14 Flashbacks

"I know that I shall meet my fate Somewhere among the clouds above;

Those that I fight I do not hate,

Those that I guard I do not love;"

-W.B.Yeats

*****Jin's POV*****

I can see the dreams that I had so far slowly fading away like mirage. It seems like I never dreamt those. Like they were never a part of my life. I feel like leaving everything aside and go somewhere, where nobody knows me. I feel tired.

I left that day leaving her perplexed and broken-hearted. It was snowing outside and little did she know that it was snowing within me too.

She should stay away from me.

Why? Because I can't afford to lose her now. I've lost so much. Not her again. Rather than losing her after she becomes mine, she should never be mine at all.

My premonition always got me on point. This time also I feel like something bad is about to happen. I can sense it in the air around me. Jimin looked confused earlier this evening. I saw that file in his hand. The same file that I got today morning in my desk. Who put that there? Jimin? Because he is the one who keeps the confidential files at my desk.

But again, what was he doing with the same kind of file in his hand? What's going on?

Yesterday Tae told me something unusual,

"Hyung, if anyone tries to do any harm to our surroundings I'll tear them apart. No matter how much that person means to me. You don't need to worry about anything."

I didn't know what he meant by that "out-of-the-place" sentence. But he looked evil.

I want to run and reach out for her hands right now. I know I should stop giving the evidence that may be I feel something about her too. But I can't help it. In spite of being independent I feel confined within a darkness. Ridhi seems like the only light that makes the darkness endurable. I want to hug her right now and ask for her comfort. Is it ridiculous?

Yes, it is. I don't want her to get into any trouble. She should know that. I wanted to tell her everything that day. But I was ready to forget everything right after she kissed me. Only heaven knows how much struggle it took for me to get out of that place in that situation. I drank for the whole night that day. I got drunk, I kicked stones on the road, I screamed, I cried, I mumbled within myself just to get over that pain of leaving her unexplained. Will I ever be able to tell her about all these inanity?

It's 7 pm already. I should go home. I take out my phone to call my driver. I don't want to drive today.

Oh shit! 10 missed calls from Jimin. My phone was in silent mode. I didn't even pay any attention. But what's wrong? He never calls me so many times. I dial his number right away.

He is not receiving my call. The last call from him was 7 minutes ago. I dial his number again. I get a message suddenly.

"DCT bar. 17 Hwasan-ro 233beon-gil, Yuljeon-dong, Jangan-gu. Come right away."

It's from Jimin. What's wrong with him? He had an appointment at a bar? At this time?

I hurriedly Get out of office towards parking lot. I'll drive by myself.

Suwon's traffic can be tiresome sometimes. It's almost 10 minutes that I'm stuck near Seobu-ro crossing. It's already 7.15 PM. There's no text or call from Jimin so I guess it's cool.

I reach in front of the bar at nearly 7.30 PM. I park the car and literally run inside the bar.

The bar is lit with bluish lamps which is really effective if anyone wants to gets drunk. There are big couches in the middle. I can see Jimin sitting there with a very tensed expression on his face. There's a girl there but I can only see the part of her face which is not even clear in that blue light. There's another guy who is sitting with his backside towards me.

Jimin makes a gesture with his fingers seeing me. The guy turns around. The girl also turns her face towards me.

What? Diya? What is she doing here? When did she get acquainted with Jimin?

I notice the guy for the first time after I revoke my attention from Diya. My heart stops beating for a second. My childhood comes back in front of my vision...

That swing in our school, getting punishment for each other together, our first night out together, the first time that we got drunk at a roadside bar, the first bet over a girl, the first fight over a silly thing, the first betrayal, the first death in front of my eyes. They all come back.

Why are you back Kim Jong-In??? Why are you again here Kai? Again? After 5 years? Why?