2 Chapter 2: AGONIZING REALITY: MAGGIE

My heart pounded so hard I felt it pulse in my mouth, until Jeffery reached over and began to draw the curtain back to reveal a tinted window, then Shona, my baby sister, was slowly unveiled with every inch the drape retracted.

The first thing I saw was her familiar soft platinum blonde hair. It was swept back from her face - all the way back. Not like she wore it at all. My eyes painstakingly scanned from her face in profile down to her body. Lying completely flat, I noted the contours of her breasts, the dip of her flat belly and the rise again of her thighs covered by the white linen sheet that shrouded her, laid from her neck to the end of her feet.

Instantly, an imprint of her appearance etched forever in my mind as I noted the pale white skin on Shona's unsmiling, yet peaceful face. Taken before her time, even in death, I saw how incredibly beautiful she looked, and my fears of looking at someone who'd died left me. She looked as if she were asleep, but not. And then suddenly it hit me again; my chest walls contracted, and it felt as if all the air was being sucked out of the room. Any denial I had been holding onto left me, and I saw Shona for what she was - lifeless.

I scanned her appearance much closer, memorizing every line. There was a small dark stain at the corner of her mouth and I became fixated by it. My right hand slipped from Jeffery's and I reached out, placing my fingertips on the window close to her hair.

A million jumbled thoughts collided and squeezed through my mind all at once, mainly about Molly's future, and how I would manage to care for her and work fulltime. For a few seconds, I felt incapacitated by all the new legal responsibilities I had to face.

Another huge wave of emotion swept through me and fresh tears fell. The agonizing ache in my heart was even greater than those I had felt when my parents had passed.

Jeffery leaned in, "Do you want me to give you a minute alone, Margaret?"

My head jerked up, and I looked at him in dismay. I didn't. It was the last thing I wanted. In that moment I'd never felt more lonely or afraid. What good would that do? I glanced back to my sister and the sadness I felt was instantly replaced by anger and resentment... resentment she could do this to me... to Molly.

"No. I want to leave now."

Jeffery gave me a thoughtful, deliberate nod, "You have to say it, Margaret. Then we can leave."

I stared at him, ignoring Shona's still body on the other side of the glass. "It's her. That's my sister, Shona." My voice sounded distant, detached, like someone else had said it, but my heart almost broke because I had done my duty.

Identifying Shona had felt like a pointless exercise because it wasn't as if there had been any doubt as to who she was. She had sent all her identification to the management of Fr8Load and after all-the authorities had contacted me.

My sister had been found unconscious in her room with her identification in her back pocket. The initial autopsy findings were death by asphyxiation. Basically, Shona had been doing what she was known for - living life to excess, regardless of her responsibility to her daughter, Molly, whom she had abandoned to seek excitement in the first place. And had left me to take care of my niece.

Even as I stared at Shona in death, my impatience with her festered within, and my mind wandered. For years, I had put up with everyone who knew her making excuses for her personality and personal conduct. 'A free spirit', they said by way of excusing her disregard for rules and social restraints.

No matter what else was going on in the world, Shona always lived her life her way, often ignoring the impact of her actions on others - mostly me. Personally, I loved my sister, but I hated the selfishness of her ways.

Any goodwill I had toward her diminished rapidly the day I arrived home from work to find Molly had been left with our elderly neighbor, Mrs. Richie. All Shona had left me was a hastily written note asking me to take care of her daughter. I had no idea she'd stoop to the new low of abandoning Molly to follow her infatuation with Noah Haxby by joining Fr8Load band's crew as a styling assistant.

My sister's head had always been in the clouds. She'd spent most of her life chasing and stalking the celebrity lifestyle. She was obsessed with one rock star in particular - Noah. God alone knows how she managed to con her way onto his road crew, but I shouldn't have been surprised because she'd have walked to the ends of the earth to be near that man.

Shona was a fantasist and always spoke about the stars she loved like they were personal friends, and it was my bet she left thinking Noah would meet and fall in love with her on sight. From the couple of short emails she had sent after she joined the crew, I knew she was bitterly disappointed.

It was apparent from those communications she had never gotten anywhere near her rock star crush and found her less than glamorous job of Fr8Load's image stylists' assistant dull as dishwater. She was more of a runner, dealing with anything from laundry to sewing and everything else they deemed themselves too qualified to deal with.

A noise in the distance pulled me out of my daydream and back to the sad reality of the situation. Shona's chase for the high life had ended in a very degrading death when she was found blind drunk and choking on her own vomit by another crew member who had accidentally knocked on the wrong door.

Apparently, she was still alive when they found her, but her lungs were so swamped, the medical intervention she had come too late. The roadie in her room with her had been one of the crew she had gotten friendly with. His addiction of choice was Heroin, and because his paraphernalia was strewn around the room, they had initially treated Shona as if she were addicted as well.

As soon as I'd confirmed her identity, Jeffery closed the drape and led me out of the room.