171 The Burden Of The Wicked

Two days have passed since they finished the third Singularity, and Fujimaru could not be more glad about it. What he thought would be something light with pirates and stuff turned to be hell on earth with history's most renowned Heroes, Gods, and legendary monsters.

He was not ashamed to say that after the mandatory greeting he liked to do right after returning, he immediately went to his room and flopped into the bed. Safe to say, he slept for barely less than a day, and he still felt tired despite doing so.

Currently, he was going toward where Seth apparently was, going by Da Vinci's words. Mash informed him that the staff planned to do something special for Halloween, so he wanted to converse with him and ask the black-haired man if he wanted to summon their new Servants now... or at least in the next few days.

He thought of taking this opportunity to bond with them as soon as possible. Of course, this idea had also a little influence from a discussion he had before with Zhuge Liang. They both believed this to be the correct choice.

"The sooner you understand your own Servant, the sooner you will be able to use their full capacities in battle." That was what Caster had said to him, and quite frankly, he understood his reasoning.

Speaking of which, he had a talk with Mash a few hours ago. Fujimaru earnestly thanked her for everything she was doing to protect him, but he also told her that Kuro — he still preferred to call him like that — had helped them many times before and that he trusted him. He borderline pleaded at her to give him an opportunity, even if he had already proven himself.

It took a lot of convincing, but she finally relented, although she still seemed a little unsure. It warmed his heart that she worried so much about him, but he also understood that he had to stop being a good distance behind her. He needed to begin walking forward. Maybe not immediately stand beside her, but just one step ahead was more than enough.

Returning from his trip to memory lane, Fujimaru saw that he finally arrived at the room Da Vinci told him Kuro was in. What he didn't understand was the smirk she used when giving him that information.

Fortunately for him, that little doubt clarified itself when he opened the door. This... was something else. The room was decorated with victorian furniture everywhere. Some type of relaxing music echoed almost silently throughout the room, giving it a soothing feeling. However, nothing caught his attention more than the man calmly sitting with his legs crossed.

Gray slacks, long-sleeved and rolled up black shirt, reading glasses, and a ponytail that fell from over his shoulder and rested lightly on his left chest. Two streaks of hair hung on each side of his forehead. With a cigarette in hand, the man, sitting on a one-person couch, observed him with raised eyebrows. "What?"

"Who are you?" Before he could process any more information, his mouth had already gone ahead of him.

"Don't ask stupid questions you already know the answer to, kid." Seth rolled his eyes while taking a puff from his cig.

"No... sorry... it's just... what the hell?" Fujimaru was still struggling to form coherent thoughts, and no one could blame him for it. It was like putting a dog next to a giraffe and someone told you they are the same.

"Allow me to introduce myself, I am Chaldea's new psychologist. Pleased to meet you." The sarcastic tone and the way his eyebrows twitched were not lost to him, although he didn't understand why. Scratch that, he was probably very upset now.

"...Da Vinci forced you into this, didn't she?" For a moment, the light disappeared from Fujimaru's eyes as if remembering a traumatic experience.

"No. She offered me the job." Seth shook his head at the youth's question. Though he was a bit perplexed at his reaction. It seemed his first client had already shown himself.

"And you accepted?" His voice was laced with incredulity. It even made him pause and reconsider his choice for a moment.

"Yes. So now I have that," He pointed to a camera on the wall behind him, "to guarantee that everything goes as smoothly as possible and that I, quote-unquote, don't cause any trouble and do my job properly."

"Isn't that excessive? And no offense, but I took you for that kind of person who would throw Da Vinci out of a window right after she made that proposition." He was certainly not expecting this... but now he knew why their inventor had given him that look.

"I agree with you. This should be used on Romani. I heard he skipped his duties to watch a Livestream... whatever that is, of that idol of his. Leonardo had to pour out a cup of hot coffee on his head when she found him sleeping in the Command Room muttering "I will give you all the money you want if you sing for me one more time, Magi Mari~" or something like that. As for the job, I only accepted to do it in my free time. I have no qualms about it. Don't ask me why would they consider a mass murderer with mental issues for this position. I will never understand how those weirdos think." He gave a mild shrug as he reviewed some papers on the table in front of him.

