1 Prologue: Motherf*ckingly Cliché
"WHAT. THE. FUCK."
Those were the first words I found myself spitting out of my potty mouth.
"What in the flying lord's fucking dickhole is this?", I mumbled to myself as I stared at the irritatingly blue holographic screen that was floating before my face.
If my mother was here, she would have washed my mouth with a gallon of soap and then bleached it with another gallon, but I couldn't care less.
Glancing across my room, my eyes met the view I've seen countless times on my PC screen. One of the MC's many starting rooms of my favorite R18 dark fantasy action RPG.
An Arabian/Egyptian-mashup style room that consisted of white rock, probably comprised of either white calcium, quartz crystals, or limestone...like the white deserts of Egypt.
Oooooooooor maybe just some other fantasy material, no way I can know.
In that game, Dark Monsters: Reverse Rape Odyssey, or DMRO in short, you could choose a starting environment of sorts with tons of customization.
Meaning, you can choose what country you were born in, what sorts of starting skills you have, your appearance, your sex, and so on.
The story differs with each starting village/country/empire/union/federation/nation, and branches out even further with the butterfly effects caused by your near-infinite amount of choices.
Well, lucky me. The wiki for this game is already convoluted enough as it is, and I have no wiki right now....hahahahahahaha...
FUCK.
Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes and tried to recall what happened to me.
I woke up today in my bed. As always.
I brushed my teeth, ate cereal and an egg, and left for college. As always.
I waited for my bus at the bus stop. As always.
And something large, heavy, and pink rammed into me, sending me flying to the high heavens.
...That was new.
You don't get hit by a pink truck with the words 'Isekai Delivery Services' painted on its sides every day.
.....GOD FUCKING DAMN IT TRUCK-KUN!!!!!!!!!
Swearing at the absolute absurdity of it all, I glared at the accursed screen in front of me.
[NAME] Hashimtra
[SEX] Male
[RACE] Sand Walkers
[AGE] 18/120
[TITLE] Newbie Greener than my Turtle's Dick
[STATS] (E~SSS) Overall evaluation: PATHETIC MEATROD (D+)
➡STR (Strength): Weaker than a Chimp (E)
➡AGI (Agility): Faster than a cat (E)
➡END (Endurance): More stamina than a ferret (E)
➡CHA (Charisma): Dead Fish with Golden Scales (D)
➡INT (Intelligence): High enough for an average level Human (C)
➡ARC (Arcane Blood): A Changeling of the Seitaads (S+)
➡BDE (Big Dick Energy): Virtually a Virgin (E)
[Normal Skills]
Dancing: Decent enough for a functioning male (D)
Biology: Amatuer Ph.D. student level (B)
Karate: Good enough to kick a high school bully's ass (C)
Bullshitting: Can talk your way out of babysitting your shitty cousin (C)
[Special Skills]
Young Master of the Isis Traveling Merchant Organization: Boost to money/fame (A)
The Scent of a Changeling: Tremendous Boost to the favorability of female monsters (SSS)
[MISSION]
[1. Get f*cked.]
➡ Get f*cked by a female monster.
Reward: Newbie Isekai Gacha ×10
"...."
Yeah. That was my 'Isekai status screen'. Like, is there even a point in having one??
What the fuck is this status?
Okay, I agree chimps are little furry ape machines of destruction with a grip stronger than Arnold fucking Schwarzenegger, and cats are surprisingly athletic, but what the hell is 'Dead Fish'!? My charisma ain't that low!!
And Seitaads...??? Really???
The spirit with an astronomically low encounter rate with no romance events?? Almost no players have EVER encountered it, much less at the very start!!
Seitaads are monsters inspired by native American myths. Sand Elementals created by the Djinn-like Ghuls that could turn into living sand storms and stuff. The shape shifters who like to suffocate people just because they can.
If an RTA (Real Time Attack) player had the insane luck to encounter it before maxing out every skill and grinding his/her character to death, they could kiss their run goodbye.
And somehow, this...body had a random skill related to them.
An S+ rank Arcane...nope, not going into that. A changeling...no. Just NO. A magnet for violent female monster encounter events is just a no-no.
And what is wrong with the name section!? What in the flying fuck is a Hashimtra?!?! A new vacuum cleaner!?!
More importantly, why can't I even remember my own name!?!
I...I don't have amnesia, at least as far as I'm aware, but I can't remember my goddamn name!! Did I suffer brain damage!?
Oh, who am I kidding? Of course, I suffered brain damage. After all, Truck-kun is mighty.
I might as well be drooling in some emergency operating room in a semi-vegetative state with my blood full of sedatives-
The thumping on the wooden door of my room jolted me out of my thoughts.
"Young Master Hashimtra! May I enter?"
Cold sweat drenched my back.
Ok, apparently my name is Hashimtra. A young master.
If I recall correctly, this starting point was in the secluded Hidden Sand Dunes of Shaheem, also named by other foreign powers as the Crumbling Nations of Zahara.
As its name suggests, the colossal rocky dunes in which the separate nations reside literally 'crumbles' inwards every year due to great sandstorms...at least to the outsiders.
In reality, the true nations of Zahara reside underground, in the endless hollow rock tunnels HUNDREDS of kilometers underground.
And that's where I was currently at.
I am, apparently, the Young Master of the Isis Traveling Merchant Organization. One of the 'Hardcore-mode' starting classes, so to speak.
Yeah, it ain't easy mode. We'll get back to that.
Well, for now, it is time to act.
"Come in."
Welcome, to the motherfuckingly cliché 'transmigration to an in-game world' first day of my life.
