Fate/Infinite: Fate Grand Order-Unknown Lostbelt

' Huh... So this is what awaits us when we die?' I idly thought to myself as I opened my eyes and took in the complete and utter darkness that enveloped me. A void space, one could call It.

But why the fuck do I not remember how I died... I just recall I did die and that's about It...

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Time while floating in this vicious in the darkness, was hard to keep track of. It was a struggle to stay sane for more than a few minutes at a time – I'd spent a few cycles of alertness counting and while the time I was somewhat sane was decreasing, I was barely able to get In a few good minutes before the void overtook me, turning me into some sort void-human.

Or at least I thought it was a few minutes. My memories of previous cycles were… hazy at best. That made no real sense as I could still remember my life before my 'death'. Hell, even things that happened years ago seemed to come to me clearly, though I felt little to no emotion when my mind drifted back to what had once been. Family, friends, lovers, none of them invoked an emotional response.

It was as If I was looking at someone unknown, a stranger even.

And I don't know If I like this feeling or not...

~~

As of any other void day, I spent my time getting used to not having any feelings or emotions.

However, while remembering a mobile game played and watched, a voice started talking Inside my head. While this voice talks, somehow, I can see something. A great light that shines through the void into which I descend, a beam of existence. Of  meaning.

[" I AM THE ALIEN GOD. HUMANITY'S TIME HAS COME TO A CLOSE. I HAVE CHOSEN YOU, AND SEVEN OTHERS, TO DECIDE WHAT COMES AFTER."] She said, a beautiful Goddess-like soothing voice, that made me feel... Something.

I think it's over. And then I give her the only answer I ever could," Sure, why not. It sounds fun." In the most Nonchalant way possible.

[" Affirmative! Good luck my Crypter~"] As she said to me, I started losing my consciousness.

Looking at myself, I noticed my soul-like form started to disappear too from the void.

' Oh? Crypter? Is my new world, what I think It is?' I thought using the last remaining of my consciousness.

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Opening my eyes, I found myself laying on soft green grass, surrounded by towering trees and blue skies, with an orange-reddish sun hanging over me.

Rubbing my eyes, I groaned In unknown pain and glanced over, finding a small river next to me.

Staring back at me is an extremely beautiful-handsome young man with silver-white hair and otherworldly crimson red eyes. My hair is a long strand in the front which I keep tied up. I also wear golden earrings as well as rings on both of my hands. Glancing at my clothes, I seem to wear to opts for a black skin-tight suit, in addition to a white cloak with red ribbons, while also wearing sandal-like shoes, which are a part of my suit.

[ *Ding!* First True Magic-Denial of Nothingness (Type-Moon): Gained! | Kado from-Kado: The Right Answer: Gained! | Prodigious Magical Talent(Type-Moon): Gained | Absolute Composure: Gained! ]

' Eh?' My eyes widened hearing that emotionless mechanical voice.

[ Prodigious Magical Talent]: You are a genius of Magecraft who possesses EX-Rank Magic Circuits in both quality and quantity (4000 units of magical energy in total). You are an Average One who possesses six Elemental Affinity, the Five Great Elements (Fire, Water, Wind, Earth, Ether), and a rare Element that is different from the norm. You have a choice to randomly receive a pair of Mystic Eyes.]----[Absolute Composure]: You have eidetic memory. You can control your emotions and keep calm under any and every stressful circumstances. It is not a suppression as it is merely the ability to always remain calm. You will be completely immune to all mental interferences.]

' And they say death is the worst thing that could happen to humans.' I sighed, at how easily overpowering I'm getting.

[ *Ding!* Would you like to randomly choose a pair of Mystic Eyes? ] The emotionless voice asked.

Getting to my feet, I smiled,' Of course.'

[Mystic Eyes Of Whisper: Gained! ]---[ Mystic Eyes Of Whisper: This allows the user to subtly manipulate others to a limited extent, hypnotizing them into not doubting the words that the user says unless there is direct evidence otherwise. Also known as the eyes of Ciel.]

" Arg!" Shit, a little warming would have been helpful.

Rubbing my eyes a few times, I groaned In slight pain, and the itching sensation It has.

' So mind control to a limited extent.' I mumbled to myself, glancing around and only seeing and hearing the tall green trees.

" How beautiful," I said, smiling slightly. Truly, Nature is a beautiful and precious thing. One of the few things I enjoyed In my past life as an Author. Sometimes when I need to escape the world, I'll grab a book and walk under a tree and just there sit beneath It, and start humming while reading.

Books, I love getting lost in the world inside a book for a while, something I do a lot In my past life. Because In a way, books are my escape from reality, where the world is only what I read about, nothing more, nothing less.

Other than that, I usually just travel to another town by bus and spend time walking around it and maybe reading a book(Yes again) at the park. It allows me to forget all my problems and the toxic environment I came from. It might get expensive at times though and it's too time-consuming, but I love it, a hate and love relationship In a way If you will.

Of course, being born with a bad case of Alexithymia, that'll do It, do you. Because for years I had struggled with feeling "dead inside" and a lack of feeling emotions. Since I was very young people have called me cold, distant, detached, robotic, etc. I recently began seeing a therapist for the first time in my life and went in never having heard of Alexithymia.

After a few sessions I stumbled upon the definition, and while I was afraid to "internet diagnose" myself with something, most of what I read sounded like what I've been living and struggling with my entire life.

Furthermore, Every single one of my interactions is a lie. I am acting  all the time  when I am interacting with people. I have learned how to play "the game" at a really high level and am very successful, much in the same way that Dexter Morgan is.

I've basically taught myself the "correct" responses to emotional situations, such as friends reaching out or complaining, things like that. I can come across as one of the most caring and empathetic people you'll come across if you get the time to know me, but it's all recognition->response because Inside, all there is a void there.

' Well, let's get out of here.' Thinking such, I started walking In a way I think will be favorable for me

" World I'll save you no matter what, even at the cost of my life, because that's what Heroes do," I declared to the World as I kept walking, with only a single sinister thought,' Not that I am one, I just the only one you got.'

~~