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*I strongly apologise about the fact that all the chapters are ordered the wrong way, I tried reordering but it just gets worse. I'm so sorry ( ⚈̥̥̥̥̥́⌢⚈̥̥̥̥̥̀)

I will keep trying though, I promiseಥ‿ಥ*

*

Vanilla

Cream takes me this time to the car but I am still shaking....

The blood.....

The blood....

Too much...

Too...

He opens the passenger seat and makes me enter, but Coco is already there, waiting as he grabs me and pulls me into his laps and mutters "I'm so sorry that you had to see that Nilla"

That's when I burst.

I cry, holding unto his shirt and squeezing more into him.

Why do I always this?

Why do I always hurt people?

What's..... What's wrong with me?

'Why doesn't Mummy like me Pa?'

'She does, but sometimes, people aren't happy about the choices they make Nessie, and your Mother.... Just wasn't happy about leaving her past life'

'He left because of you!'

'Possibly saw the freak you would become and ran to his other kids for comfort and safety's

Stop....

I didn't do anything!

I didn't....

"It's okay, I'm here"

But it's not.....

What if....

What if Ber goes to jail....

No, no, I can't think like that.

The car suddenly stops, and I'm being scooped into someone's arms as I grab unto him.

His smell makes me know who it is.

It's my fault....

"No"

Cream looks down at me, a small smile on his face "You didn't do anything. You never do anything. Just close your eyes for a second Nilla, we're home. You're safe"

Home....

What really was home?

I didn't want to be here.

I made him...

I made someone hurt someone....

I want Aunt back.

I can't do this...

I don't want this.

I hear Cream talking to someone, possibly Alex before we enter into the house.

Coco suddenly takes me from Cream's arms and we are sitted on the couch as he says "Cream's going to prepare a bath for you okie?"

I look up at him....

He looks so cute.

Why haven't I....

"Nilla? Are you...."

I kiss him there.

At first, I wasn't even sure about what I was doing, why I was doing it, but he didn't stop me.

His hands pull me closer, one on my back steadying me as he kisses me back, hungrier until I am now lying on the couch and he's on top of me.

My thoughts finally shift from Mother...

From the convent...

From...

Her smile suddenly comes up in my head and I hear myself let out a whimper.

Coco is suddenly thrown off my body as Cream stares down at him with his blank face back, except I can see the veins on his face "You just had five minutes alone with her Chocolate"

No...

No it was me...

I reach out to him and wrap my hands around him "Me... Me... Not... Coco... Me..."

He turns to me, his eyes staring down at me.... The veins slowly leaving as he carries me up again, leaving Coco behind as we head up the stairs.

When we reach my room, he takes me into the bathroom and settles me into the bathtub.

With my uniform.

The water is warm and when what happens comes back again, I'm raising my legs up to my face and crying into my knees.

Cream is there, sitting next to the tub....

Not saying a word.

When he notices I'm no longer crying, he gets a towel and helps me out of the tub, removing my clothes but wrapping the towel around me so that he wouldn't see anything....

All this time, he says nothing.

Then he gets my pyjamas and hands it to me, leaving the bathroom.

As the door shuts, I turn to the mirrors and let the towel fall.

There's a purple sort of bruise on my stomach that looked horrible...

Ugly....

'My God Vanessa. You look nothing like your Father, or me, you are actually.... Ugly'

I puke into the sink.

When I'm done dressing, I open the door and find Cream staring at the ring inside the velvet box before he looks at me, shutting the box and saying "Would you like to sleep?"

I shake my head "Ber.... And Mel... I want to... Wait...."

He nods, walking up to me and saying "Does it still hurt?"

I am about to say no, that it just stung a little bit when I bent, but he raises my pyjamas shirt up, staring down at the bruise.

I want to cover it back, but he is suddenly on his knees, kissing it....

I don't move.

"I'm so sorry, it's my fault"

"If you were with us, with me, he wouldn't have..."

I look down at him "Cream..."

He looks up at me and I see...

Tears?

"It's not...."

My hands move to his face, gently cleaning the tears as I wipe the tears on his face as I smile at him "You held me, didn't you?"

He says nothing, holding my hand and kissing it...

Butterfly kisses....

He takes me down, making sure he's slow so that I wouldn't feel any pain on my stomach as he moves even though I don't think I will before I find Coco staring outside the window....

Window...

I suddenly rush to him and pull him away, wrapping my arms around him "No. No windows"

"Vanilla...."

I look up at him and shake my head "No windows"

He stares down at me for a while, confused but he smiles and says "No windows"

As the fear rising in me slowly comes down, the house door opens and I see Mel walk in...

Then Ber...

His frown is back but there's a bandage around his hand..

But he's okay.

He's safe.

I run to him "Ber...."

The shove is unexpected, but it comes and I find myself on the floor as Ber stares down at me with hatred in his eyes "Don't touch me"

I feel the tears coming up again as he storms away into the kitchen, Cream following him.

"Van!"

Mel rushes to me, carrying me up as he stares at me, every part of me "Are you....."

"Ber..."

"He's okay" Mel cuts in "So is Court, just don't.."

Then I hear it.

The punch.

I deadpan as I push myself out of Mel's grasp as I run to the kitchen and find Cream on Ber, both on the floor as he tried to wrestle a knife out of his grasp "Fucking shut up Ber!"

"It's her fucking fault!" Ber snapped back "It's because of her that we're like this! She is the one complicating things! She should leave! She doesn't belong here!"

As he says that, Mel and Coco rush into the kitchen, Mel now covering his mouth at the sight as Coco covers his face.

"Coco" Cream said "Get Mel out of here! And Nilla, go to your room! Now!"

Coco hurriedly takes Mel but I can't move...

Can't....

Ber's eyes suddenly jam on mine as he snapped "Leave! We don't want you here!"

Cream turned back "Go to your room! Please!"

We don't want you here....

Leave!

'To think you thought someone would love you Nessie. Pathetic'

I find myself running....

But it's not up the stairs....

It's outside the house.

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