5 Kage Meeting

Suddenly, Ryu had a bad premonition. He looked up and turned his head to see Tsunade walking over with a dark face.

Ryu frowned and quickly put his book away, walking away.

Tsunade picked up the pace and Ryu started running, Tsunade started sprinting and Ryu ran away as she chased after him.

He shouted "Get away from me, Granny Milk Cow! Whatever you want me to do, I won't do it!" Tsunade shouted "I'll charge you property tax!" Ryu froze and glared at her, saying "Alright! You're ruthless! What do you want!?"

Tsunade grinned and crossed her arms in front of her chest, puffing the udders with pride!

A few days later

Ryu was standing in a room with a dead look in his eyes.

The 5 Kages all met with each other!

Yes! Tsunade forced Ryu to be her bodyguard!

Ryu nearly fell asleep when someone said "Hello?" He got up and punched the person, shouting "AH! ALIENS!"

The person smashed through the wall and everyone looked at Ryu.

He coughed and looked at the Kage, sneering "What do a bunch of old farts want?"

Onoki frowned, "Watch your to-" Ryu coughed, "Old man, shut up before you worsen your back problems." A slapped the table and said "You-" Ryu pinched his voice and said "Oh~ Raikage-sama, I'm pregnant~!"

A gasped "It was you!"

Mei stood up and laughed angrily "Did you call me old?!" Ryu stepped on the wall with one leg, saying "What's your village called again? I forgot since you're fucking irrelevant!"

Gaara just stayed quiet and Ryu shouted "Panda-chan! You've come a long way. I'm proud of your growth!" Then he turned his nose up, shouting "Honestly, everyone here is trash!"

A threw a punch and Ryu grabbed his fist, slamming A on the ground and kicked him out of the building, saying "Who else!? Operation kidnap Mizukage for a blind date is a go!"

Mei gasped and pointed at herself "Blind date?!" then held her cheeks, asking "I-Is he handsome~?"

Onoki floated up and Ryu punched the air, sending him flying before grabbing the neck of a Cloud Ninja, saying "Do you want to dance too?"

Onoki nearly had a heart attack and Ryu kneed the cloud ninja flying as he crossed his arms shouting "Come on, then! Let's dance!" as he flashed and beat everyone up, even Tsunade, standing on her with holding Mei on his shoulder and laughing evilly "Kidnap the Mizukage plan is complete! Now for the matchmaking!"

Before he kicked through the wall and jumped on a unicorn, flying off into the sunset.

Ryu suddenly opened his eyes groggily and looked around as Temari was shaking him, asking "Are you alright, Ryu-sama?"

Ryu sat up and looked around, saying in a shocked half awake tone "I was dreaming?! Damn it!" Temari added, "You were laughing and shouting about 'Operation Mizukage Matchmaking'..."

Ryu was stunned and cursed "My plans have been revealed! Damn!"

A looked at Ryu, then Tsunade, asking "You brought this clown here?" Tsunade rubbed her eyebrows, saying "I wouldn't call him a clown…"

Ryu appeared in front of A, squatting on the table and snorting "A stupid idiot like you called me a clown?"

Onoki said badly "This is a 5 Kage meeting! Not a circus!"

Ryu turned to him and said "When I was Hokage, you didn't even dare to fart and now you're throwing your weight around? I don't mind making my dream come true, old man. Sit down and shut up before I slap you back into the Sengoku Era."

Onoki was livid and Ryu turned on Eternal Mangekyou, looking at him as he asked "Wanna dance, Onoki?" Onoki froze and turned pale "Those eyes… You?!" Ryu sneered and turned back to A, saying "Anyway, you wanna do something, hm? Recently you sent Cloud Ninja to Konoha, what's your problem?"

A glared at him and Ryu said "Yes, I do represent Konoha. You wanna start a war?" A choked on his words and stared at Ryu, chuckling "Can you afford it?"

Ryu suddenly grinned and said "If I kill you right here, then we won half the battle right?"

Gaara stood up and said slowly "Ryu-sama, Raikage-sama, please. We are here to talk about the Akatsuki threat." Ryu looked over and nodded, "Panda-chan, you became a great Ninja. I'm proud of you." then he turned back to A, saying "On account of Panda-chan's request, I'll let you go today. Remember this though…"

He turned to all the Kages, saying coldly "The higher ups of Konoha no longer exist. The softer than baby shit Konoha no longer exists. Even if Tsunade decides to give in, I will raze your garbage villages to the ground, get it? If you want to start a war, I will accompany you."

He stood up and cracked his neck, snorting "A bunch of trash, except Panda-chan and his siblings." He looked over at Mei and added, "And if Mei-chan agrees to the blind date, then she's not trash either."

He hopped off the table and walked back to his seat, sitting down and snoring instantly.

There was an awkward silence and Tsunade coughed, "Well… He speaks for the village too." she looked around and sneered "Try and start a war, we're chomping at the bit to bite into other Villages… Fun Fact: Ryu-kun's flames have a temperature of 6000 degrees. I wouldn't touch him if I were you."

The Cloud Ninja froze and backed off quickly.

Ryu cracked one eye open, looking at the Cloud Ninja with a sneer before closing his eye, muttering "Cowards…" he suddenly sat up and looked at the ceiling with a frown.

Tsunade looked over and frowned "What's wrong?" Ryu furrowed his brows and said "I got a bad feeling… Like a stupid kid is going to do something stupid again…" He looked at a corner in the rafters, staring at a certain spot, adding "Something very stupid for no reason at all."

Before turning to a man behind Mei, changing the subject as he said "Speaking of stupid, why does this bastard have a Byakugan?" Ao froze and looked at Ryu with a frown, "What's it to you, Uchiha? This is spoils of war, got it?"

Ryu grinned "If I kill you, I'll collect your spoils of war from your corpse, right?" Ao sneered, "You wanna try it?" Ryu grinned, "I was just waiting for you to say that actually…"

Tsunade shouted "Enough! We're here to have a talk! Not fight!"

Ryu complained "Why even talk to these idiots? Honestly! That old fart Onoki is about to die and not fast enough. That moron from the Cloud can't wait to start another war. This Mizukage is coming to Konoha for a blind date. And Panda-chan, is Panda-chan."

Ryu clapped and continued "Let me sum things up. Gaara is worried about Akatsuki, Mei doesn't think much of them, Onoki is plotting how to take a bite out of Konoha, A is here to accuse everyone of using Akatsuki, and we're here to do absolutely nothing."

He pointed at Mei, saying "First of all, they're not making new Jinchuuriki, you dumb broad." then A, "You're the only mentally retarded child here who thinks everyone is against you." then Onoki, saying "I can't wait for you to keel over and die."

He grabbed the swords coming for his throat and smashed his head on a huge fist, sending a Rock Ninja flying as he said with a sneer "The so-called 5 Kage talks are just bullshit. Honestly. I'm bored and want to go home. Can we leave now?"

Tsunade frowned and said "Can you please. Why did I bring you here…" Ryu shrugged and crossed his arms in a huff, saying annoyingly "I don't know either!"

Suddenly, Ryu pinched the air and stared in confusion, "What? Why??" Sasuke glared at him and said "You lied to me?!"