6 I Believe I Can Fly

My eyes widened, almost taking over my entire face as I paddled and kicked the air.My hand brushed against a Freia and my vocal cords sprang into action."Aaaaaaaahhhhh!" I turned and flailed.Screamed and clawed at nothingness.Im not sure why I bothered since my body refused to obey me and kept right on rising."ULRIK!!" At this point I'm pinwheeling,still screaming,and getting more frantic by the second.I do a breast stroke in the air.A butterfly.Jumping jacks. Uncoordinated flapping around(thank God I'd put some tights on the night before).Nothing worked. "Judah,get down this istant." I barely heard him over my wildly beating heart and my rapid,short burst screaming."Don't you think I'm trying?!" I started to swim through the air,looked down and realised that my momentum was taking me off the path and steering me towards some-thankfully-normal looking pine trees.I also noticed a certain Tree Bear looking extremely annoyed and very inconvenienced walking beneath me."You need to quiet your mind,focus on your breath,stop thrashing about like a fish out of water and concentrate."

His last word was said with a low growl and enough force to still my movements.I looked down at his angry face."Easy for you to say," I reverse my horizontal belly flop,spread my arms and look up at the sky.Im at least fifteen feet in the air,the trees are sparse enough now that I don't have to worry about being beheaded or maimed by a branch,but further ahead they're much closer together.I have no idea how to control my direction or the speed at which I'm moving.I really need to get the hang of this thing.On the other hand the sky is rather pretty.Rose pink blending into peaches and gold,a bit of faded orange here and there, cirrocumulus clouds...I can feel my heart beat slow down and my breath even out.I focus on nothing but the sky, the sounds of nature and Ulrik marching almost silently breath me for five full minutes.Still floating towards death by pine tree.Belly flop again."Um Ulrik," He looks at me."It's not working"

"It does not work because you are doing it incorrectly." His sigh was lengthy and long suffering."Judah,you can lead a horse to water but you cannot make it drink." I scrunch up my face,"what?" That resigned sigh again."I can only tell you what to do but you must do this on your own.This is your gift.Only you can master it." I rolled my eyes,some help you are.I heard him huff and mumble something."Stay out of my head!" I added a little growl of my own for good measure and closed my eyes.Come on Jude.You mastered dodgeball,you can do this.I clasped my hands and put them on my chest,extended my legs,keeping them together and inhaled deeply.

A bug went up my nose.

My eyes flew open and I did a pretty good impression of an elephant blowing it's trunk.I gaged,sneezed and coughed until I dislodged what seemed to be a very irritated fruit fly.I rubbed my nose as it flew around my head cussing me out."You think I liked having you up my nose pal?"It probably gave me the finger then went on it's way.

"Oh,this is ridiculous"

"What are you talking ab-",before I could finish,Ulrik had backed up about 10 paces in the lush undergrowth took a very quick running start then lept-to my utter amazement-the fifteen feet (or more) in the air and grabbed my ankle.I had only enough time to think he'd be really good at the Olympics before I had a mouthful of grass and very non-oreo tasting dirt."Jeez, are you out of your mind?" I had landed very unceremoniously on my face. I sputtered at him while he-and I kid you not-examined his nails haughtily,his other hand behind his back.

"It worked didn't it?"

I stared at him open mouthed then considered,shrugged and stood up.I brushed dirt and twigs from my night gown,wondering why I bothered since it was now filthy."Is that what you're gonna do every time I start levitating?"

"If it is not broken,why try to mend it?"

"What is it with you and all these cryptic sayings all of a sudden?"

He shrugs and steps off.I start after him and step on a sharp rock.

"hssst,booger,snot nosed orange pound cake!"

I hop on one leg and hold the injured one in my hands."For the love of Glob,Judah,watch where you're going!"

My eyes wish him a slow and cruel demise.

"I'm barefoot you big lout and my eyes can't see through all this bush!" He walks back to me,angrilly picks me up-hard,rough skin covering raw power- and sets me on a smooth rock big enough to seat my butt.Im massaging the sole of my foot and grimacing at the sting.He crouches before me and brushes my hands away.Takes my foot and mutters about foolish,clumsy chits.He turns his right palm over and a shortened version of his staff forms.He runs the tip over the scrape and the sting disappears.Im not even shocked anymore.The tip glides over the top of my foot and two seconds later it's encased in a

soft russet coloured mocasin boot.My eyes widen as I run my hand over the velvety material appreciatively.The action is repeated on my uninjured foot and I sit for a good minute just fondling my feet. "Will you sit there the entire day stroking your shoes? The Noir will be most pleased at how easy you've made their work."

"I swear,you get off on ruining every bit of pleasure I find in this God forsaken place.Tell me Ulrik,do you have a hard on right now?" He makes a face and since he has a habit of invading my brain I send him a very clear picture of what I mean.I welcome the self satisfied smirk as it slides onto my face and take immense pleasure from his gasp and a very surprised "Egad!"

"Told you to keep clear of my head."

"You....you...you all but shoved that crude image in my face! How vulgar and disgusting.What in heavens name was Glob thinking when he gifted your parents?" That definitely got my attention."Stick a pin.Tell me more about what my parents have to do with this," He was apparently too busy trying to shake the remnants of a very engorged penis from his head to hear me.

"Ulrik!"

"What?" I put a hand on my hip,tapped my left foot,other hand raised in question."My parents?" He started forward,making a path for us with his magic stick (I wince at the double entendre) in the dense underbrush.

"What about them?"

"Before I floated off I asked you who's to blame for this mess and you said my parents."

"Correct"

"So?"

"So what?"

Ulrik!"

"Judah"

"Quit being a blockhead!"

"My head is clearly not made of block"

"That's it! I'm not moving another inch until you tell me exactly what you meant." I stop and look at him defiantly when he turns."That is a tale I know very little of."

"Tell me what you know then"

He rubs his forehead,as if he has a headache.Tough luck.

"You would do better to hear it from Glob."

"How bout you give me a sneak peak?"

Another resigned sigh.

"Fine,but we must continue,for we have strayed far from the path."

As long as you tell me everything you know."

"Come then."

I look up through the canopy of trees now surrounding us and see pieces of the gorgeous sky.The scents of moss,pine,dirt and ozone permeate the air.A bird calls,a cricket chirps and the foliage sway in a slight breeze.I put my tangled hair up in a loose bun and walk with him into the dappled shadows of the forrest.It's story time again.