3 Rolling in the Deep

I didn't realise how creepy this place was until about five minutes after the Tree Bear vanished.It went from mystical to ominous real quick,the 'plop plop' starting to sound eerie and menacing.By then I had walked no more than fifty feet in the powdery,all encompassing fog and despite my rising apprehension the towering Freia ( funny how I remembered that but not Tree Bear's name) were really starting to look appetizing.They were growing fairly close together and there was one about two feet in front of me that I couldn't stop staring at.The chocolate-and I'm a hundred per cent sure it is now-was oozing and flowing, undulating in this mesmerizing,almost seductive way and I couldn't tear my gaze from it.I know Tree Bear man warned me against touching the stuff but I can't imagine why.

I was alone.

Who would know? Plus I really needed a sugar rush.I looked up at the towering,beautiful mass of brown goodness and reached out to touch.I had one second to process the thick,creamy texture before I was yanked forcefully back by the scruff of my gown.

Tree Bear.

"You blockheaded dunderwhelp! Disobedient fool! Did you not hear what I said? A chit like you wouldn't last a second in the goal chamber.Curse Glob for this assignment!" His eyes were wide and glinting,his plump cheeks puffing in an out,his snout quivering.His body looked ready to burst with trapped tension.Dude sure had a temper,he was absolutely livid.

And ofcourse all my brain could send to my mouth was "Isn't it dunderhead and not dunderwhelp?"

His little beady eyes went frog like and bulging.

"That's what you heard?!" His yelling brought my hands up to protect my eardrums.I glared at him."This is alot to process and I haven't understood a word you've said since you opened your hairy mouth! Quit hollering at me and start speaking English!"

"Am I speaking a dialect unknown to you? The switch to your tongue is usually instantaneous but if you cannot decipher what I say then-" My eardrums were safe-for the moment-so I threw my hands up in frustration and cut him off.

"I get the words,you moron,but not what they mean! You haul me into this weird creepy place with no explanation and expect me to follow you! Who follows a mind reading Tree Bear! For all I know you're taking me to your den of Tree Bears to spear me like a kebab and slow roast me over a bonfire while singing 'kum-bah-yah'!" I'm pacing back and forth infront of him,my arms gesticulating while he stands with his Moses rod and stares at me.

"I am Ulrik the Finder,not Tree Bear" I stop pacing,look at his slightly confused face and slap my forehead with my palm.I sigh and massage my temples,pacing once again."Let's try this again-what exactly do you 'find'?"

His eyes follow me but he is absolutely still as he speaks."Not what,but whom.I am tasked with seeking and recruiting any being from your realm who possesses a gift of Glob.Upon the awakening of your abilities this morn I became aware of your location and was able to extract you before Gargol was able to detect you.Come to think of it," He tilted his shaggy head,his eyes widening imperceptibly with this new realisation, "you are indebted to me for that act alone human!" My glare was out again in full force."Well excuse me for not falling down and prostrating myself before you while I sing you praises and kiss your big hairy feet,but I've been almost suffocated to death by my room, levitated like Jean Grey and thrown into some freaky weird alternate dimension all in less than half an hour! I haven't even had my coke yet!"

"I will never understand why you homosapiens," who the sourkraut says that??? "insist on stuffing your rather fragile bodies with harmful addictive substances.What are they called? Drugs?" He shook his head at this,"incredibly asinine if you ask me".

Smack.Ouch,darn it facepalms hurt."Not cocaine! Coke!" His brows knit and as he's raising a sanctimonious finger to interject I clarify.

"Coca-Cola! You know,the heavenly fizzy happiness in a bottle?" Even I can feel the lovesick glaze begining to cover my eyes as I continue."The sweet, beautiful life giving energy booster that makes the world a better place" Okay maybe that was a bit much but bloody hell I haven't gone ten minutes after waking up without a cold crisp coca-cola in like.....man in like forever really. Maybe I am sort of a junkie.....

"Most certainly you are.If I am remembering the information correctly,that beverage contains an abhorrent amount of sugar and caffeine,both of which are highly addictive.How typically human of you.You are all so weak."

His mouth turns down in a disapproving frown and judgement is all but rolling off him.I put a couple daggers in my glare and aim it at him.

"Stay out of my head! And we're off topic,Ulrik of,wait where am I again?"

"The land of Opa" He says it reverently with open arms.Solemn look in his eyes.I look him up and down.

Theatrical much? "And where do you want to take me?"

"We must travel to Aorta to meet with the others before nightfall.It is a full day's journey and your lollygagging is costing us valuable time".

I put my hand up and pat the air,scrunch up my face,squint through my eye lids."Wait,hold up,aorta as in heart,artery aorta?"

His turn to squint now."If you know of Aorta why are you so befuddled?"

I roll my eyes and throw up my arms again.This conversation is becoming a real pain in the caboose."It's in the dictionary! They babble about it in my biology lecture,I know the English definition but not what it means here in never weirder land!"

"It is where all Globites meet,in the town of Cardoza.Our headquarters,if you may.Now come,we must leave."

Before I can object,he grabs me by my arm and we fall into a deep dark abyss that opened up under his feet.Yup,back into shock I go.