1 The breaking up and moving on

'' I'm the one I should love in this world.

Bitnaneun nareul sojunghan nae yeonghoneul (Shining me, precious soul of mine)

Ijeya kkaedara so I love me (I finally realized so I love me)

Jom bujokhaedo neomu areumdaun geol (Not so perfect but so beautiful) I'm the one I should love. ''

My phone and my mom have started to yell at me at the same time. My head is pounding from her sudden attack on my sleep which is a regular occurrence.

Arghhh!!! Everything is so annoying!!

Though I'm not sure about the alarm tone. This one is my favorite and rather than trying to wake up it makes me want to cuddle my pillow and sleep some more. It makes me feel that may be I'll have someone whom I will love more than myself, though this song reminds me to love myself more. I roll over to my left and try to see the time with half-opened eyes. It's 7.30 AM. I jump out from bed.

Shit! I'm going to get drilled today. My online class starts from 7.30 and I'm still here half awake lying on my back.

Wait, is it Sunday? Today is Sunday! With a thump I again sink in my bed. There is nobody in this world who can now make me leave my bed before 10. I'm usually not a late riser but when it comes to Sunday I sleep till my mom comes and drags me by my hair or neck.

I close my eyes and try to sleep again. But someone clouds my thought suddenly. I haven't talked to him since last week Wednesday. No matter how hard I try to understand him either he builds an imaginary stone wall around him or even stops expressing himself. I get really annoyed around him nowadays. I can't imagine how much I loved this boy. I really can't.

After rolling over and over for 1 hour or so I finally get up and wash myself.

Well, I'm Ridhi. And that was a much bad start of a day.

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It was my mistake to take a Casanova for a loyal man. He turned out to be something that I never imagined about. Well, it's not that I'm dying here right now. I was preparing myself for this for a pretty long time. It's just that I didn't expect him to turn out what I exactly thought about him.

That asshole was cheating on me. With my best friend! What a turning out of events! I slapped that bitch really hard after she came to me to apologize. I had two break ups that day.

I'm trying to engage myself more and more into work. Suicidal tendencies cloud my brain whenever I'm idle. After the break up I really thought I won't be able to survive even for a day. Things got pretty bad until I decided to move on finally. Guess what? I think I already knew that I had to move on. I just didn't want to give myself that pleasure to think that I can be happy without him.

Well, I'm trying to be happy since last  month. Yes, it has been exactly 1 month. A long 1 month since I've been out of the hell I was suffering in.

I have a off day today. I have to meet a friend of mine today. I met her through an SNS, She is somehow filling up the void that was created month ago.

I walk out of home in a loose round neck tee and a denim. This is my usual bad day and good day outfit. I've never been comfortable in any other clothes except from this.

Today is a sunny day and it is right before the biggest festival of our community. The roads are crowded as everyone is out for shopping. It's too hot outside to even rock a simple cotton tee. I feel suffocated in crowds nowadays.

I was searching for her among the crowd when someone gave me a tight hug from behind. I was determined to slap the hell out of whoever it was but I stopped right after I turned. Ohhh!!!! It's her. She's a real sweetheart. I love her!

We entered a coffee shop. It is air-conditioned and I felt like I was brought back to life again. We ordered a cappuccino and a cold coffee. The order was yet to come and we were chatting among ourselves.

Suddenly Dia grabbed my phone and said on a low mysterious tone,

"Do you want to get hooked up with some real hotties? I have an SNS which provides some real deals with incredibly humorous bio in some of their profiles. Want to check it out?"

"What??????", I literally squealed.

"Well, you're single now and you're sexy and you're earning enough to provide support for an all-face-and-no-brain dashing charmer even." She giggled.

I laughed hard, "May I really get someone like that? What makes you so sure that he'll be really an eye candy or he really won't have a brain?"

"Of course I know, the dorks that I've met through this app are either perverts or someone who will never answer you back no matter how beautiful you look in your profile pic. So, basically they are either super assholes or super intellectuals. I hope that you get the second one", she winked at me.

I could really see that mischievous notion behind that wink.