2 CHAPTER 1

"One, two, three, and four, five and six, and seven, and eight, okay one mor-” my eye goes to the stereo when it suddenly stops. Mom’s disappointed eyes welcomed me, I looked at her finger in the stop button of my stereo.

"Dinner is ready. Did you finish all of your home works?" she asked me with her brows are up, she must think that I’m not focusing my studies. If I know, they want to get rid of the practice room too.

"Yes Mom, I already finished it a while ago." I smiled at her while saying that but she didn’t smile back at me. What’s with her now? She walked closer to me then she grabs the towel beside me and wiped all my sweats in my face.

"Okay, let’s go downstairs and Jamie… can you please don't waste your time at dancing. Focus on your studies okay?" here we go again… I’m focusing my studies, I’m not failing besides I’m in college now taking up the course they want for me. I didn’t reply to her so she looks at me.

This is not a waste of time Mom.

I want to tell her that but I don’t have any courage and strength. She realized I don’t want to reply so she gets herself out of the dance room. I watched myself in the big mirror and… I don’t even know who she is.

I quickly clean up my things so I can go down to eat. My name is Jamie Leigh Cullen and I love arts, dancing, drawing and also painting but my parents doesn’t support that stuff, and they want me to be a doctor. They want me to follow their steps I mean- everyone wants me to follow my parents' footsteps, to be a successful doctor here in the country. Florence Cullen, my Dad is one of the best General Surgeons while my Mom, Winnie Cullen is one of the best Neurosurgeons here in the Philippines.

Other people think that my family is perfect. They thought you can define happiness if you are part of my family. But no, it’s a big NO, I know there are many people who are envious with my life and that is because they really know nothing about my life. They just saw us perfect family- parents are great doctors and the daughter is the most obedient daughter that inherits the wits of the parents. You can call me fool but I don’t want this life, I don't have any freedom for myself. I feel like a robot waiting to turn the key behind me to do things. What I want to do is to perform in front of many people while they are shouting and wailing to the wailing music. . I just want that. I don't want any medals, certificates of being a straight A student. Maybe because if I attain that I can get the attention my parents failed to give me. But I can’t disobey my parents, they took care of me, and if not because of them? There will be no Jamie Leigh Cullen here "the responsible daughter" they said.

"Hi Dad, hi Mom." I greeted them when I arrived at the dining area, I kissed their cheeks before I steady myself in the chair.

“Eat now, hija.” My Dad said so I smiled at him and starts eating. After few minutes Dad got my attention when he asked me about his patient.

"Honey, I have a patient. The Px's blood cannot carry as much as oxygen as it should so obviously the patient has an anemia, right?” I nodded after I hear that, he nodded too and continue his question

“Now, the Px's red blood cells are destroyed faster than they can be made. What kind of anemia does my patient have, anak?" he’s looking at me like a strict professor waiting for my answer.

"I think your Px has a Hemolytic Anemia Dad, since sabi mo na the px's RBC are destroyed faster."

"Hmmmm? And what are the causes of it?"

"The known causes of hemolytic anemia Dad, is inherited conditions, such as sickle cell anemia and thalassemia. It also includes stressors dad such as infections, drugs, snake or spider venom, or certain foods." I answered while I eat, I read it so many times, Dad. I still remember how you forced me to read all the medical books inside our library.

He pursed his lips while nodding his head, at the same time slicing the steak in front of him. "Is it curable?"

I put down all the utensils before I answer Dad, "Hemolytic anemia can be lethal Dad. This is the reason why healthcare providers need to carefully check blood types before giving blood. Some causes of hemolytic anemia are temporary. It may be curable if the doctor can identify the underlying cause and treat it."

"Good job hija, I thought you didn’t know that. I think you’re ready for MedSchool and I thought you are not studying well."

"Oh, what do you mean about that Florence? Your daughter would not be a straight A student if she’s not doing well in her studies." Mom chides Dad because of what he said.

"Okay, I trust you. Continue with your food." I gave Dad a forced smile after he said that.

The next day, I go to the school earlier than usual, I want to feel the fogs in my skin in the field. I’m reading a book about my first subject in class when some music caught my attention, the cadence of music wake all my muscle in the body. I glanced at the boy who is dancing at the top of the table. Obliviously, I am staring intently to all of his moves.

It’s so smooth.

As he sways his hips and twist his body I get overwhelmed. I don't know why but I like watching him while he dances. I cough quickly when he suddenly turned his head to me.

"I’m too handsome right?" he said as a sly smile flashed across his face.

Wow. What a boastful man, hmp. I ignored him and continued to read the book. 'Dementia or commonly called childishness is a condition of mental decline-' my reading was cut when I feel him sat beside me his smiling sweetly at me. When I feel his skin touches my skin I suddenly feel the chilliness it brought to me and because of this I quickly put a border between us. Does he know what private space means? I disregard his moves and continued reading.

"Is my smell bad?" he said while he smells himself.

"What the- can you please, stay away from me?" anger was evident in my voice but I’m trying to say it calmly, he ignored my drama and he just look me at the eyes while his lips curves into smiles. Don’t get me wrong okay? I’m not rude but I’m really not comfortable if I don’t know the person.

"Are you great in dancing?"

"No."

"Weh? Why am I thinking you are so great?"

“It’s just all in your mind and your brain is fooling you” I annoyingly told him. But he took me from the chair that made me stoop up.

“Let’s try it, then. I know you danced so well, baby.” Baby? Is he okay, okay me names? Are we even close? No, we are not, so who gave him the right to call me whatever he wants?

