8 Chapter 8: Making Amends

Dear Diary

I had a dream once.

Brian and I were together, just like in reality, only in my dream, things were different. I wasn't the girl in school everyone either avoided or hated for no apparent reason. In my dream, Brian wasn't the most popular boy in school whom took the school to championships both years. I was simply a girl, he was simply a boy.

There was nothing special about the dream. We did what we did every day. Hung around each other, kissed, smiled at each other.

In my dream his happiness matched my reality. He was happy I was accepted into the same school as him, I was going for sports physician and he wanted to play professional basketball. Everything was perfect.

Until my dream turned into a nightmare.

- - - - -

"So, you and Brian hanging out today?" I nod my head at my father who looks genuinely exhausted this early in the morning.

"Spring break almost over, you guys didn't get a chance to spend a lot of time together." I nod once more then narrow my eyes when he yawns once again.

"Didn't get a lot of sleep last night?" Dad waves his hand and shrugs. Mom takes that moment to come downstairs and say good morning to us.

"Morning guys."

"Morning mom, Chrissy still sleeping?" She nods her head then walks over to dad and stares at him. He doesn't look up at her and I get the feeling he didn't sleep well because they may have been arguing.

"I'm going to go call Brian. He wanted to meet at his house today, so I'll see you guys later." I get no response from either parent but that normally happens when they fight. It's not often and when they do they always make up, but this morning feels different.

I make my way upstairs and grab my cell phone off the charger. It died last night, and I never thought about charging it after mom and I got home from work, so I plugged it in this morning and went downstairs to grab some breakfast.

It's Sunday morning and every part of me hates that in just a few days, our spring break will be over. Between Brian being busy with his family and Mona and I catching up, this week wasn't exactly easy for Brian and me to spend some time together. However, I plan on changing that today. Today is the day he wanted to talk, and I intend to give him all the attention he needs. It can't be easy telling your girlfriend something haunting about your past. My phone finally turns on and I see a few missed calls and texts from Brian.

Brian: Didn't you say you were going to your mom's shop to help out?

Brian: Hey babe, I miss you. Thought I could come by and help out too, that way we can spend some time together.

Brian: You're not answering, so I'm going to just stop by and see you.

Brian: You there? The door is locked, and the lights are down.

I immediately curse myself for not having my charger last night at mom's shop. After Derek left I went to call Mona and congratulate her about her new job, and that's when I noticed it had died. By the time mom and I got home around midnight, I was too tired to plug in my phone. I crashed as soon as my head hit the pillow.

I find Brian's name and hit the call button.

"Hello?"

"Brian?"

"Hey Jo..." His voice sounds unexpectedly distant and angered.

"Hey, sorry about the non-response yesterday, my phone died, and mom and I didn't get home till pretty late. You came by the shop?"

"Yep. Got a little surprise too."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I got there, the lights were dimmed, door was locked from the inside and Derek and you were huddled close together."

"What?" What could he possibly mean? Derek came by to place an order. Looking back, I do remember locking the door after he came in but that was because they were technically closed, and I didn't want other people to come in, the lights being down was a closing feature too. Happens automatically after a specific time.

"You don't remember being there with Derek last night?" His anger is evident but so is mine. How dare he give me an accusing tone.

"First off Brian. A real boyfriend would have asked me what happened instead of immediately assuming I did something wrong. You know me better than that." I hear a huff of air on the other end of the phone and know I can now tell my side of the story. "Derek came in last night to do a last-minute order for his family's business. He had no idea I worked there. He picked out the order, paid and left. Everything was locked and dark because he was the last customer."

I'm met with a moment of silence and I give Brian time to come to terms with my truth. He's not in front of me so I can't read him, but I believe I know him well enough to know he is going to understand. I would hate it if the roles were reversed and I walked in to him cuddled up with one of my friends, but it doesn't excuse his accusation.

"Fuck, you're right babe, I'm sorry. I jumped to conclusions when I should have just ran in there and kicked his ass." I laugh with him at his joke and settle onto the edge of my bed. "I just missed you and I was worried about us not really talking these last few days, then with my dad and this thing we're doing today-."

"You don't have to tell me Brian."

"What?"

"If it's something that will dredge up old memories and make you feel like I would look at you differently, then I don't need to know. I know who you are now, and that's all I need."

"I don't know what I did to deserve you Jolie Dorent." I smile and wipe at the tears threatening to fall.

"So, will you come and get me now before we spend the entire day hating that in a couple of days school will be starting again?"

"On my way babe."

- - - - -

"So, the mountain is called North Peak. It's like a huge trail they open up in the middle of spring and close it back up right before winter starts. I guess when it snows, it becomes too dangerous for even cars."

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when you two called me and told me you wanted the three of us to do something before school starts." I turn around with a smile on my face and laugh at Mona's dramatics. We have only been hiking for about ten minutes and she looks like she is ready to pass out.

