14 Her Secrets

A silence held the room hostage between Freya and I. The daze of her, I longed to never return from, had lifted and I had been left with the consequences of it. Though, I couldn't say I cared for them much in this moment. That nagging press that told me I had made a big fuck up was silenced...it was overwritten with the her reaction.

I had been unsure how to word the reaction I felt, and no words I thought of could express it.

"Sorry but..." I bit my lip as my tone rose to borderline defensive, "Is there something wrong with being a lesbian?"

Freya's eyes caught unto my own, inching wider. Her hand grasped her arm, stoking it in a nervous manner. "Um no, no. That isn't what I meant!" Those eyes of hers diverted from my own, seeking elsewhere. They settled upon a high raised, rectangular window to the left of her.

"What. Do. You mean?" I further urged her in an unpleased tone.

That hadn't been what she meant? I tried to reason with myself, attempting to see another point of this conversation that wasn't my own. I hadn't wanted to be angry with her, yet in the moment, I wasn't sure of what I wanted at all anymore. All I knew was... she wasn't being honest with me. Either that or she wasn't being honest with herself. And that stung me.

This wasn't a girl experimenting.

A heavy laced sigh escaped her lips. Her eyes met mine. My anger vanished. A clump of air caught into my throat upon noticing the sadness grasping those blue orbs. An attempt of a smile, that lifted up the corner of her lips, made its appearance...only to be washed away in a second's notice.

"Lacey... It's awesome you like girls. Like however the heck you want... it's fine for anyone to be but me to..." her finishing words caused me only more confusion.

"What..." my mind shifted into a black state, "What does that mean?"

"Just promise me--this stays between us," her eyes avoided mine as her hand fell from her arm. I never witnessed Freya with such a serious tone that seemed to wish for better than what she could say.

I fumbled with the tips of my fingers. Attempting to even process this situation had become more than I had bargained for. "I better go," I mumbled off.

"That's probably best..." Freya voice came as low as a whisper, her eyes never met mine.

Leaving that room, I paused at the door frame. Freya idled in the same position. I couldn't help but wonder what she had been thinking. Her head shifted so her eyes could not be seen by mine. Had I somehow pushed her too far? All I had left were questions, confusion and a list. A list of what I was supposed to do:

I was supposed to be O'Conner's wing girl.

I was supposed to get close to her.

I was supposed to only tease her.

I was supposed to not care.

But I could strongly guess she hadn't left the spot she stood in even after I was long gone.

Coffee Shop

The Next Day

"Y-you what?!" Jayla gabbed loudly, unsettling the peaceful atmosphere of the people that were nearby us.

"Shhh!" I instinctively slapped a hand over her mouth, leaning over the tabletop that separated us. I eyed her unpleasantly. Jayla caused her eyes to roll, and then motioned to the hand that covered her mouth. I removed it in a slow manner, not tearing my eye contact from her.

"Really?" she spoke as her arms went to a cross against her chest, and her back went further back into the sofa she sat in.

"Yes really," I snapped quickly, "I don't need O'Conner finding out I kissed the girl he wants to get with."

"I told you," Kayla spoke in a matter of fact tone, "She seemed your type."

Now it had been my turn to roll my eyes. I slumped backwards into the couch opposite of her in an annoyed response. "Great. So I'm attracted to her."

Kayla merely shook her head in a more serious tone. "That's a combination for you to end up liking her."

Kayla was right, though, I'd hate to admit it this time. This was one of the few times Kayla actually had some wisdom to be shared. My hand tangled itself into my hair as my finger rang through the strands and found its way over the top end of my head.

"Like hell!" Kayla abruptly spoke once more, causing me to give her a side eye in the process, "Sorry... but Freya might be a gay!"

I fought the urge to slap my hand into my face. "Kayla, there's a thing called Bi."

Kayla lifted her shoulders, peering her eyes upward to the ceiling. "I'm just sayin'."