20 Even The Best Laid Plans Have Their Flaws

(Morgan Pov)

I finally finished my morning routine and it was tougher than yesterday's routine, but I can still handle the pain with enough willpower. I learned a lot on my first full day with the tribe, despite not spending much time socializing.

I learned that the tribe is made up of 13 families, so that means 26 adults are making sure things are running smoothly. I also learned that there are 17 children in this tribe, 18 if we include me. That's a lot of children to keep track of, that's basically an entire classroom.

With that many children, the idea that you lose sight of one of them isn't too far-fetched. Still, the adults are here to make sure everyone is safe. The men of the tribe are good hunters and trackers, so naturally, they make sure everyone is safe.

I don't know which child went missing yesterday, but I can assume that they found them quickly. To help out I did a headcount of all the children, and all 19 of them were there in the campgrounds safe and sound. The adults here are on top of everything and very reliable.

I should get ready to play with magic, I check my surroundings to see if anyone isn't nearby. I am not sure if breathing in the residual traces of dark magic in the air can harm the people nearby.

Kind of like secondhand smoke, I haven't practiced around anyone else besides my master. Even if it did, he wouldn't feel anything considering he is quite literally the master of darkness itself. Just to be safe I need to make sure people aren't nearby.

Oh, this awkward I have a straggler here with me. I see a loli wearing blue sitting down on a rock observing me. And now she is waving at me. Should I wave back? I should wave back, I don't want to be rude. I should also do the thing, yeah that'll destroy this awkward situation.

I wave at her, I smoothly transition into placing both hands next to each other and move them away from each other. I can see the amazement in her eyes when the twinkling rainbow appears between my hands. I see her clumsily and slowly clapping at my spectacular trick.

"My pleasure."

I take a bow, and then I walk towards her. The loli understands art when she sees it, I remember dying from laughter after I saw that episode of Spongebob. I see her trying to imitate what I just did. I remember trying to do the same thing in my childhood. But thanks to magic, I can finally live out some of my fantasies and I can use it for some elaborate jokes.

We are pretty far away from the campgrounds, her parents must be worried if she is gone for too long. So who does little munchkin belong to, I should ask her what her name is. I wanted to help in yesterday's search, so I memorized the names of all of the children here.

"What's your name, little lady?"


Yin? That is a name I haven't heard yet, and it doesn't match any of the names on my list. Maybe I didn't hear her correctly, just to be sure I'll ask her again. I get closer to her and stick my ear out.

"I didn't hear you, what's your name? A little louder please."


Fuck that hurt! I wasn't expecting her to yell directly in my ear. Well, I did ask for it, but at least I didn't mishear her. Yin? Maybe she can't say her name properly? Think, what names have yin or in as syllables. There is only one name on my list that fits the bill. Did she mean to say, Lyn?

If so this little girl might be Lyndis, Hassar's daughter. One thing I learned about Hassar, it is that he is a massive daughter-con. Throughout the journey back to the tribe, he told me a lot about how adorable his daughter is. Nothing wrong with that, just a bit unexpected for a guy like him.

Now that I am closer, I can confirm that she is indeed Hassar's daughter. She has Hassar's forest green hair, but then again, so do most of the men and women of the tribe. What really clued me to her identity is her eyes, her green eyes.

Most of the people in the tribe have forest green hair and dark green eyes, but Madelyn's eyes are a different shade of green. Her eyes are just a bit lighter, but they remind me of the emerald jewelry my mother owned. And Lyn's eyes are the same as her mother.

"Hello there Lyn, my name is Morgan."


~Oh, I love this little girl already. She has just met you, and she already knows exactly what kind of person you are. I am never letting you live this down …Moron. Look at her, look at her pure smiling innocent face, can you be angry at that face?"

No, I can't and I hate it! You can see the innocence in her eyes and I can feel the pride emanating from her. She thinks she pronounced my name correctly, and I think she is proud of the fact she didn't stutter saying my name. But, she has no idea what she has done to me.

"Say it again, it Morgan, Mawr-guh en."


~Why are you being so mean to her, she is saying it right, Moron.~

I don't need your cheeky ass to retort to what she is saying! Stop laughing at me you bitch! Why can't she pronounce my name correctly? Is it because she can't pronounce the g sound? Or is it because my luck stat is at 0? She is pulling my shirt, what does she need?

Okay, I see her making weird gestures trying to communicate with me. I was never good at charades, so this is going to be rough. Okay, so she is frantically moving her hands.

"Do you want anything to eat?"

Okay, that was wrong, even my dumbass can tell what shaking your head side to side means.

"You want to go home? No? What do you want then? Do you want water? You want a skull? Unlimited power? 3 wishes? World peace? Immortality?"


~Wow you are really bad at this Moron. Try paying closer the movement of her hands.~

Okay, I deserve it this time, those last few guesses were pretty bad. Wait she is doing something with her hands. I know this, this is the wave, she wants me to do the thing again. I place my hands together and do the thing.


"My pleasure."

"Want me to do it again?"


Alright, what is this bullshit? I thought she couldn't pronounce the g sound, but here she is, saying it perfectly. Should I take this as a sign the universe is fucking with me? I think I will, just for that I am going to be petty.

"I'll do it again, if you show me a trick I can't do. Show me a trick. A trick."

