1 Stupid ways to die
Earth, on a dark alleyway bar.
4 males sat on a 3 meter and a half couch, while in front of them was a table and a dark skinned woman dancing seductively on top of it.
"Ey' Ezekiel pass me the blunt!"
A young man with black top tank and purple dyed mohawk shouted while waving his hands towards himself in a playful manner. In reply a man with dark brown eyes, black hair that covers one part of his face flipped the man and tossed the item to him and grunted, he then stared at the 2 others beside him that were busy taking cocaine into their systems while dry humping the dark skinned dancer.
"If you guys aren't gonna seriously take the info away from my mouth, I'll just be waiting outside there until you guys sober up and also Mike, please don't shout at me when I'm just beside you"
Ezekiel then stood up and went outside, he stared at the wall just outside and decided to lean on it, he took a cigarette pack which had a big M and a leaf in front of it's package along with it's dark green motif it's not hard to know what this pack really was.
"Damn assholes, asks to meet privately then just gets themselves high as fuck like a gang war isn't on the verge of erupting"
He popped a black cigarette with dark green lines into his mouth and pulled a lighter in the shape of a skull from his pocket and lightened it, he inhaled exaggeratedly and puffed a large amount of smoke while staring at the night sky. He continued burning through his pack and after a few hours of solitude he decided not to go back inside the bar and started walking away.
...
The 3 high and drunk men were all jumbled up in the VIP section of bar and had no intention of getting until the Mike, the mohawk man sobered up and realized that the info-broker he asked for didn't return. He violently woke up his 2 companions and they were still staring at practically nothing, at least for other people's perspectives.
"Get down from your highs! Ezekiel isn't here, he went out an' never went back in"
The 2 others were still in a daze but they somehow understood and adjusted themselves one way or the other. One of them George was a dark skinned man with a buzz cut and blue eyes, he calmly placed his fingers on his chin and took a sip of water before speaking out his thoughts.
"Boss did you pay him yet?"
Mike stood there and glared at George before shaking his head and raising an eye brow as if to signal him to continue.
"Then we're fucked, I heard rumors that the dude was easily irritable and quickly changes sides if he was annoyed"
George was about to add another sentence but Mike ran off and left him hanging, George looked at his still high companion and shrugged.
...
Ezekiel was walking in a crowded street and while smoking, he was wearing a dark blue hoodie with an orange logo in the back and he also wore jogging pants that were more or less too 'big' for him, he had his hands on his hoodie pocket and he continued walking.
"They're gonna regret this"
He murmured something before taking a turn in a dark alley way and arriving at a hidden door, he knocked 4 times and said a password unique only to him before the door opened revealing a muscly bald man with shades and no shirt welcoming him inside. He continued inside and gave a slight nod to a man in a white suit and purple tie, his inside shirt was red and he had a blond hair styled into a messy pompadour.
"Information about the Mohawkians, especially their guns and amount of men weak points are also appreciated, I'll give you extra 30,000 for those"
Ezekiel smiled as the suave man in front of him was straight to the point and offered quite a price for info about dead beat gangsters, probably did something to his daughter or something along the lines. Ezekiel answered down to the period of what he knows and he left the building soon but before he left he eavesdropped and left with a malicious grin.
"Now then, which side should I drag down? Mohawkians or the White Tigers...eeny meenie-"
As Ezekiel was deciding on what to do next a familiar looking mohawk punk came running to him and pointed a gun to his head.
"Did you already sell us out or are you just about to?"
Ezekiel smiled and walked past the gun, he knew he wouldn't shoot so he just stood beside him and whispered some info about the opposing faction. Mike smiled and gave 3 stacked cash to Ezekiel before patting him in the back.
"I knew you wouldn't betray us so easily, hehe we're best bros after all right?"
Ezekiel only smiled, but it wasn't sincere and went on his way after he was a few meters away from the grinning idiot he took out his phone and dialed a number.
RIIIIING
"Excuse me? Chief Burklins?"
"Wha-? You again? Rotten rat who's group did you decide to sell out again?"
"Mike and Dragunov's"
The chief on the other side of the phone seemed to be silent for a bit and several whispers could be heard in the background before he coughed and asked.
"Info and we'll clear your latest charges for hacking as usual"
"Well, they're..."
...
ABCD Hotels, ground floor, reception desk.
A familiar looking youthful looking middle aged man in casual clothing checked out of the hotel and was preparing to leave when several men surrounded him.
"Your Ezekiel aren't cha'?"