"Mona, it's a trail, not like we're climbing a mountain rock to rock."

"Mountains aren't meant to climbed. They are meant to be looked at and wonder how far they are from your house." A laugh bubbles out of Brian's mouth and I join in with him.

After spending two hours with our lips locked together at Brian's house, we decided to get out of the house and get some lunch. We ran into Mona at the diner and invited her to spend the rest of the day with us. We didn't tell her at first what we were doing because new or old, Mona does not exercise.

We take our time, mainly because Mona threatens to snap Brian's knees if we don't and make our way to the small view point scoped out by previous hikers. It's a beautiful sight and the air is beginning to get nice and cool due to the sun is setting. I stand in the middle of both Mona and Brian and close my eyes for a moment basking in the glory of our surroundings.

Brian was appreciative of me not needing to know why his father was practically accusing me wanting their money. I don't know the back story, so I can't be upset with him not wanting to share, but that doesn't mean it isn't bothering me. I told Brian the truth earlier. He was all I needed, and I do trust him, I just don't want any more problems with his family.

"There is supposedly this cave a little further up. Nothing exciting, but it does come with a few ghost stories. A few hikers went up to it when they were our age and only one of the came out of it. Want to go take a look?" Brian laughs when Mona and I give him a 'are you kidding me' look. "Fine, stay here and I'll go and check it out."

"Maybe it's not a good idea to split up?"

"It'll be fine, just a hundred meters ahead of us or so. I'll check it out and be right back out." I smile when he kisses me on my cheeks and tells me to stay put.

After Brian heads out and is no longer in hearing distance, Mona sits down on a nearby makeshift rock seat and tilts her head in my direction. Darn this girl for being able to read me so well.

"So, what's going on Jo? You and Brian seem strange today." I shrug my shoulders but huff when she narrows her eyes on me.

"I don't really know. We aren't fighting or anything, but I feel like we aren't on the best of terms either."

"What happened?" I look over to the direction of where Brian went, then back to Mona.

"He thought something happened last night when I was helping my mom at her shop."

"What? Doesn't he know you sometimes help out?"

"Yes. He came to surprise me and bring me some food. Derek was there, door was locked, lights were low, and we were standing pretty close to each other. He thought he saw something that wasn't there."

"Oh boy. Wait, Derek? Branders?"

"Yes. He was ordering something for his aunt's business and had no idea I worked there. I'm guessing Brian came around that time.

"Wow. So, did he accuse you right then and there?"

"No. I called him the next day, not realizing my phone had died and that's when he told me what he saw."

"So, after you straightened him out, you guys decided not to tackle the elephant in the room about his past?"

"You think that's why I feel this way?" I didn't need to ask her, I knew why I feel so out of place. I wanted to know why Arthur thought I would be some conniving woman after his son's money, and because I felt so terrible about Brian's feelings, I bypassed mine.

"Jolie, you need to make sure you're happy and honest. Trust me, if you fake it till you make it with everyone around you, you will blow up one day. That's what happened with me."

"I'm sorry Mona, here I am talking about me and Brian once again and I haven't even asked you about your job or how it is living back at home with your dad."

"I'm your best friend Jo. It's alright to confide in me, but if you want to talk about me, you should know I am more than happy to oblige. Dad and I are still on strange tides with each other. He is beginning to slowly trust me, but I can still feel his little doubts when he is speaking to me. With college literally a few months away, I've given up trying to earn back his trust. I'll be in dorms come fall and in between that time, I plan on really finding myself. I love my father, and I know he loves me, but I don't want to feel like a stranger in my own home you know?"

I nod my head at my best friend and relish in how proud I am of her. She really has come a long way.

"I'm happy for you Mona. I'm so happy you are doing well. So, what's this job?"

"I work at a hospital." She laughs when I eyes nearly pop out of my head. "I know, I was as shocked as you when they called and told me they wanted to hire me. With my past, I knew getting in was a long shot. I had a record of prior drug use, but apparently after a few phone calls to my previous therapist, they decided to give me the job. I'm excited, it gives me some experience, which will help when I graduate college."

I smile at my best friend that is living proof that although life may throw some pains your way, you can always get past them and accomplish your goals.

Brian rejoins us a few minutes later telling us that the cave isn't very long and is mostly filled with homeless people's belongings. We decide to head down, since it's already getting dark and nothing good ever comes from three teenagers wondering around in the dark on a vacant mountain.

We are on our way to my house after dropping Mona off. My eyes begin drooping down slowly from the long and exhausting day we've had. I'm almost asleep when I hear Brian say something under his breath.

"What was that?" I turn over to him and he straightens up.

"I said, I want to talk about what happened the other night." This time it's my turn to straighten up as I am suddenly awake.

"You sure Brian? You don't have to. We've already talked about how I feel about the situation."

