Deus ex machina

Ten marvelous young women were standing almost naked in a grand throne room. In their hands were plates filled with the finest dishes that gourmets could dream of. All of them were nervous but because of their previous experiences they didn't let it show on their faces.

Why were they nervous? In front of them on a 4 meter high throne, clad in dark, almost black, full armor was sitting the feared demon king, Siegfried.

What would they think if they knew that said person was even more afraid that than them?

"Oh, mighty four gods, I will bring tribute to each of your shrines, if you bless me with your favor at this time" he silently prayed in his heart.

The women were visibly becoming more nervous every second. One even removed her bra and displayed her voluptuous breasts in order to appeal to the demon king.

Seeing this Siegfried finally remembered that it was decorum for him to say some words before the feast would be prepared.

In his vexed state of mind he simple shrieked "Begin!". Luckily for him, the echo in his helmet slightly changed the way his voice sounded, so the women heard something that sounded quick and determined instead of the actual tone that sounded more like the squealing of a pig. Relieved the women quickly prepared the food, took a bow and then left the throne room.

Outside a girl with a red pony tail whispered "I was really afraid that the demon king was angry when he didn't say anything. I was afraid we wouldn't get out of there safely...".

She slightly shook her head bobbing her ponytail as she pictured what could have happened to her with mixed feelings.

"Maybe he was happy because he had a breakthrough?" one of the other girls with short black hair commented, not sure if she should be happy about it. A stronger demon king could also implicate more vicious ways of torture.

"Did you see the rope that was bound around his neck? Maybe he did something naughty before we came... Have you girls ever heard of 'autoerrotic asphyxiation'?" the girl that previously showed her breasts asked. She hoped nobody noticed that she was disappointed that the demon king didn't even think about fondling them.

At this point another girl intervened " Hush... Don't forget, our Lord may still hear us."

The other three women timidly looked back, but after not hearing anything from the throne room, straightened up and swiftly walked away in silence.

Meanwhile in the throne room the only thing Siegfried was hearing was his own heart beating like a small little drum. After a minute or two he finally relaxed again. At this point his stomach growled loudly, reminding him that he was really hungry after all. Looking at the feast in front of him and trying not to drool. He was about to try to crawl out of his armor, when he heard a swooshing noise that was becoming louder and louder. At first he was confused, but then he remembered what this sound meant: An expert flying at ridiculous speed.

Before he had time to react an even louder noise erupted: A big bare breasted man with red hair and a long beard with a long sword in hand had broken through the wall into the throne room. Standing there like a red grizzly bear the man first laughed and then said: "I heard you had a breakthrough, my dear Siegfried. But seeing that you didn't come to me afterwards, I assume that it failed...".

At this point his laughing tone changed. He started to grin madly and scratched at his missing ear. "That means it is time for some payback, old 'friend'". He slightly bent his knees, wound up his sword, which at this moment started to burn, and with a swift motion threw it in the direction of the throne. Siegfried was flabbergasted and only had time to do two things before the sword hit him and that was.... to wet himself and close his eyes. But neither the agonizing pain nor the quick death that he was expecting ever came. So after a few seconds he opened his eyes again and looked at the man in front of him. He remembered his name to be Surt and he was his long time rival that he had once bitten the ear off of.

Surt was looking perplexed at the broken sword that was lying in front of him. It was a precious artifact that had been by his side for so long that he couldn't even remember anymore where he had gotten it from. He hadn't seen any movement or felt any kind of power, so how was his sword broken without him knowing how? He was awoken of his stupor by a loud breathing noise in front of him. He suddenly felt like a small ant that had pissed on/off a human and was now about to be squished under an irritated foot. So without even thinking, he turned into a straight of light and flew of into the distance with cold sweat on his face "Damn, he really broke through... What should I do?"

Meanwhile Siegfried had just exhaled one breath of relief, after which his enemy had suddenly vanished. He wasn't sure what actually happened. "Did the four gods take pity on the weak little me?"

Before he could think more about the previous situation or his currently wet pants, his stomach growled again, which reminded him that he still hadn't eaten yet. He looked over at the food that after the commotion was partly lying on the floor and also seemed mostly burned by Surt's flames.

"Ah it's only a little dirty and burned. No reason not to eat it." thought Siegfried.

As to answer to this thoughts the ceiling suddenly cracked and parts of it crumbled down right on top of the already not so good looking food, burying it underneath rubble.

"Ah it's only a little squished, I can still eat it." Siegfried appeased his irritated tummy.

He crawled out of his now way too big armor trying to ignore the puddle of urine that had accumulated in his left boot. He went over to the broken down part of the ceiling that was lying over his much sought after meal, only to realize that he was again too frail to lift any rubble up and although his arms were thin they were still too thick to get them under the wall parts to reach the food.

At this point Siegfried started to wonder if maybe the gods were actually cruel and just spared him in order to torture him for a little while longer.