A 6'4 man bumped to him and tried intimidating Ezekiel, but much to their surprise he only smiled and held out his hands. The men looked at each other and they asked him to follow them, he did as they said and after they entered a van they brought him to an abandoned factory.
"Boss Dragunov wants to ask you about how the police knew about the exact locations of the recent war happening between us and the Mohawkians"
Ezekiel only grinned and was then brought to a empty place with a single chair in front of a couch, he was asked to sit there.
"My dead friend, let me get straight to the point~"
Dragunov took out a gun from inside his suit and pointed it at Ezekiel, it was a classic revolver with a obviously customized hilt as it had a tiger in it.
"Did you sell us out to the police?"
CLACK
The sound of the revolver being readied made Ezekiel shiver a bit but he kept his smile of facades and answered in a cheery tone.
"Nope~ No idea about that~ Lucky bastards amirite?"
BANG
A bullet grazed Ezekiel in the face making him bleed from his cheeks, Dragunov didn't like his answer so he asked again in a bit more serious and intimidating tone.
"Did you sell us out to the police? Ezekiel?"
Silence spread among the crowd as Ezekiel didn't dare answer and as if waiting for something he started tapping his feet, people thought he was getting nervous but what they didn't notice despite the overbearing silence is that each tap of his feet masked a certain sound.
(TAP) TING
(TAP) TING
(TAP TAP TAP) TING TING TING
BOOOOOSH
"SMOKE GRENADES!"
A large amount of smoke exploded and Ezekiel took it as a chance to escape Dragunov saw this and show a few rounds at where Ezekiel previously was hoping for a hit but to his dismay a rather crude reply was given instead.
TADADADADA
Rifles fired and the men with Dragunov took cover and fired back as well, they started dialing in their phones and shouted 'backup!' while firing back occasionally unbeknownst to them a certain rival group came from the opposite side of their flanks.
...
Ezekiel ran for his life a soon as the smoke spread and headed towards a nearby crate to hide, he breath a sigh of relief as the police finally came and if they were here then the Mohawkians were also coming so he sat still behind the crate as several sounds of guns shooting made him a little excited.
"Damn, Mohawkians brought their whole force huh?"
Ezekiel was watching like a kid watches a cartoon on the 3 way war in the factory, the only reason he likes his current unofficial job was 'easy pay, lots of fun' as his mentor said. He wanted to find a place higher so he could see more of the battle as the smoke was getting thicker, he crouched and went behind a large crate to find a ladder heading up to the 2nd floor rails.
"That's a nice place to hide and watch"
Ezekiel grinned and begun to climb up, but as he was on the top a 'minor' accident happened.
RIIIING
"Wha-?!"
A phone call distracted Ezekiel who was very jumpy and the results were him letting go of the ladder and falling down from a high place straight to his back, he was in a lot of pain and he immediately groaned in pain. Luckily however it wasn't that high so he managed to stand back up.
"Stupid ladders! No, wait stupid phone!"
Ezekiel brought out his phone and glared at it.
BANG
TONK
It was mere seconds, one moment he was glaring at his phone and the next he heard a bullet shot not far from him and it somehow ricocheted into his phone making it blow up and catching the attention of others.
"GRENADES!"
A police shouted and started shooting at the area of Ezekiel, and because of it the now distracted and terrified Ezekiel laying on the floor could only watch as a crate, a very heavy create was somehow shot and is now falling to his head.
"What a stupid way to d-"
SPLAT!
...
Activating Special System A.I In 3....2.....1....
Ezekiel opened his eyes, and to his surprise he wasn't dead, or so he would like to think but he wasn't exactly a stranger to this sort of isekai stuff.
[Zeke Leypax]
[LVL -1]
[Lore = ???]
STR = 3
MAG = 8
AGI = 3
VIT = 2
DEX = 3
SKILLS
Blessings of Eariga - Host is granted a unique system and an A.I to go along with it. EXP gained is x2 and free points gained is also x2
Ezekiel stared at the absolutely familiar blue screen in front of him and then his surroundings, he was in a flat grassland and the air was also comfortable. The grass were flailing around and moving in accordance to the wind, Ezekiel felt relaxed and decided to stay where he was to somehow digest all that has happened.
"System?"
[...]
Ezekiel raised an eyebrow and looked towards his left in an attempt to hear a reply, but there was none so Ezekiel was about to call out again when.
[Ahem, excuse me, sorry for the delay~ I'm your system Firaga~ Glad to be with you for a lifetime!]
Ezekiel squinted and glared at pretty much, air really, for others but for him it was the blue screen in front of him. He was silent and he made a quiet 'hmm'
[... Hello?]