"I know babe. But I don't feel right keeping any secrets from you."

Brian pulls over to the side of the road about a block away from my home. The night is black and there are hardly any street lights out. A park across the street catches my eye as I stare at our surroundings.

"At my last school, I was popular, but not for anything good. They knew I played basketball, knew I was good, but I was popular because my parents had money."

I lean in a little closer and listen to his words. Brian is not a fan of his families money. He has never flaunted it in front of me, but I knew going in he was wealthy. Everyone at school knew who Brian Davis was, the moment was he stepped onto the grounds. His father being one of the best lawyers in the country helped with that and his mother had clients who were world famous. Seems like the only difference here was that this town finally had someone to take their high school basketball team to championships.

"There was this girl, Courtney Brooks. She was new to school and right off the back, I could tell something was wrong back at home. She would come to school with bruises around her face and neck, she wore dirty clothes, things like that." Brian pauses then looks over to me. I don't make a move or sound, intent on just hearing what he has to say. "I became friends with her she was nice, and kind and it felt good knowing I was getting her out of a bad environment."

Brian's throat bobs up and down and he pulls his gaze away from me and looks to his hands on his steering wheel. I know this is the part of the story that is going to be hard to swallow.

"One day she showed up at my house in the middle of the night. She snuck into my room and had more bruising on her arms and neck. She told me that her father beats her and that she needed my help. I suspected something was going on since I had seen her with similar bruises, so I agreed to help her. She told me she wanted to start over somewhere, somewhere her father couldn't find her. Told me about a relative she had in New Hampshire, but she didn't know them well, so she would need some starter money."

I lean back and survey his face once more. I now see where this story is going and his father's outburst the other night, or all the other times he has been very curt with me, makes since.

"Looking back, I should have seen the signs. I didn't have money, not much anyways, not what she needed. My parents always gave me a debit card tied to their account, but she told me she didn't want them to know. Told me that if parents found out she could be fostered. I knew my parents had some money in a safe somewhere in their room. I snuck inside one night they were out at a charity function, stole the fifteen grand, and gave it to her."

Shock registers across my face as I take in everything Brian said to me. Fifteen thousand is not the amount I thought he would say, but now that I know, I completely understand his father's apprehension.

"I had guilt about it, but I thought in my mind, I was helping a friend. She never called me again after that and a few days later, investigators came to our house. Turns out her and her father do this often. They are known in the country and go state to state with schemes. I fell for everything. Her lies, her deceit, her betrayal. What's worse is I drug my parents name and money through the dirt. Everyone at school talked shit, rumors spread around, and I couldn't take it anymore, so we moved."

"And that's why your father was so worried when you took me to meet them."

"Dad told me it was too fast and that I was probably doing the same thing to them again. I was hurt but I understand where he was coming from. We used to be close, him and me, but now, now he doesn't trust me, and I've stopped trying to persuade him. College is in a few months; our relationship is going to be strained and he doesn't even care."

I stare at the chocolate brown eyes I have always trusted, always confided in. This is the first time Brian has shown me an inkling of his past and I know it couldn't have been easy. His past is tainted with guilt and most likely heart break. To be someone's fool, to be there joke, is treacherous. It's a feeling I'm all too familiar with.

"Brian, thank you for sharing that with me. I see now why your father is protective of you and I'm sorry something that terrible could have strained your relationship with him. I hope you know, I don't see you in the same light as you see yourself." He looks at me in shock and I continue. "Brian, you have guilt, not because you stole that money from your family, but because you know that somewhere out there, someone in her real situation, could have used it. Let me ask you, if she was honest, and that really was what she needed, and you helped her, would you still feel guilty?"

Brian stared at his steering wheel once more then blows out a breath of air.

"No, I wouldn't have. I would have eventually been able to pay my parents back and I know my parents. With time, they would have seen the good in what I did, but I'll never forget the words that came out of the officer's mouth. I'll never forget the feeling I had that I not only was tricked but she used a story that people have as their reality every day."

"Then you have to make it right Brian. And I know just the way how."

"Oh yeah? How?"

"Mom used to go to this outreach center. It helps teens that are entering into adulthood find jobs and apartments and stuff. Mom came here when she was only eighteen because she was fleeing an abusive father and mother. Her reality was Courtney's lie. She took me there a few years ago to show me how bad some people have it. There isn't a lot of help out there for that age group, so it's easy for them to get lost. Maybe we can volunteer there? Go and help out for the summer or something?"

"How, I had no idea your mom went through all that. I love the idea of volunteering at a place like that. But you don't have to do it with me."

"I want to. I'm glad you opened up about your past to me, and I couldn't think of a better way to spend our summer."

I lean my head onto his shoulder and close my eyes when I feel his lips graze my forehead. I relish in the love I have for this man, and knowing his heart is made of gold, has not turned me off of him, it has increased the need I have for him.