17 in pari delicto

I managed to somehow convince the nurse that I had a biking accident while I was on my way home from the grocery store and I landed on a pole and decided to ignore the pain while biking, she looked like she didn't believe me as they did an ultrasound of my bruised kidney to make sure it was still even functioning in the first place. I winced as the doctors came in and they asked me what was my pain level, at this point the pain was so bad and so horrible that I screamed 

"AGH! TEN! TEN! TEN! AAAAGGHHH FUCK HOLY FUCK!"

I could feel a needle plunge into my skin, holy fuck how I still hated needles to this day because of what happened while I was UC in Narcotics. I let the medicine take its course through my veins and arteries and I let myself slip under. I dreamt of myself standing in a empty waiting room, the walls were lined with red silk curtains and the floor looked zebra striped with black and white tiles striping the floor over and over in a pattern, I saw glittery dust float before me, pulling me, leading me forward down the hallway as I saw the dark shadow grow longer, pulling me towards the infernal darkness, the rectangular dark window, expanded and expanded until it swallowed me whole and then I saw that I was in a different room, I saw people who had left me, were now standing before me, my Fiancée, my brother and my dead father. I had a big lump in my throat as I reached out to grasp them and just like that, they quickly vanished like as if they were never there in the first place. I let out a huge sob and fell onto my hands and knees as I kept sobbing all alone in the punishing darkness. 

I started opening my eyes and blinked slowly as I felt a plastic oxygen mask over my mouth and I could feel needles, literally pressing into my skin, it felt claustrophobic and I wanted to rip them off right now, I saw a doctor walk right in and I asked 

"So what is going on doctor?, please...you have to let me out. I have work to do and cases to solve. Those crooks won't just turn themselves in you know."

The doctor sighed and then told me "You need to calm down Sargent Tucker, what you have been through has been extremely traumatic on your kidneys, and we estimate that you need to be here at least five to six nights, and that is a conservative estimate, however, depending on how long it takes you to heal, it may be necessary for you to do a longer stay here."

I gulped in terror at the sight of medical bills, I still hadn't paid for the medical bills from my first or second stay, the bills were already expensive as hell and insurance was balking about paying for the bills even though I had the salary of a Sargent.

The doctor seemed exasperated and took a deep sigh before pinching his nose and began 

"Sargent Tucker, you do not know of the extent and the seriousness of your injuries, we needed to do emergency surgery on you to repair the tears and stop the bleeding caused by anal trauma that you have suffered. Have you not noticed the periodic bleeding lately?"

I felt ashamed, naked and exposed, as if they were close to exposing my shameful secret and it was absolutely terrifying, to feel cornered like a wounded animal, helpless and unable to fight back, vulnerable and in need of help. I gulped and tried to sound as normal as possible by saying

"I thought it would go away on its own."

"You lost several pints of blood and your blood pressure dropped to a dangerous level. I also have put you on heavy doses of antibiotics to avoid peritonitis and to treat the infected kidney as well as the laceration on your shoulder. There is a possibility that one or both of your kidneys could fail, one from trauma and one from previous damage. We need to monitor to prevent that. We also have taken blood samples for blood tests to test for HIV and STD's, but we still haven't received the results yet. Also, in addition to that, your fever is making it difficult to reduce the dehydration and in addition to your exhaustion, your immune system is overtaxed and exhausted."

I felt horrible all around and sighed as I added "I guess I am in a pretty shitty shape for you to be telling me all of this."

The doctor replied "Shitty isn't a medically appropriate term I would use to describe you, but yes, you are in a very shitty shape. I mean, when was the last time you ate a full and healthy meal Sargent? When was the last time you had more than two hours of sleep?"

I didn't know how to answer that question, I felt like he was not going to like the answer either way as I told him 

"Maybe some granola bars and that was it. I can't remember the last time I've slept because I was so busy trying to bust a ring of sex traffickers headed by a dirty cop. I admit I haven't had time to myself at all."

He then added "Because you have become so dehydrated and severely malnourished, we are putting you on a high caloric liquid diet. It however doesn't come in granola flavor yet."

I winced at the thought of food being forced down my throat, I felt tired and nauseated and I decided to fall asleep, my body dragging me under the dark waves of unconsciousness as I struggled and struggled and soon my eyes fell shut and I could hear someone close the light and shut the door to allow me to sleep. They didn't realize that I was returning to the dream world that I was trapped in, and could see things I wish I never saw.