33 Time, Patience, Effort

(Lyn Pov)

I finally worked up my courage to talk to others about the things I have been thinking about recently. I'm still not comfortable with the idea of sharing these thoughts with my parents or any of the other adults.

So I have mainly been talking to my friends about the things I am thinking about. They haven't agreed with the way I see things, so that makes me feel a little bad.

I finally decided to talk to Morgan today about these thoughts. He always seems to have the answers to whatever questions I may have. But, I'm a little scared to hear his answer.

"Yes, I do. As of this moment you have my undivided attention, don't worry you can take as much of my time as you want. So what do you want to talk about Lyndis?"

I was not ready for him to look directly into my eyes with such a calm and serious face. How does he do that? No matter what happens, he always knows how to properly respond to any situation. It's like he already knows what I want to talk about.

"It's okay you can take your time. I will wait until you are ready to share your thoughts."

Why am I hesitating? I shouldn't be afraid, Morgan just wants to help me. He may be a joking and easygoing person, but I can rely on him when I need to.

"Morgan, do you think women ca-"

"Yes. Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt, keep going."

"Do you think a woman can do the same things a man can?"

"Yes."

The first time he interrupted me, and the second time he answered really quickly. Did he even think about my question? Does he want to get rid of me as fast as he can?

"Can you think about my question a bit more? Please give this some more thought, this is important to me."

"Doesn't matter how much time you give me to think. My answer will be the same, and nothing will change my mind."

Did he hear the question correctly? I can't believe his answer. I asked the other girls this, and I'm surprised that they didn't even agree with that idea. Morgan is the first boy I asked this question, and I'm surprised that he agrees with me.

Why does he sound so confident? How is he so sure that women can do the same things a man can? Has he seen or met someone that made him believe in that idea so strongly?

"Why do you believe so strongly in that idea?"

"I think it might be easier for the both of us if you tell me the reasons why you are doubting yourself. One by one we will talk about them, then I'll tell you the way I see things and why I see them that way. Is that good for you?"

"Yes."

"Let's start with the thing that is giving you the most doubts. Think about it for a moment if you need to."

I take a deep breath and try to gather thoughts.

"I talked to the other girls, they told me that there are things that a man will be good at and things women will be good at. All of them said to me that a man will naturally be stronger, faster, and will make better leaders.

They then told me about the things they thought we could do better than any man. They said we are better at making things because we are better with our hands. They said we are better at taking care of others or making others feel better.

The one that bothered me most was they said that we are good at managing and keeping things under control. But they did not mean we can be good leaders, they meant we would be better at leading a family and not a group.

I don't remember all the things they said to me, but these were the things they mentioned the most."

"Okay, I hear what you are saying. I'll start with the idea that men are naturally stronger, faster, and better leaders than women. There is some level of truth to what they said, but that does not mean a woman can't be as strong, as faster, or as capable of a leader as a man can.

A woman can do nearly everything a man can if they have 3 things. No, I think it's more accurate to say that if you have these 3 things, you can do nearly anything you set your mind to. These 3 things are time, patience, and effort.

Think about the things you are good at now. Were you always good at doing those things? I will admit some things may or may not come easy to you. But does that mean you will always be bad at doing those things?

Does that mean no matter how much you try you won't get any better? Think about your own life and the things you have done. Do not say anything to me, you are answering this question for yourself, not me. I'll give you some time to think before I answer the rest of your doubts."

Time, patience, and effort. The thought of being able to do anything I want if I have all of 3 these things sounds very nice to me. He does have a point, I wasn't always good at the things I am great at or things that I like doing.

Sometimes I improved quickly or I improved slowly, but I still had to put in a lot of effort to get to the point I am at now. The example I keep thinking about is the time I spent learning how to use a sword from my father.

I always thought the sword was a beautiful-looking tool especially in the hands of my father. That made me different from the other girls, they didn't see what I did. I still like some of the same things as them, but I can't help being different.

I saw a sort of grace in my father's movement, the way the sword shines as he moves also looked beautiful to me. I wanted to be able to do that so I asked him to teach me.

There were a lot of things I had to learn and there were times I wanted to give up. But seeing how happy he was teaching me convinced me to keep going.

I'm still learning the basics and I have a long way to go, but I am getting better. I just need to put in the effort to learn, the patience to keep going, and the time to do it all. The more I spend thinking about it, the more I like the way Morgan sees things.

"Judging by that smile on your face you thought of something that makes you happier. That's good, the sad unconfident look doesn't suit you. Alright let us talk about the second thing you mentioned, the tasks women can do better than men.

The things men can do better or women can do better, that's all related to what you are taught to do. Boys are taught from an early age to be protectors and providers. To live in the plains, you need to hunt down animals, and you need to know how to fight to protect what you want.

