21 Lunch with Mom

[TRIGGER WARNING!!! R-18 Themes of sexual violence. May cause discomfort and potentially distressing material. Reader discretion is advised.]

When I walk into the house, I see them and they're laughing?

"You've certainly been through some adventures, Mrs. Cyrene"

"Please, call me Cecilia."

"Only if you call me Will."

Standing in the doorway, I feel my jaw hit the floor. What in tarnation is going on here?

"Oh Astra, you're back. I was thinking we should take Will out for lunch."

"Actually mom we-"

"Would love nothing more." Will says interrupting me.

"Let me go get dressed and we'll go. There's a great place and it's only an hour from here."

I wait till she leaves the room to whisper my questions.

"What was that Will?"

"I told you I'd handle your mother. She's being handled."

"Cecilia? Lunch? What is going on?"

"You want her handled or not?"

"Of course I want her handled."

"Then I need you to trust me. I got this far didn't I?"

"Yes, you did."

"Then trust me."

"Fine."

"I have to be honest with you Astra. Your mom, she told me some stuff about you."

Dread enters my heart when I hear those words. I have a feeling I know what he's going to say. I feel a golf ball lodged in my throat but I try to check my emotions.

"What kind of things did she say?"

"She told me what happened to you."

"Everything?"

"As far as I know, yes."

My heart turns cold when I hear these words. I'm no longer in the cabin. I'm back there again. I'm in the shower. It's the only place where he'll leave me alone. I'm scrubbing my hair and trying to work my way down my body. I feel disgusted. It's vile. I want him off of me. While I'm scrubbing he enters the shower. No, why can't he just leave me alone.

"You're not doing it right. Give it to me."

As he scrubs my body it feels like he's pulling my hair out of my head. He leaves red marks all over my body. He's just putting himself all over me again. He starts touching me in a different way this time. My efforts to wash him off of me went to waste. It hurts. I want to throw up. Why can't he stop?

"Astra. Are you ok?"

Looking at Will, I feel nothing but the show must go on. No one can know what I'm feeling. I reach into my box of fake emotions and grab my happy mask. It's my go to for when I feel like this. With this mask no one questions how I'm feeling. I paste my smile on and start laughing.

"I'm fine."

"You don't seem fine."

"I'm good, really."

"Astra, if you need to talk-"

"Listen, can we talk about this later. I don't want to do this right now."

"Okay, we'll talk later but we are going to have to talk."

"That's fine. Can I ask you a favor?"

"Sure."

"Don't bring this up with my mother or anyone else. For my sake?"

"I would never."

"Thank you."

As we finish talking, my mother walks out.

"What's taking you so long, Astra? We're waiting on you!"

"I'm ready when y'all are."

We decide to leave the dogs at the cabin since they're not going to let us bring dogs to a steakhouse. Will insists on driving us and my mother doesn't put up much of a protest. The ride is long and drawn out. My mother splits her time between talking about herself, all the accomplishments she's made through me and fawning over Will. I sure hope Will has managed to convince her that we just have a boss and employee relationship cause if not we're both in trouble. I can see her tallying up how much he's worth as they talk.

Once we arrive my mother spends about 10 minutes finding a table so we can have a view of the lake. Once we're finally seated and our poor server arrives, I'm tempted to order a shot. My mother proceeds to spend another 10 minutes asking about different drinks and getting samples before she orders a cabernet. She convinces Will to drink with her so he orders a bottle not knowing she's a lightweight. I stick with a soda since I don't know how much Will can drink. I listen to them chat while I look at the menu.

"So tell me how long have you been acting?"

"I've been acting since I was a child but I didn't break out until I was twenty."

"You were in that dystopian movie weren't you? What was it called again?

"The King's Beloved."

"Ah yes! Astra was such a huge fan of that series when she was younger. You know she was actually team Elliot."

"What! No, I wasn't."

Hiding behind my menu, I can feel myself turning red. Hearing Williams booming laughter, I get irritated and take a peek. He's been faking his smile most of the day but this one is genuine. Oh well. If my embarrassment can bring that beautiful smile to his face, I guess it's worth it then.

The waiter comes back around to check on us.

"Hey, just wanted to come and check on you guys and see if you're ready to order."

"I'm ready if y'all are," I reply while looking at Will and mom.

Anything to get them to stop talking about my days as a The King's Beloved fan. I still am one, but I'll never admit it to anyone. They agree and we all order.

"I'll have the filet mignon medium with the demi glace and a double side of potatoes au gratin," I say while handing over my menu.

"Don't you think you're gaining a little much weight, Astra? Why don't you try a vegetable instead or a salad?"

Why does my mother always do this? I just want to love my body the way it is. I'm not even fat and even if I was it it doesn't matter. I just want to feel beautiful the way I am.

"I'll have the same as her." Will says as he hands the menu to the server.

We both look at him in surprise. What are the odds we'd order the same exact thing.

"And for you ma'am?"

"What do you suggest?"

My mother proceeds to spend another 10 minutes questioning the server until she finally settles on a garlic herb filet mignon cooked rare with potatoes au gratin and asparagus. Once she's done ordering, I excuse myself. Pausing by the mirror in front of the bathrooms, I look at my figure. My stomach does look a little bigger. Is mom right? Am I getting fat? As I look in the mirror, I suddenly see the reflection of a man. He's here.