5 1,2 Step

My destiny was really looking up.Or rather down.In my belly.

My eyes were still somewhere at the back of my head when they rolled there in sheer unadulterated pleasure from the swipe of Freia chocolate I stole.I gaped at my surroundings as Ulrik spoke."Not so long ago, Gargol reigned supreme in Opa,"

Is that a bushel of...cinnamon rolls? And hot cross buns on-gasp-candy cane stems? Is that a whipped cream dandelion??

"He was cruel,selfish and crazed with his own power.The people of Opa were quite literally taxed for walking on the street,for using the restroom.They could barely afford the meager supply of food that trickled out from behind the walls of his castle." I stopped ogling a croissant tree for a split second,

"sounds like a right bastard," back to ogling while he continues,voice grim as we walk along the path."Indeed,that he was.Glob waited for ten bitter years,honing his skills, incessantly practicing his elementals untill he was strong enough to challenge Gargol.He almost lost his life but he won,and took with him a big chunk of Gargol's powers." Oh.My.Papaya.Is that a clump of candy corn flowers? "With the last vestiges if his strength,Gargol cast a spell over Nazir and retreated there in defeat.He cannot leave it's borders but neither can we enter it and defeat him."

A tootsie roll tree?

"There he remains,for the past few centuries nursing his wounds and building his army of Noir.He hopes to regain enough strength to once again rule over Opa."

Another swipe of Freia.Another slice of heaven on my tongue.I snapped off a piece of delicious looking croissant and bite in.I forgot how to walk.Which was perfectly fine as long as I remembered how to chew and swallow.Maybe I should just move here.Forget college,forget my tiny little apartment off campus and just eat my life away.Ah,what a beautiful little fantasy.Ulrik once again grabs my arm to pull me along and once again, pop goes my bubble.I pull my arm out of his grasp and I want to yell but my mouth is otherwise occupied so I settle for my trusty eye daggers.

Steady,aim,fire!

I might as well be batting my eye lashes,for all the good that it does me.I will not be deterred however and keep it up while he paces infront of me.Since his mouth is quite unoccupied he can yell at will."You imbecilic nincompoop!"

Aren't those like,the same thing?

"We must get to Aorta before the night falls! If you keep halting to stuff your mouth we will be wrinkled and grey before we arrive! I did not wish for this assignment, I've had enough of Glob and his fool's errands!" He made quite a big roar and if he wasn't looking at the ground during his little diatribe I might have been fazed.

Maybe.

At least he gave me time to finish off the croissant."Well excuse me for trying to cop some grub,since someone didn't give me a chance to get breakfast." I brush past him and keep walking."If you run on fairy dust and magic,I certainly don't.I need food and you DID say I can eat whatever I want so kill the bee that crawled up your ass.Have you ever heard of assault? In my world you'd be locked up for hauling me around like that."

I'm stomping my bare feet now and the fact that it hurt made me stomp harder.

"I can assure you that there most certainly is no insect in that or any of my other orifices."

The haughty,insulted tone made me turn and look at him.His face was a mask of displeasure and indignation,a look that is incongruous on his bear face,and I burst out laughing,the spate of temper all but dissipating.

"Is there anything to drink around here?" He looks at me for a second before he uses his stick-wait,where does it keep disappearing to and reappearing from?-to stroke his chest diagonally.An old looking,well worn leather strap appeared in the wake of his stick and attached to the ends was a gorgeous, intricately carved,round wooden flask."Is that stick like,a magic wand or something?" I ask as he hands it to me."It is merely the conduit to my energy." He stands and watches me in befuddlement as I drink like I'd been in the dessert for days.Is everything here orgasmic? This is the purest, crispiest,sweetest tasting water I've ever had.I can all but feel my organs singing in appreciation.Of course,my eyes are once more somewhere in the back of my head as I greedily gulp it down.If I had this kind of water back home I'd never touch coke again.I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand and return it."Now that's some good water." He puts it back across his chest,swipe the stick along the strap and it fades away.I don't even blink,I'm getting pretty used to the supernatural I guess."Shall we continue?" He raises a bushy brow.

"By all means,let's go Tree Bear." He frowns but ignores my comment."Were you listening to my tale?"

"Gargol evil,Glob good,kicks evil's ass and now evil is cowering in his dark scary castle plotting revenge while Glob is living it up at Heart Mansion" We're once again walking on Oreos and I've started to notice regular trees filtering through the landscape.This bit of normalcy lightens the tension I didn't realise had gripped my shoulders and I quicken my pace."Crudely put but yes,that is the gist of it.Though Glob isn't exactly-" he air quotes here, "living it up.He has spent the last five decades orchestrating and planning an invasion of Nazir.His every waking moment is centered around the protection of Opa and it's people." Which reminded me of a question I still hadn't gotten an answer to."I still don't get what I have to do with all this." I reach down and grab a stalk of licorice, chew lazily.Ulrik glances at me as he speaks."You are one of the four who possess the gifts of Glob." I scoff and shake my head,twirl the piece of licorice."I don't know Glob from Adam and I'm pretty sure he didn't give me a present." He looks at me in exasperation."The levitation Judah.The telekinesis."

Hold up,what? I stop and face him,put my palm out like I'm trying to stop traffic.He walks into it and I snatch my hand away instinctively.My fingers still throb from before.Not making that mistake again."You mean your Glob is the reason I went all Jean Grey? He's the reason my room is trying to kill me?"

"If by that you mean is he the one who favored you with your abilities then yes he is."

Hello temper,old buddy old pal."My room is trashed! I could have died floating around in my room! My clothes almost strangled me!" Enter Mr.Righteous indignation."How dramatic.You would have hardly died.Your ignorance is no fault of Glob's,nor is your inability to control what you were given."

"I didn't ask for any of this! Who's fault is it then?" I throw up my hands,look at him in expectation.

"Your parents."

And on that note my feet leave the ground and I go up,up and away.

Crap.

Here we go again.