It is taking a while for her to process what I just said, but I think she knows what a trick is. She sticks out her tongue, she turns it to the left, and then she turns it to the right. Oh, so you think you're better than me little girl? You just had to show me up, and make me eat my words.

Out of all the things you can show me, you show me something I can't physically do. Well played kid. I was being petty, but you did clear my criteria. I will be a man of my word, even if it kills me. I will show you the biggest rainbow I can make, time to go into MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE!


MY EYES, AGHHHH THE PAINNN! I made it too bright in the background, which means I hit myself with a flashbang. It hurts so much, I want to cry, but an entertainer must never show his tears to his adoring fans. Be a man Morgan, tough it out, don't be a bitch.

"Gan, Moron."

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"Sure, just don't look at my face or say my name. Please, I don't need this to be my childhood nickname. Call me Morg."


"I'll take what I can get. Lyn, look at this magic bird."

I made a crude bird shape out of the rainbows, and sent it flying towards her. I make it fly around her for a bit. She wants to grab the bird, but every time she gets close I make it fly just out of her reach. This is kind of fun, watching her jump trying to catch the rainbow birdie.

~Stop bullying the loli you monster! What do you plan to do with her?~

After she is tired running around, I will take her back to her parents. That's about it.

~Morgan I need you to answer this question honestly. What do you think about this little girl's mother? How would you rate her appearance? Is she your type? Your answer decides your fate.~

Fine, I'll say it, I would classify her as a MILF. I could rate her a solid 7.5/10 just on her appearance alone, she has the proportions I look for in a woman. I just met her, so I don't know what type of person she is. I won't rate her any higher for this reason alone.

Am I enamored with her? No, not all. I'm just into older women, specifically the ones who are very well developed. Before you ask, I blame my father for this. He married someone older and way out of his league, his words not mine. It was only natural that he indoctrinated me to believe that older women are superior.

~Good, then that means we can start step 1 of the Hikaru Genji Plan. This little loli has the potential to be what you are looking for.~

Who the hell is Hikaru Genji? And how unique was his plan, that it is named after him.

~Alright, Hikaru Genji is the protagonist of The Tale of Genji. The first thing you need to know about Genji is his deep obsession with Lady Fujitsubo, who was his childhood crush, and his stepmother. The second thing you need to know is that Genji married Fujitsubo's niece, her name was Murasaki.

This is where Genji's master plan comes into play, Genji kidnaps Murasaki, and raises her to be his ideal woman. He did this because Murasaki resembled Fujitsubo, and he desperately wanted to find his ideal half. And the insane part is, he succeeded with this asinine plan.~

That man is a legend, how did he manage to do that. What he did was creepy, but that is some serious dedication to creating your very own waifu. People are very impressionable, so at any point, Murasaki could have strayed away from Genji's ideal woman. Genji must have been some kind of genius or master manipulator to make that didn't happen.

~You said it yourself, Madelyn has the proportions you look for in a woman. Do you want to take this chance to create your perfect waifu for laifu? This loli has the genes to become like her mother or better, are you not tempted at the prospect.~

I discovered a glaring flaw in Genji's master plan.

~What is it? If you aren't confident in implementing the plan, you will have my support. I will make sure everything goes perfectly, all you have to do is agree to the terms of service.~

You see Genji's plan is great and ingenious in its own, but there is a fundamental issue in his plan. To enact Genji's plan, you not only need to have an ideal version of a lover on your mind, but you also need to be obsessed with that ideal image to make sure the plan works.

Personally speaking, I don't have an image of what my ideal woman is. I may have preferences for the size of certain body parts, but I can live without them. I am a simple man, I only have one requirement, and that is they have to be a woman.

I will take any girl, and I mean ANY girl I can successfully trick into having a relationship with me. I do not need an ideal partner, I know what type of person I am. What I need is a miracle to even get a partner, and then I have to do my best to not fuck it up like my past relationships.

~Wasn't expecting you to be this desperate. I mean wouldn't you be even more inspired to follow Genji's plan.~

There is also the fact that nearly anything I plan relating to my love life, will inevitably go wrong. I don't know what The Tale of Genji was like, but my background and personality will create a different story.

Think about it, the dark magic practitioner desperate for love finds a little girl and raisers her to be his ideal woman. Then you add my personality to the mix and the story could be considered a horror novel. Then you add the Chemical X that is my luck, and what do we get?

With my luck instead of creating the perfect wife, I will end creating the perfect murderer. I don't know if she will kill me out of revenge for something I did to them. There is also the possibility that I fucked up the process of trying to make them yandere.

~Don't make them a yandere then you dumb fuck, play it safe.~

No, if I have to do the Genji plan, I have to try to make them yandere. There is only one ideal quality I want and that is they have to be a yandere. They can have any personality type and they don't need to have my preferred body type, if the girl is a yandere then I am going for it.

I don't want to die, but if I have to choose a way to die. I want death by yandere. I want my death to be full of passion and blood. If she can do that for me, then she has my blessing to do whatever she wants with my body. Who knows maybe I can haunt her if she does something to my corpse. The nice boat ending is sweet in its own twisted way.

~You are irredeemable!!! You passed the test, so please stay away from the innocent loli.~

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