"We can hear you!" A voice, clearly belonging to a pissed Da Vinci came from the camera on the wall, a camera that was shot down like a plane being impacted by a missile when the sitting man threw his cigarette at it without even looking back.

After sweatdropping at the action, he motioned with his finger to his current getup. Understanding, what he meant, Seth elaborated. "She chose this for me. Something along the lines of having to look professional and give a good impression to my patients. She said I couldn't do it while looking like I was ready to stab them as soon as they dropped their guard." 'I could do without the glasses, though...' He added inside his mind.

Nodding his head, Fujimaru remembered why he came here, so he decided to inform his fellow Master about it. "To tell you the truth, I wanted to ask you if you were ready to summon our next Servants. We could use the next festival as a way to build trust between each other, at least a little."

Seth paused in his actions. His red eyes moved from the papers in his hand to Fujimaru. His gaze was not threatening or heavy, yet the young man still felt a little pressured for some odd reason. "Sit."

Almost instantly, Fujimaru was already sitting on the opposite end of the short table on a couch identical to Seth's. "So you wanted to summon some Servants to bond with them, huh...? Then go ahead and do so."

The youth gave a puzzled look to his dry answer. "I was, and am going to. I was just asking if you wanted to do the same with me as we have done before. Ah, but of course, if you are busy with your new job it's totally understandable." He quickly added with some nervousness at the end.

"It is not that. Remember that I am doing this in my free time, and I decide when that is." Seth shook his head lightly while resting a cheek on his fist.

Fujimaru might not be the best at reading people, yet he saw the tiredness in Kuro's eyes as clear as day. It was not the physical or mental kind... more like spiritual? If that made any sense.

"Can I ask you a favor? You can have my soul if you want." He jokingly said, trying to lighten the mood, and going by his raised eyebrows, it didn't go very well...

"It won't happen." Seth suddenly said, much to his puzzlement.

"What do you mean?" His doubts must have shown on his face and voice because the black-haired man decided to further explain.

"What you are going to ask me. It won't happen." The way he was looking at him made Fujimaru think that whatever was going through his mind couldn't be hidden from the man's red eyes.

"But you don't even know what I am going to ask..." He shifted on his seat, trying not to let his nervousness show—something he failed spectacularly at.

"I do. We had a conversation about this on Okeanos." There it was. He knew exactly what the favor he had in mind was. Was him that easy to read? He silently wondered...

"I know you are going to interrupt me, but please just hear me out. You know this is more for you than for me." It was a low blow, that much he knew. And yet, he still tried to appeal to the other party's feelings... even if that seemed like an impossible task.

"And as the 'affected party' I get to decide how I want to handle the matter, Ritsuka." His calm visage did little to ease him. Instead, it only made him feel more uncomfortable somehow.

"...I just don't understand it, you know? If someone like me who is not good at these types of things can see it, then it must mean it's pretty obvious." It took a few seconds, maybe even a few minutes, but he was finally able to squeeze out those words.

"Loss is something I am accustomed to, kid. There is nothing to fuss about." As he put another cigarette in his mouth and lit it with a snap of his fingers, Fujimaru was able to see something in his demeanor. As if the man in front of him were the embodiment of experience. It was hard to explain, but not to understand.

"That you are accustomed to it doesn't make it less painful... right?" He didn't know where that question came from. He didn't want to ask that. Maybe his brain was playing tricks on him... maybe that question was also redirected at him...

That actually made him pause. Seth directed his gaze to the ceiling, seemingly finding something interesting to look at there. After what felt like an eternity, his eyes finally focused on Fujimaru again. "...No. No, it does not."

"Can I ask you a question, Seth?" The way he addressed him by his 'real' name surprised the Deity slightly. Nevertheless, he decided to humor him.

"If that means this topic is over, go ahead."

"...Did you love, Altera?" It was a last desperate attempt to make him revive her, and if this didn't work, then nothing would. However, there was a tiny bit of curiosity about what his answer would be there as well.

"No." He didn't miss a beat to deliver that clear-cut answer. It made Fujimaru blink his eyes in surprise. He truly thought— "I will only love one woman for the rest of my life. That will never change."

"However... I did like her. Who knows if it was in a friendly or more romantic way. Be that as it may, those feelings are the ones that are restraining me from summoning her again. As... someone that respected her, giving her a rest for her services is the least I can do."

