1 For what reason DO Individuals Need TO LEAVE EACH OTHER?

At the point when I was 17 years of age, I had a fantasy. I envisioned that I was sitting inside a masjid and a young lady approached ask me an inquiry. She asked me, "For what reason do individuals need to leave one another?" The inquiry was an individual one, however it appeared clear to me why the inquiry was picked for me. I was one to get joined. Since the time I was a youngster, this disposition was clear. While different youngsters in preschool could without much of a stretch recuperate

when their folks left, I proved unable. My tears, when set in movement, didn't stop without any problem. As I grew up, I figured out how to

become appended to everything around me. From the time I was in 1st grade, I required a closest companion. As I got more seasoned,

any drop out with a companion broke me. I was unable to relinquish anything. Individuals, places, occasions, photos, minutes—

indeed, even results became objects of solid connection. On the off chance that things didn't work out how I would have preferred or envisioned they ought to, I was crushed. Furthermore, dissatisfaction for me.was certifiably not a normal feeling. It was disastrous. When let down, I never completely recuperated. I would always remember, and

the break won't ever patch. Like a glass container that you place on the edge of a table, when broken, the pieces never entirely fit once more.Anyway the issue wasn't with the jar, or even that the containers continued breaking. The issue was that I kept putting them on the edge of tables. Through my connections, I was subject to my connections to satisfy my requirements. I permitted those connections to characterize my joy or my trouble, my satisfaction or my vacancy, my security, and surprisingly my self-esteem. Thus, similar to the jar put where it will unavoidably fall, through those conditions I set myself up for dissatisfaction. I set myself up to be broken. Furthermore, that is actually what I found: one dissatisfaction, one break after another.

However individuals who broke me were not to fault any more

than gravity can be censured for breaking the jar. We can't fault the laws of physical science when a twig snaps since we inclined toward it for help. The twig was never made to convey us. Our weight was just intended to be conveyed by God. We are told in the Quran: "… whoever rejects evil and trusts in God hath got a handle on the most dependable hand-hold that never breaks. Also, God hears and knows all things."

(Qur'an, 2: 256)

There is a urgent exercise in this refrain: that there is as it were one hand-hold that won't ever break. There is just one spot where we can lay our conditions. There is just one relationship that ought to characterize our self-esteem and just one source from which to look for our definitive joy,

satisfaction, and security. That spot is God. Notwithstanding, this world is tied in with looking for those things wherever else. A few of us look for it in our vocations; a few look for it in riches, some in status. A few, similar to me, look for it in our connections. In her book, Eat, Implore, Love, Elizabeth Gilbert portrays her own journey for bliss. She

depicts moving all through connections, and even venturing to every part of the globe looking for this satisfaction. She looks for that satisfaction - ineffectively - in her connections, in reflection, even in food. Furthermore, that is by and large where I spent my very own lot life: looking for an approach to make up for my inward shortfall. So it was no big surprise

that the young lady in my fantasy posed me this inquiry. It was an inquiry regarding misfortune, about dissatisfaction. It was a question about being let down. An inquiry regarding looking for something and returning with nothing. It was about what happens when you attempt to dive in concrete with your exposed hands: in addition to the fact that you come back with nothing—you break your fingers all the while. I took in this not by understanding it, not by hearing it from an astute sage, I learned it by attempting it once more, and once more, and once more.Thus, the young lady's inquiry was basically my own question… being asked to myself. At last, the inquiry was about the idea of the dunya as a position of short lived minutes and brief connections. As where individuals are with you today and leave or kick the bucket tomorrow. Yet, this reality harms our very being on the grounds that it conflicts with our inclination. We, as people, are made to look for, affection, and make progress toward what is great and what is lasting. We are made to look for what's everlasting. We look for this since we were not made for this life. Our first also, genuine home was Heaven: a land that is both awesome also, interminable. So the longing for that sort of life is a piece of our being. The issue is that we attempt to track down that here. Also, so we make ever-enduring creams and corrective medical procedure in a frantic endeavor to hang on—trying to shape this world into what it isn't, and won't ever be.

