4 Talk of the Past & the Future

Waking up in the morning, the first thing Ryker noticed was the weight on his left arm. Looking over, he saw an angel in the flesh. Long strewn out white hair, a small pale face resting on his arm, thin lips slowly opening and closing rhythmically to her breaths, and her delicate looking arms resting on his chest. She looked like a fragile doll.

Remembering the tame yet passionate night he had shared with her, Ryker couldn't help but watch her cute sleeping face, feeling to guilty to wake her. So he just placed his right arm around her waste and relished in the peaceful morning silence.

(Iris POV:) (Note: Let me know if I should do more POV chapters or if you think I should only do it when its needed. Ex: would be like a side story on Saber's POV and what she's been up to.)

Ever since she began sleeping alone, Iris hadn't been able to have a peaceful night. Especially lately as most of her dreams had been more akin to nightmares. Yet tonight was different, she was able to sleep peacefully feeling strangely warm and safe. She felt that even if the sky were to fall, she would be safe from harm. She also didn't have that reoccurring nightmare, of her and her daughter turning into the grail. Instead everything she dreamed of was bright and colorful, as if it was right out of a fairytale. One of her dreams put her in the forest around the castle with an older version of her daughter, they frolicked through the forest laughing and playing. After a while she suddenly felt herself being held from behind. Surprised she turned her head to the side and noticed it was Ryker, the man whom against he expectations accepted all of her selfishness. Smiling, she leaned into his embrace as she enjoyed the moment, before everything faded to black.

Growing scared and confused at the darkness she quickly opened her eyes, only to be greeted by the same loving smile and handsome face she had just dreamed of. Quickly she grasped his shirt tightly and began to greedily seek his lips once more. Only parting when she ran out of breath, "Whats wrong my love?" hearing his voice laced with concern and the way he addressed her, she couldn't help but tear up slightly. "Don't abandon me, okay? Please always be beside me, until the day I die…"

Sinking her face deeper into his chest to hide the tears, she awaited his answer, only to hear a slight chuckle. Raising her head she give him a blaming look, but he quickly said, "Silly girl, I would never leave you. For as long as you let me, I will be by your side. Besides, I should be the one saying that to you. You sure like taking the words I want to say huh?" Releasing a giggle because she remembered last night when they told each other about their loneliness, yet she had beat him to the punch.

As she laid there, head on his chest, with his arms wrapped around her, she felt content and at peace. Yet, those feelings didn't last long as she knew she had things to talk to him about. Their relationship was something she knew couldn't last forever, and it caused her to grow somber. "Whats wrong now? You know you really like to keep your feelings bottled up don't you? You should learn to express your feelings more, even if its something silly ill be here to listen so please tell me." Releasing a smile, she kept her head on his chest. Thinking that he might be right, and if there was anyone she could express her true feelings to it would be him. "Although I love you, I still care for Kitsirugu as well. He's done a lot for me and is even the father of our child. Helping him achieve his dream has been my main drive in life. Although he is distant and I feel sad about the situation, I cant help but want to help him in his dream, in order to protect Illya, Kitsirugu must win. So I was thinking about how horrible and selfish of a person I am because I will surely cause you pain and sadness in the future. Even though it would be nice to spend forever with you and Illya, but I know I don't have forever. Even if we don't win the war I will still die, so I was sad."

Thinking about how she just told Ryker not to abandon her, yet she knew she didn't have long to live and would be forced to abandon him made her feel like she was just using him. Although in her heart she knew she loved him, she didn't know what would be crueler, rejecting their feelings for eachother, causing him to feel alone in the world again, yet preventing him from feeling too sad over her death, or accepting his feelings, and allowing them to a brief moment of happiness, only for both of them to feel more pain and unwillingness over her death.

After telling him all of her thoughts, saying that she wasn't scared of his answer would be an lie. Yet all of the negative emotions left her when she felt his lips once more. She felt like between yesterday and today, the amount of time their lips were connected was far greater then when they were talking, and she found herself growing addicted to them. Parting she was still dazed, attempting to saver the fleeting taste.

"Iris, what if I told you, I could not only save you from the grail, but allow you to live forever with me? Would you be willing to suffer through eternity with me?" Looking into his eyes and seeing that he was serious Iris couldn't help but have her expectations rise, she wanted to scream yes! But something inside her was holding her back, "What would happen to the grail? Would people still manage to have their wishes granted?" It was the destiny of the Einzbern Homunculi to become vessels for the grail. Her desire was for the fourth holy grail war to be the last, and the best way was for Kiritsugu's wish to come true. There would be no more conflict once his wish was granted. It was the only way to spare her daughter from sharing the same fate as her. Or so she thought.