To do that we need the strength, speed, and skill to beat our opponents. So we are taught skills to help us do those things. We are also encouraged to break through our limits by challenging those stronger than us.

That's the reason why the boys are stronger and faster than you girls. We were taught and trained to be that way. Meanwhile, you girls were taught how to make clothes, dyes, and other sorts of things.

To create those things you need to have hands that allow you to make careful and precise movements. And when you keep doing something for a long enough time, your body changes to make doing those tasks easier.

We can talk about the other things another day if you want, but do you understand what I am saying? It's okay if you don't entirely understand, but give it some thought."

"I kind of understand what you are saying."

"Quick question, I know you are not the type of person to stay silent when you hear something you disagree with. So, what did you say back to them when they gave you the answer you didn't like?"

He knows me too well. I did say something back to them and the girls had trouble coming up with a reason to disagree with what I asked them. I want to tell him what I said, but that confident smile is making me angry.

I'll tell him, but only because I want him to answer a couple of more things.

"I asked them if they are better than you at using their hands. I asked them If they are better than you at cheering people up or making sure they get the help they need. If they know how to keep things under control better then you can.

When I said all of that, none of them could say that they were better than you at all of those things. All they could say was that you were different or an exception. How are you able to do all of those things? How do you know what to do in every situation?"

"You overestimate me Lyndis. I am a just person who has tried more things and failed more times than all of you. Failure isn't a bad thing, it forces you to reflect on your actions. You not only learn from those mistakes what to do, but you can also learn a lot about yourself.

The reason why I know what to do in most situations is that I've experienced something similar in the past. Things are so much easier when you have an idea of what to do or what not to do. There are also times I don't know what I am doing or just feel lost.

You just haven't seen me when I am feeling that way and it's nobody's fault, but my own. I am very good at hiding my thoughts, emotions, and actions. Even if you do find something, I will convince you that nothing is wrong or that you were mistaken."

"Why do you hide what you are feeling?"

"One of my biggest flaws is that I care too much about the people I love. I refuse to be a burden to them, but it has gotten to the point where I won't even let them worry about me. I know it's wrong, but this is what I want to do and feel is right."

I can understand the idea of not wanting to be a burden to the people you love, but he is going too far. Not letting others worry about him is dangerous, but what can I do? He also knows it's wrong. I can disagree with him, but it would be wrong to tell him what he can or can't think.

I have one more question for him, this is what I want to know most.

"I have one more question for you."

"Alright, go for it."

"Have you seen or met a woman that proved to you that they were your equal?"

For the first time in my life, I see Morgan unable to say anything back. His face didn't change, but his eyes lost their focus for an instant. He is still looking at me, but it feels like he isn't seeing me.

He closes his eyes for a moment. When he opened his eyes, I saw that they returned to normal. If I wasn't carefully watching his eyes, I would have missed that small change. It's scary how fast he recovered from the shock.

"No."

That's a lie. He wouldn't react that way if he wasn't lying to me, but it looks like he does not want to talk about it. As he said, if he doesn't want you to know what he is thinking then he won't let you know.

"Sorry, that's not what I meant to say. I am not arrogant enough to say no one is my equal. What I meant was I haven't acknowledged a woman as my equal yet. Wow, that still sounds just as bad. How do I explain this without looking like a fool?

I know that there are people who are stronger than me and more skilled than me. But I believe that one day I will catch up to them and it is also possible for me to overtake them. I also believe that everyone else has the potential to do the same thing to me.

I acknowledge that idea, but for me to personally recognize someone as my equal they have to do either one of two things. The first one is they have to give me a challenge, the result doesn't matter as much to me.

If they can beat me I will accept my defeat and acknowledge their abilities. It's also fine if they lose. As long as they can make me feel something or make me work for the victory, then I can acknowledge them as my equal.

I believe if I want to be treated a certain way, then I should treat others the way I want to be treated. So if I want others to respect and recognize the hard work I have done, then it's only fair if I respect and recognize the hard work of others.

The second option is a lot harder to achieve in my opinion, they have to make me doubt myself. I am a person who is very confident in myself, my ideas, and my abilities. The moment I doubt myself, they become my equal.

There are a lot of ways they can do that, but I do not want to confuse you. Just know that it isn't about the strength or abilities of a person. It's about them as a person, and what they mean to me. I'm sorry for not being clear, I hope that helps you understand what I meant."

"No, it's okay. I think I understand, but I need to think about it on my own. See you later Moron."

"If you ever need to talk to someone I'll be here."

Talking with Morgan made me feel better about myself. He not only agreed with me, but he explained why he believes it is possible. He used what the girls said to me as examples to support his ideas.

He explained why things are the way they are, and why it's possible for me to do the same things others can. There is only one thing that is bothering me and I can't stop thinking about it.

What did he think about at that moment? Why did he have to lie?