Furthermore, that is the reason on the off chance that we live in dunya with our souls, it

breaks us. That is the reason this dunya harms. It is on the grounds that the meaning of dunya, as something brief and flawed, conflicts with all that we are made to long for. Allah put a longing in us that must be satisfied by what is endless and great. By attempting to discover satisfaction in what is passing, we are pursuing a 3D image… a hallucination. We are delving into concrete with our uncovered hands. Trying to turn, what is by its very nature transitory into something endless resembles attempting to separate from fire, water. You just get scorched. Just when we quit placing our expectations in dunya, just when we quit attempting to make the dunya into what it is not—and was never intended to be (jannah)— will this life at last quit breaking our hearts.

We should likewise understand that nothing occurs without a reason. Nothing. Not broken hearts. Not agony. That messed up heart and that agony are exercises and signs for us. They are admonitions that something isn't right. They are admonitions that we need to roll out an improvement. Very much like the agony

of being singed is the thing that cautions us to eliminate our hand from the fire, enthusiastic torment cautions us that we need to make an inside change. We need to separate. Agony is a type of constrained separation. Like the adored one who harms you once more furthermore, over and over, the more dunya harms us, the more we unavoidably withdraw from it. The more we unavoidably stop adoring it. Also, torment is a pointer to our connections. That which makes us cry, what causes us the most agony is the place where our bogus connections lie. What's more, it is those things which we are joined to as we ought to just be appended to Allah which become boundaries on our way to God. In any case, the agony itself is the thing that makes the bogus connection clear. The agony makes a condition in our life that we look to change, and in the event that there is anything about our condition that we don't care for, there is a heavenly recipe to transform it. God says: "Verily never will God change the state of a group until they change what is inside themselves." (Qur'an, 13:11)

Following quite a while of falling into a similar example of dissatisfactions and disaster, I at last started to figure it out something significant. I had consistently believed that adoration for dunya implied being joined to material things. What's more, I was not joined to material things. I was appended to individuals. I was joined to minutes. I was appended to feelings. So I felt that the affection for dunya just didn't concern me. What I didn't understand was that individuals, minutes, feelings are every one of the a piece of dunya. What I didn't understand is that all the torment I had encountered in life was because of a certain something and one thing just: love of dunya. When I started to have that acknowledgment, a cover was lifted from my eyes. I began to perceive what my concern was.

I was anticipating that this life should be what it isn't, and was never intended to be: awesome. What's more, being the dreamer that I am, I was battling with each cell in my body to make it so. It must be great. What's more, I would not stop until it was. I gave my hard work to this undertaking: making the

dunya into jannah. This implied anticipating individuals around me to be great. Anticipating that my relationships should be great. Expecting such a huge amount from everyone around me and from this life. Assumptions. Assumptions. Assumptions. What's more, if there is one formula for despondency it is that: assumptions. In any case, in this lay my lethal mix-up. My mix-up was not in having assumptions; as people, we ought to never lose trust. The issue was in *where* I was putting those assumptions and that expectation. Toward the day's end, my expectation what's more, assumptions were not being put in God. My expectation furthermore, assumptions were in individuals, connections, implies. Eventually, my expectation was in this dunya instead of Allah.

Thus I came to understand a profound Truth. An ayah started to enter my thoughts. It was an ayah I had heard previously, yet interestingly I understood that it was really depicting me: "The individuals who rest not their expectation on their gathering with

Us, however are satisfied a lot with the existence of the present, and the individuals who regard not Our Signs." (Qur'an, 10:7)

By imagining that I can have everything here, my expectation was not in my gathering with God. My expectation was in dunya. However what's the significance here to put your expectation in dunya? How could this be kept away from? It implies when you have companions, don't anticipate that your friends should fill your vacancy. At the point when you get

hitched, don't anticipate that your spouse should satisfy your each need. At the point when you're an extremist, don't place your expectation in the

results. At the point when you're in a tough situation don't rely upon yourself. Try not to rely upon individuals. Rely upon God.

Look for the assistance of individuals—yet understand that it isn't the individuals (or even your own self) that can save you. As it were Allah can do these things. Individuals are just apparatuses, a implies utilized by God. However, they are not the wellspring of help, help, or salvation of any sort. Just God is. Individuals can't make the wing of a fly (Quran, 22:73). What's more, along these lines, even while you communicate with individuals remotely, turn your heart towards God. Face Him alone, as Prophet Ibrahim (as) said so wonderfully: "As far as I might be concerned, I have set my face, solidly and genuinely, towards Him Who made the sky and the earth, and never will I give