As if knowing what she was thinking about he gave her a quick kiss on the lips before continuing, "Don't worry about Illya, for I view her the same as I would my own daughter you know? I would do anything to keep the two of you safe from harm. I didn't tell you this yet, however I used my Nobel Phantasm to look into the future. The grail was corrupted during the third war and even if we win the fourth war, it will not grant Kiritsugu's wish."

Hey eyes couldn't help but go wide, "the grail's corrupted? Kiritsugu's wish won't be granted? Then Illya will?!" Iris felt like she was going to collapse, when suddenly, as if pulled from the darkness and into the light, Ryker spoke, "Shh my love its okay, I told you right? I have a way to protect you and Illya from the grail. I wont let it take either one of you." Relieved, her body began to relax and she felt all the tension drain from her as she lay in Ryker's arms.

While running his hand through her long hair, he spoke once more, "Well what do you say? Will you be with me?"

Knowing it wasn't something to answer half heartedly, she began to think. Her relationship with Kiritsugu would be over, yet both of them were prepared for that from the start. They knew she wouldn't survive the war, and placed their hopes into Illya. She had loved Kiritsugu but with the fate of death, suddenly lifted from her shoulders she began to realize that, maybe what she truly loved was his humanity, and selflessness. He was the first real person in her life, and the first to show her kindness. He gave her what she had always wanted, a family. Yet she just blindly followed his ideals, whether they were right or wrong. She felt free when with him, yet she was still in the end a puppet. Although he didn't mean to treat her as one, and deep down she knew he loved her, she had realized early on that he would stop at nothing to have his wish. He wasn't totally at fault as his outlook on life had been twisted while he was young, and she loved him regardless, she didn't want to see him suffer anymore, but for the sake of her daughter and herself she needed to let go of that love.

"Ryker, Kiritsugu is a pitiful person, his dream was a righteous one. He is, and will forever be Illya's father, just like I hope you to be her stepfather from now on. For you I will give up my love for him, however, when he finds out about the grail not being able to grant is wish. His heart will break. Treat this as my selfish last act of love, but I hope you would assist him in his dream, if able." She knew that she was a large reason things had turned out the way they had. Yet she also knew there was no use harping on the past, she made her resolve and she needed to see it through to the end. For the sake of not only herself, Ryker, and her daughter, but also for Kiritsugu as well.

"Don't worry, I know. I will talk with Kiritsugu and come to a compromise. For now, Why don't you rest some more." He said before giving her one last kiss, and leaving the bed. "Okay, my love." Saying those last words, she watched him disappear with a smile, before drifting off once more to get a little bit more sleep.

(Ryker's POV:)

After his talk with Iris, Ryker felt much better about things going foward. He realized not long after he came to this world, that he was developing feelings for Iris. He knew she had an unwavering love towards Kiritsugu from what he remembered from his past life. Yet things had changed, his appearance and actions were shifting the world and the future around him. Although it was a scary thought, he had already resolved himself to not let his knowlege of the future blind his path.

Thinking about what he needed to do in the present, Ryker made his way to Kiritsugu's room. He had moved out of Iris' room not long after he was summoned, and moved into one of the rooms near his office, a couple floors down. He knew there was a good chance Kiritsugu wouldn't fight with him over Iris' love, however, knowing that he wasn't the ruthless, killer deep down, that he tried to show on the surface, he needed to come up with a plan in order to not only get Kiritsugu to accept the situation, but he also wanted to see if he was able to drag out the true face of the renown Mage Killer, and make him change his views of the world, even if a little.

Realizing he had reached his destination, Ryker steeled himself before knocking on the door. After a brief pause of silence, a rough man's voice sounded out from the other side. "Who is it?" Knowing he already knew who it was Ryker replied in a serious voice, "Sir, It's Caster, we need to have a serious chat, if you would be so kind to indulge me."

After another pause, as if he was attempting to see through my reason for coming. Seeming to find the answer he sought, he answered, "You can enter." Hearing the door unlock, Ryker once more steeled his emotions. He knew that this would not be a simple talk, it would be a battle. Their minds are their swords, and their emotions their armor.

He knew though that he possessed an advantage in this battle. For a soldier with a women waiting at home, has a stronger will to survive, then those that live just to fight. Pushing open the door, Ryker entered his first real battle, in this world.