19 " Rejection and Finding"

" I love my rejection slips. They show me I try"

-Sylvia Plath

Sam POV

Kneeling in front of her, I felt that I could finally be with her. I wanted her to know that how I really felt and there was no physical entity that could portray how much I loved her. I was ready to be with her and all I wanted to do was to take care and protect her so that she could be happy. I had no experience on loving and confessing to someone. And there had been no one where I could show my vulnerability so it was kind of exciting yet nervous. I gazed onto those beautiful eyes and said those three words that I always wanted to say; she stood with a blank expression. Without a single word she turned towards the main entrance and headed towards it. I knew that her gesture meant rejection but I couldn't acknowledge it. I ran after her and held her slim wrist and turned her towards me. I asked her how she felt but the only thing that I could get was her apology and those same comforting word of how I would be blessed with another person who would be thousand times better than her. We failed to understand on both side; I failed to understand the rationality in her comforting word because if there was someone better than her then I would have never confessed and on another side what she failed to know was that no one was thousand times better than her.

I couldn't withstand the awkward silent existing between us but one thing was clear to me that this rejection was never an ending but a new beginning for my new story; the new chapter of us. I had a chance and working hard was what I should be doing from now. I smiled at her as if nothing happened between us and headed towards the mansion. The night was dark and dangerous and the road was lonely and risky, I couldn't send her away to be faced with difficulty so I asked her to stay for the night. She hesitated for while but after some reasoning she agreed to my request.

I had already prepared a room and actually it was my mother's room.

My mother was a special person and she had that clairvoyance that could predict a person's sorrow. She would always understand me impeccably and trusted me truly. Whenever I was sad and lonely she would treat me to cotton candies and take me for walk and those where the beautiful times when laughter became my best friend. So I had decided that when I meet my perfect half I would definitely introduce to her so that I could share the same joy I was feeling. But this dream was left as a wingless as i was now; empty and unfulfilled. Still then I wanted to share something of her with Elisa so to ensure me that I did fulfill some part of my dream.

The room was large and the wall was painted blue. My mom used to like blue as she believed that it provided her with tranquility. In the center there was a king sized bed layered with a comfy mattress and draped around with a classic and royal blue blanket. Beside the bed was her dresser table filled with her makeup stuffs and favorite perfumes. She would always make me sit on the chair while she combed my hair and styled it beautifully. I still remember her champagne mimosa scent that she loved the most. Her wardrobe was compact and her dress segregated in accordance to specific functions. Sophistication and perfection was what described her.

Elisa stood dumbfounded when she saw the room; I dragged her inside and explain clearly what was there in each corner so that she could be comfortable. She was surprised when I told her that it was my mother's room and as expected she refused to stay in the room but after some argument she conceded and decided to stay.

I left her room so that she could get some rest and headed towards my room. My room was cold and arctic; with the air con back the room was back with its warm. I was reading through an alliance document when my butler John came to inform me about his finding. After much hectic and complex search, he was finally backed to square one and I couldn't let him escape again without answering my questions.

I uttered his name, "Joseph," for the third time but he was unconscious to reply to it. The room was frigid with the tint smell of blood. He was bloodied; he looked as if he would not live pass midnight. I stood beside him; he had lost so much weight from the last time I have seen. His jaws were more chiseled and his cheek bone stood prominent in his face. He had stumble of beard and scars occupying his body. He looked pitiful and I really wanted to empathize with him but after what he did to me I couldn't bring forth to help him.

I asked one of my men to bring a bucket of cold water; after splashing that cold water on his frigid body, it brought him back to reality. He looked at me with that stern expression and I replied him with a hard expression. I asked him about the whereabouts of the murderer of my parents but he refused to answer me. I gave him a hard blow on his stomach as he coughed hard, once was never enough as I continuously kicked him with all my might until John stopped me. I gave him a stern look warning him that if he didn't give me what I wanted then I could really end his life.

I exited the room and headed towards Elisa room so to make sure she was okay with everything. I was engrossed thinking about how to tackle the situation standing in front me when I bumped on to someone. I looked up to expect a maid but to my astonishment it was Elisa. She was breathing hard as if she had been chased, she looked scared and surprised but those expressions were all out when she saw me. She just faked a smile and without a word ran upstairs. I was puzzled with her action; there must be something that urged her to act that specific way. I headed upstairs to inquire but her room was shut tight, I couldn't disturb her so I decided to ask her tomorrow.

"Her hands roamed freely on my chest as she flirtatiously moved closer to me; her eyes radiating with childish act and her smile rising brightly. She nibbled my pathetic ear and whispered something which was inaudible, those soft breath sent shivers down my spine and I tried my best to control the urge to touch her. She continued to torture me with her giggles and flirtatious act. She looked amazing with that entire angelic aura surrounding her and that's when she laughed melodically and ran around me. I tried to reach her but she drifted further away, she ran faster without turning back and I just had run so that I could catch her. After running for some time we entered a pitch black area, and she happened to disappear completely. I called her name but she is nowhere to be seen. Panic got me as I searched her everywhere; I didn't know what to do until I heard a loud noise."

The dream was sweet yet bitter, I was happy to be approached but I couldn't bear the thought of losing her. I checked for the time and proceeded towards the washroom for my daily toilet activity. After grabbing my favorite denim jeans with a checkered shirt, I headed towards the dining lounge.

The breakfast was served as usual but the entire atmosphere felt serene and warm. She was busy devouring her plate and I was busy gazing her dreamingly. This was the best breakfast I had after my parents death. I couldn't ask her to stay with me because I knew deep inside that she felt uncomfortable with my sudden confession yet due to her kindness she couldn't reject my invitation. I knew that she had that obligation that she should accept my request of so that it would lessen her guilt of rejecting me. I didn't want to impose on her so I asked my driver to drop her to the college and I didn't know that would be the last time I would see her.

Joseph was tough, even after loads of pressure and physical torture he didn't budge an inch. He resembled no less than a dead person yet his stubbornness and sternness never left him. His eyes swollen, lips bruised and his body filled with blood stain, he looked pitiful and deplorable. I knew that if I was to continue torture him then he wouldn't survive, I asked all my man to go out as approached him. I sat nearby him and started to tell him about all the beautiful memories we shared.

He did betrayed my parents but he was always good to me and deep inside he considered me as his own brother and I knew I had to use that soft spot to urge him to spill the beans. I had to make him trust me one more time and assure him that I wouldn't hurt him anymore. I reiterated all those times when we would go for fishing and how he would give me the fish he caught so that I wouldn't cry anymore. We would play race and bet on candies so that whoever wins the race was to get all the candies. Older days were admirable and I really wished that we could become a family again.

He was silent for a long time and I moved closer to him, I touched his face so that he could face me. He was surprised by my action and I could see tears pooling in his eyes. I was sad too but I couldn't let that sadness get me. I mustered up my courage and held him in an embrace. He struggled a bit but after sometimes he stopped and taking this as a cue I asked him to tell me something on the matter. He hesitated for a bit and I could sense that he was juggling whether to or no to share the information with me. I squeezed his hand hard so to usher him that I was always with him and that he could completely trust me. After a while later he moved towards my ear and whispered, "The drawer next to the picture in dad's room" and he fainted.