I scoffed and rolled my eyes on him, I don’t know why I let him drag me though. When I hear the music, I smile a little I felt happiness in my heart washing all the stress this man gave me earlier. I think, I need to dance right now he didn’t know me though and I don’t know him. The school is big so it’s impossible if I’ll meet him next day right?

‘It’s okay Jamie, your parents are not here. You can have fun.’ I reminded myself.

I carelessly closed my eyes when I hear the music from his stereo. I let a deep sighed when he let go of my hand. The rhythm, melodies came rushing into the inside of my body. I don’t care whatever happens in my surroundings now, the important is how my body reacts to the music. I released a genuine smile while I’m dancing. My eyes were still close feeling the rhythm of the music that goes in every veins all throughout my body. I ended my dance doing The Cabbage Patch dance step and I smirk at him as I open my eyes.

"Wow baby, I thought you didn't know how to dance?" overjoy is all over his face.

“You asked me, I am great and I’m not. I just… know how to move my body” I said shyly while taking steps away from him.

“Where are you going?” he chase me after realizing I tend to get away with him.

“Hmm… classroom? I do have a class.” I forced myself not to look at him rather I keep my attention at the road.

"Okay, see you later baby." He waves his hand at me while smiling. Baby your face, hmp. You wish, I don’t even know you, and I will never, never going to see you again. I mean, I won’t let myself to see you ever again, I might disobey my parents and force the things I want.

He will just make me question my existence here. He will guide me to the wrong path. I know, so it’s forbidden to make our path cross again. Wrong path huh? Jamie, that path is the path you want to take. Yes, that’s what I want but that’s not a must. My pace became slow, I look up in the blue sky and saw some birds flying, and I pitied myself when I realized I’m jealous with a mere bird because they are free. They are free to go to places they want.

The presence of my professor is the reason why I suddenly remove my headset for the last subject for the day, with her eyebrows that looks like a check she intimidates the students. She angrily puts the papers down in the table, I think those are our papers in our quiz last Friday. She frowns while looking at us.

"I'm so disappointed in this class, I spend so many days teaching all of you but only forty-five percent of this class barely passed my quiz?” she said while sitting.

Her eye suddenly goes to meet my eyes, “and there is only one person who got it perfect.”

"Tss, my instinct is correct she’s still the highest."

"Duh? Of course it’s Jamie, she’s born not to fail."

I bow my head and bit my lips when I hear some whispers about me. I really don't want the attention they gave to me. I mean the quiz is easy only if you review, I’m not being arrogant here but it’s History, they should know something about that, right? History is being taught to us from the 5th grade.

Our Professor distributed our papers with disgust on her face when students who failed her quiz get their papers but when my turn came up he smiled at me sweetly. I exchange it with a forced smile.

"F*ck Bro, when are going to pass this subject?"

"HAHAHHAHA that’s okay bro, as long we failed at the same time."

"You bastard, I want to pass this subject badly."

"What if… we ask Jamie if she could teach us?" he whispers to his friend enough so that I can hear it.

I looked at them with a smile in my face after I heard my name.

They scratched their nape and they smiled shyly at me, “Hmm, never mind we can handle it.”

When the Prof bid goodbye ay I quickly put my things in the bag since Manong Raul our driver is already in the parking lot waiting for me. This is my only routine in my 19 years of existence. House- School-House- School and repeat and repeat and repeat. I don’t have any friend and I don’t even have a social life. No one interacts with me, no one even have the gut to get near me. I don’t know, I don’t eat people you know. I exchanges smiles to other people but it just that. If they don’t initiate a conversation, I won’t talk, why? Because, what if they don’t really like to talk to me?

So curiosity is eating me up now because of the boy in the field earlier. He’s the first person who talked to me in this school. And he so bombastic saying he’s handsome.

Tsk, I smiled when I remember what happened earlier.

When I saw Manong Raul beside our car I fasten my pace. He smiled at me and opens the door for me.

“Good afternoon, Miss Jamie.”

“Good afternoon po, Manong. Thank you for picking me up”

“Are we going to go home now, Miss?”

“Yes po, Manong. I don’t have any place to go.” Manong nodded after he heard that and starts the engine.

While the wheels of our car spanning in the middle of the busy road, my attention were caught by the six students laughing in the waiting sheds. They must be friends joking with each other, one of them is the boy I met earlier!

I suddenly remember his moves, wait… why am I thinking him? Am I attracted to him? No way, Jamie, No way! You just admire the way he dances and how he gets my attention, yes that’s it. That’s the reason. The way they laughed… looks like they don’t have any problem, when will be the time when I can laugh like them?

I don’t have any idea when we arrived at the house, I come to my senses when Manong poke my arms. I can’t get rid the faces in my head, especially their smiles.

After I cleaned myself up, I opened my laptop to see if some of our professor posts some activities in our School’s portal. But my world stops after I read the question in my assignment.

Essay. Please answer the following question and write it on your yellow paper to be passed tomorrow.

Are you truly free?

I strongly closed my eyes with a deep sighed, it seems like this is the most difficult question I encountered in my whole life. My mind goes blank and I don’t know how to put my thoughts into words. I think I like it better if I do have a quiz about Theories of Psychology than this. I smiled without a humor, I pitied myself even more when I don’t have any answers. The question left a great impact in my mind. Am I truly free? No, I’ve been living in a cage my parents build for me.

“Because that is a must, that’s what important” I remember when my Mom said that to me.

“In order for you to succeed anak, you have to listen to everything what we told you to do. This will be good for you” I grabbed my pillow and put it in my ears for the reason I kept on hearing my Dad and Mommy’s voice telling me those words again and again.

When will I get out from this cage?