"...Even if that isn't what she would want?"

"That's exactly one more question that you said you would ask." He responded with an even tone, completely disregarding his inquiry.

"It's just... I don't understand your thinking." The youth said after a sigh. He so desperately wanted to apply common sense, but it didn't seem to be working at all.

"It would be more surprising if you were able to. Now then, did you want anything else?" The tone he used clearly indicated that this was as far as they were going to this topic, and possibly the conversation as well.

"Not particularly. I just wanted to know if you had some stories from your early days. The Servants aren't the only ones I want to know more of, actually." And it was true. They hadn't been able to talk much after that previous incident in Okeanos.

"We can speak about that another day. Since Archer found out I could use water, he had been pestering me and Cu Chulainn to create some hot springs. Apparently, the feeling of nostalgia got to him, and he said it would be good for you to relax as well." He answered while shaking his head in obvious disinterest.

A little disappointment settled in at the first half of his sentence. However, the second part filled him with excitement. Quickly standing up, he went to exit the room. "All right! I will call Jeanne over. Romani told her you were here and she informed me that as soon as I finish I should inform her so she could speak with yo—"

"It all began when I was a little kid. Times were harsh and unforgiving." Fujimaru nearly tripped on his way to the door when he started speaking. Why did he have to be so obvious?!

"I thought you didn't want to talk about anymore for today." He said while a small drop of sweat was falling down his cheek.

"I change my mind quickly sometimes."

"I can see that..."

"Now, jokes aside, make it quick. I have other places to be." He added with an almost unnoticeable smirk.

"Right... Well, first, what is it like to be a God? Is it really that different from being human? Aside from the powers of course." He might or not be fanboying right now, but he really wanted to know.

Carrying the cigarette to his mouth before exhaling a cloud of smoke, Seth thought a little before formulating his answer. "To put it in simple human terms, we are savages. We do what we want regardless of what others may think. The concept of morality doesn't exist within us because that is something mankind invented. That is the reason why you sometimes see some pretty dark stuff on mythological records."

The Japanese Master nodded in understanding. "Did you...you know? Did you ever do something like that?" It was hard to be direct with this kind of topic, and he was painfully aware of that fact.

Seth shook his head in mild amusement at his intention of being tactful. "Depends on your outlook at things. Whatever thing out a nightmare you think of, I most probably have already done it."

"...Can I ask why?"

"Before I told you that I was accustomed to loss, right? And I confirmed that it was still painful nonetheless. Hard as it is to believe, as a kid, I was filled with... hope. I was cheerful. Although I had a sense of superiority, it wasn't arrogance. It was more like a desire to be useful. But... I was alone. Every other God in my pantheon shunned me and treated me as something undesirable. The only one who bothered to spend time with me occasionally was my brother. However, under the constant and watchful eye of my... progenitor, that time was always short. Eventually, he convinced my brother that I was better alone, and so alone I continued." He paused for a second to take a puff before noticing how Fujimaru was listening with rapt attention.

"As someone who was alone during his whole life, when I finally found people who were willing to stay by my side regardless of what other people said, I naturally treasured them with everything I had. Yet that... turned out to be a mistake. I walk in the boundary between good and evil, order and chaos. As such, I was extremely unstable. Sometimes I was compassionate, sometimes I was over-aggressive. You could say I was walking on a thin line." The Egyptian God's fist clenched, an action even he did not notice.

"The moment I lost them one by one, my mind simply collapsed and I ended up leaning to one side, something that should not be done. I went insane for thousands of years. I was like a machine automatically doing things that even in my bad days I would frown upon. If I had to put it in Servant terms, I would say that I acquired a level of Madness Enhancement that surpasses the EX Rank. Not even your worst horrors come close to imagine the things I have done when I was in that state." He finished while looking at the side with a lost gaze, seemingly reflecting on something.

"It must have been hard for you... Sorry that I brought up painful memories..." Way to go, Fujimaru! He mentally berated himself for his insensitivity. He didn't know he had such a story.

The black-haired man returning his gaze to the front and offered a kind smile that the youth didn't think was possible coming from him. "It is fine. I suppose I needed to get that out of my chest as well, so I should be thank—

A series of knocks interrupted his words.

"...Master, are you here?" And that voice completely killed his mood.