1 To Kill a FedoraBird
I am Rain Adams, just a normal 16 year old boy, living a normal in Clockwork City- Hah, as if!
I am an internet troll and I like neckbeard fashion, that's all I can say about myself and I am about to embark on a magical journey right now...
"Become a magical girl! Answer questions below and become the one lucky person to become a magical girl!
1. Write down your reasons to become one in 1000 words or less
2. What would be your power? (500 words)
3. How would your costume look? (500 words)
(32 entries)"
At first, the site seemed like a poll made by a writer with drained out creativity and so, I jokingly answered the three questions with an edgy neckbeard persona. Why? Because I just felt like it...
Sure, I like how neckbeards dress but still, they just act plain cringey that I refuse to go out with my trench coat and fedora in fear of being stigmatized.
It took me an hour to write up a magical genderbent girl but as soon as I am satisfied with it, I just sent it over.
"1. Write down your reasons to become one in 1000 words or less
The Greatest Warrior Ever:
When my classmates were studying mathematics, I studied the blade.
When those near were making friends, I mastered the the ways of the gallant.
While my oppressors wasted their days at the gym in pursuit of vanity, I cultivated inner strength.
I became the bone of my sword.
Trench coats are now a part of my body and my fedora became my heart.
I haven't known death nor the real life,
Even with all of my cultivation, I am unable to reach the peak
But still, I hope for my utopic future
And so I pray, make Katana/Fedora the magical girl!
2. What would be your power? (500 words)
Borderline Teleportation Speed:
My magical girl body is powerful yet its power is compacted in a neat little package. It is also aerodynamic because large breasts are for slow thots. It also has extreme speed which when used in combination with my sheer mastery of the sword arts, It would seem I teleported behind opponents before cutting them up into a thousand pieces with my ultra brutal strength mixed with ultra accuracy.
3. How would your costume look? (500 words)
Fedora, Trench Coat & Katana:
My main weapon is a katana, sharpened to a single line of atoms. Only to be broken when it is between two unstoppable forces. Then, my trench coat's pockets are connected to a magical bag with a capacity of a warehouse and with that I am able to use any item I take from my enemies.
My costume design has a dark color palette to show my dark origins. Then, most of my costume is asymmetrical as my trench coat only has the right sleeve, my denim shorts with only the left side.
(Submitted!)"
It was fun but never did I thought I screwed it up so hard...
Then, on the next day, I received a small box, big enough to fit a human head. It had a tag that said:
"You have been accepted as a Magical Girl, Fedora Katana! Open this package and be who you are meant to be!"
I immediately grew suspicious as I never gave my address out on the poll. So, like any sane person would do, I shook to box to check the content but never did I expected it to-
"DORAAA, Why are you doing this? My eyes are spinning, dora!"
As you see, before I went to pick up the delivery, I was browsing horror sites on the internet. So, being a sane person who has just knew that demons are being shipped in boxes to eat up human victims, the next course of action was to of course stab the box to kill the devil within it.
I ran to the kitchen, took out a knife and pierced the box right on the center.
"Holy shit, dora! Why do you want your mascot dead, dora!?"
The demon shrieked again with it's high pitched voice to me again from the hole on where I stabbed and so I repeated it 3 more times, with my stabs coming from different angles.
"DORAA!? Have mercy! I submit, spare my life, dora!"
That time, I saw something black still writhing inside the box. Black is known as a common color of demons so, it further reinforced the idea that inside the box was a demon.
Seeing that the damn demon is still alive within the box, I decided that the quickest way to kill it is by holy fire.
I took the box into my backyard and poured some isopropyl alcohol I grabbed from the living room into it. I stole the alcohol from when I was hospitalized a year ago on a Christian hospital.
Outside Clockwork City was a mess. The Supers emerged since a few years ago, people with super powers. So with demons being real, every Christian hospitals around the world upgrade their disinfectants to double as holy water. Glad I took one for myself.
"Dora? It smells good... Have you forgiven me, dora?"
I thought the "demon" that time was just bullshitting and is currently dying so, I determined that I should end its suffering.
I lit up a match and dramatically dropped it into the holy alcohol soaked box. The box caught fire and so did the wriggling black thing inside it.
"DORAAAAA!? IM BURNING! HELP ME!! I CANT FEEL MY LEGS, DORA!!!"
It screamed bloody murder as I coldly stared into the burning box. After the screams died out, I quickly extinguished the fire and took out the black object from within the box.
It seemed to be a fedora... That said, it's half burned... I could tell that the fedora is some high class goods but considering it's possessed by a demon, it was only just that I burned it down.
I seriously thought that I could be recruited in an exorcist order by the Church because of my skills but...
"-I finally got you, dora..."
I seriously heard Morren Freemason, the famous Dwarven actor say in my mind:
That moment, Ethan knew: he fucked up...
The fedora quickly crawled on my arm as it latched on my face, turning everything to black.
"Mysticlad Form!"
And so now, I, Rain Adams is transforming as a magical girl...
