Antoni that he would help me.

"What for?" Antoni also asks me.

I invited Antoni to sit next to me and explain all my wishes.

"Antoni, I want to sell this house, I want to take this house first before you take it"

Antoni looked back at me curiously.

"What is Anjani for? Is this all because of your mother's hospital fees! If this is for your mother's medical expenses, I have called my father to pay for everything until your mother gets better!"

Antoni said to me in an angry tone and the words Antoni said suddenly made me stand in front of Antoni because I never thought Antoni would do that.

"Antoni ... why do you want to help me like this ..."

I told Antoni in a low voice, and I would kneel weakly in front of Antoni. Really I never suspected that Antoni would do something like this.

The more Antoni gives me help, the more debt I owe him, and makes me fall into his circle of love.

"Antoni ... why don't you ask me first, I can solve all this ..., I want to sell this house, not only to pay for my mother's medicine, but also so that I don't take and control this house, money from me can use the proceeds from the sale of this house to buy a small house and for my small business with mama "

with tears in my eyes, I said to Antoni, because I didn't know what else to say with him.

"Anjani, I love you ... I love you ...!"

for the umpteenth time Antoni hugged me again and held my hand tightly.

"You might think about me, but I beg you never consider my love"

With eyes that seemed to come to talk to me, Antoni confirmed his sincerity to me. Only my tears can reveal everything. My hopes are scattered and messy, like the contents of my house that no longer know its shape ..

I looked around me, books scattered everywhere, clothes that came out of where they were scattered everywhere. a table and a bench somewhere where my house must be scrambled by a thief. My feelings are chaotic, do not know what else should I ....

"Anjani, let's go to the hospital, enough today we will look for the letter ..." Antoni's invitation confused my soul.

"Yes ..! Forget mama! Come on Antoni ... come on!"

I also rushed to leave my house that is no longer in shape. Antoni's steps suddenly stopped and asked me.

"Anjani, may I ask?"

"No, I don't want to see dad in the POLICE office!"

I will firmly answer questions from Antoni. I know what Antoni is thinking, since the beginning Antoni gave me news about papa, I was not at all interested in asking it. for me it was enough to know that my father was in prison. I saw Antoni who began to surrender to me, there were no more questions about my father coming out of his mouth. The way to the hospital this afternoon was very smooth, it seemed that violet twilight had begun to appear before me, and the lights neatly arranged along the edge of the road began to show its light. I looked next to me, Antoni, who was silent for a long time, made me try to seduce him.

"Antoni, don't be mad ... give me a little smile from you .. if you smile is sweet and handsome, you should know that ... " in a somewhat presumptuous tone I tried to seduce her. Antoni's left hand touched my cheek and he said,

"Anjani, I will always be by your side, whatever your problem is, that is my problem too"

Antoni's words always make me calm and feel able to in every problem that I face, He made me unable to escape from him anymore. The longer I feel the love that is so great for me. Make me afraid of losing or separating from him later. In this heart, my belief to always be with him actually never existed.

Because I will go to bring mama from this place. I will go where no one recognizes me and Mama.Start my life and redeem all my mistakes to Mama.

I want to apologize to Mama.

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