"Shut up, I'm trying to remember if I made some kind of deal with a goddess that removes my memory of being reincarnated! Don't be useless and help me somehow"
The Firaga was dumbfounded, not only was she scolded out of the blue, but she, the system was also warned not to be useless despite being everything but useless. Firaga was hurt and started melodramatically playing a sad song along with her mumbles.
[I'm a system, a system created to be useful but somehow this host of mine scolded me and told me not to be what I can't be... Is this how my life will be? I wanna quit already]
Ezekiel was trying his hardest to knock some sort of memory from his brain aside from the ones he already has, he had the memories of being born here until now which was mysteriously blank near the end and the memories of his past life which was blank after the crate fell.
"Both has blank spaces, but my memories from this world is unnecessary as I want to know about how I got here instead"
Ezekiel decided to stop thinking already and finally stood up and took a look around his surroundings. To his left was a forest and to his right was more grasslands and some mountains farther away.
[I recommend going further to your right and find some low level mosnt....]
'I've seen too much of this trope that I know the first thing the protagonists does is... be lucky in the forest'
Ezekiel placed two fingers at his chin and started nodding on his own ignoring the system's advice. He took gradual steps straight to the forest as if he's contemplating about something and that is because he's without any other goals but be lucky.
...
???, Forest, ???
Ezekiel was staring at a particular plant, it was very familiar to him and he sure as hell would not mistake that 'weed' for anything else, yes it was indeed the same ones he smoked back in his past life.
"System what's this plant?"
Firaga was excited, she finally called upon her host after a while! She, unlike her human host, had a goal and it was to not be called useless again.
[That's a Illusioan Plant, a very potent hallucinogen when raw and often used for medicines and sleep gases!]
Ezekiel stared at the plant for a few minutes, he wanted to try and get high but he wasn't sure if he could smoke that without fire and then an idea popped into his head. He took two leaves of the plant and ripped the first one to shreds and placed them in the other leaf and rolled it, getting a miniature cigarette.
"Shit, I don't have a lighter..."
[Umm, host? Can you please explain what you are trying to do with the Illusioan plant?]
"I plan to get high but I don't have a lighter so... Hey how can I use fire magic?"
Ezekiel had a sudden idea and it was essentially killing 2 birds with one plant, first he can get high and second he can see how magical this 'isekai' really is but to his disappointment the system only had warnings to spare.
[Host, I don't recommend wasting your one chance for magic on a whim]
Ezekiel wanted to smoke so badly right now despite being at a kid-like body, he couldn't exactly guess as he had no mirror but he knew he was a child.
"What do you mean?"
[Magic in Eariga is considered as a source of entertainment and livelihood and at the same time it defines a being, as each and every person would only be granted a chance to learn one element in his whole life usually. There are some special cases but the most it ever has gotten was 3, and that was a million of years ago. I don't recommend spending your single chance of learning an element without thinking about it, it's better to think deeply and decide what element would suit you for your lifetime journey in this worl-]
[New Skill Learned: Basic Fire (low)]
"Cool, what was that again?"
[A...ah..ahh...]
Ezekiel placed the leaf cigarette he created to his mouth and lit up one side of it and inhaled as deep as he can, though much to his disappointment.
[Minor Ailments Detected, Eliminating...Eliminating Success Body at 100%]
Staring at his screen was all he could do but he didn't give up and inhaled another deep one.
[Minor Ailments Detected, Eliminating...Eliminating Success Body at 100%]
Sadly the same messaged appeared and he could only sigh as it seems he can't get high if that's the case. Regardless Ezekiel still continued smoking the miniature thing while walking around the forest testing more of his luck until he remembered something about his data.
"System Status"
[Zeke Leypax]
[LVL -1]
[Lore = ???]
STR = 3
MAG = 8
AGI = 3
VIT = 2
DEX = 3
SKILLS
Blessings of Eariga - Host is granted a unique system and an A.I to go along with it. EXP gained is x2 and free points gained is also x2
Basic Fire (low) - Basic Fire magic, low level control as hot as a every other fire there is and can deal as much damage as any other average fire joe
'I guess that fire really is considered a skill, but back to the main thing...'
"What's this lore?"
[It's...the story of your current body, the one unknown to your memories]
Ezekiel was a little confused if it was missing from his memories why am I allowed to see it here?
[Lore Unlocked: Zeke the Branch Prodigy]
"Interesting..."
Ezekiel or Zeke was grinning as this lore meant info, and info was very juicy for a info-broker like him. Aside from the system anyways that thing is quite useless.
[...]
Yes, it is useless for now, I hope.
