3 FORCE LEAVE

The debt is getting bigger, the farm is to be mortgaged to float from failure in the farm harvests. My Dad is working extra construction jobs in the Department of Public Works and High ways. My Mom decided to go abroad. We are so attached to our loving Mom. A faithful, loving, and brave Mom who will do everything for her family. My Dad was not willing. He said he will work to death, just don't go please he said. My Mom said, Tony, I don't want you and the kids die in hunger and I don't want to see you die working hard, you are not even physically fit to do construction work. We all cried as if somebody died already. Just the thought of my Mom leaving for another unknown country is so hard for us to bear. What if her Boss is cruel and the children she will take care of are abusive. I cried so much, just to miss her a week, a month, a year? I was used to embracing my Mom, I'm used to her smell from my babyhood that I can't sleep without her clothes with her smell. That's how I'm close to my Mom. Her evening stories which Netflix and Television can't compete in my memories and heart. The Bible stories that give me tears how she would tell how God blesses and punish people according to what we behave. The pieces of advice to listen to our Father's instructions. The respect of my mother to my father can't be questioned. Even in deep suffering, I can never hear my Mom complain and never observe her in action to have regrets with my father. She keeps her part to grow and let this family survive and be happy. My Mom is the first teacher that teaches me respect, the importance of the Bible to inspire us and make us survive the worse times in our lives. I sometimes have doubts about my faith but I have seen my Mom in deepest suffering to continue to pray and trust God and will often say: " All is well because God is in control"

My Mom's classmate who is in Japan tells my Mom in our old Cloudphone smartphone which was saved from the typhoon. Telling her through the messenger that her Boss' friend is finding an all-around Nanny. My Mom grabbed the opportunity. Nancy said that her prospective boss is the CEO of a big food manufacturing company in Japan and is Japanese-Filipino blood with a Filipina wife. This gives us comfort and relief.

The last week of my Mom is the hardest week for us. It seems we will never see her again. We are three children, I'm the eldest, then my brother, Paulo, who is a special child with Down Syndrome, then our youngest, my Sister, Ruthie who is just four years old. We discussed and debated what will be the best option that my Mom will not push through the plan to leave us.

Dad, was silently crying, he does not show it but I know because his eyes are red from tears, he never drinks wine after their marriage, my Dad is a real changed man from his drunkard past but he always goes to our small chapel to talk to our Pastor and pray. Sometimes in the evening, when my Mom slept in my Aunt's house in the city preparing and submitting her requirements to government offices to go abroad, my Dad covered by a blanket is crying sobbing that in the morning the blanket is wet of tears. He never dreamed to be separated from my Mom to go abroad.

Another typhoon is coming, that force us to make a decision that my mother and we were forced to make a sad decision.

Our last supper, is camote tops blanched and made as a salad with vinegar, fermented fish, with onions, tomatoes, and garlic. Rice was given by my Aunt where Mom stayed when she was in the city. I can not forget that supper with my Mom, that when I eat Camote tops Salad or sweet potato leaves salad, I will remember that day and bring me to tears. I can now relate to those children whose parents go abroad, some who can't cope with the loneliness, have made a defensive reaction of hating their parents or became aloft or cold in their relationship. But we have developed that love for our parents that we can't bear to hate them no matter what.

I promised her to take care of my brother Paulo who is a special child and is also special in our hearts, she is also my Mom's inspiration in going so he can go to a special school. The most difficult decision for my Mom is our ever dearest youngest Ruthie, who is so young to leave. She cried a lot and actually decided not to continue with the plan but if we can't pay our debts and the mortgage of the farmland, we will lose everything.

The saddest day has come. We send her off to the airport without a word we just move and go because all were set and prepared except what to say to each other before she goes because this is the first time we will be part for a longer unknown period.

Then we all cried, my Mom, forced a smile and said, pray for me. My Dad prayed between sobbing, has said that God protects her and gives her a good boss. We all have a family hug, a hug that seems never to stop but the announcement from the airport paging that passengers will board the plane. Our youngest Ruthie cried the most that all the passengers in the airport near us shed some tears to see her in that heavy emotional departure of her mother.

The song in the airport sound system is singing in the background:

"Fill my heart with song

And let me sing forevermore

You are all I long for

All I worship and adore

In other words, please be true

In other words, I love you"