33 Hope & Despair

"Is this really Britain?" Ria asked Ryker with hope filled eyes.

Smiling at how excited she was becoming, Ryker felt content at the fact that he was able to bring happiness to one of those that he loved.

Answering her hope Ryker confirmed by saying, "Indeed, although a lot has changed over time, it is the place you once called your homeland."

Hearing his confirmation Ria started to scan her eyes across the surrounding landscape. She wasn't searching for anything in particular, but rather attempting to engrain everything her eyes laid their gaze upon into her memory forever.

She regretted the fact the she didn't appreciate her home enough in the past, although she loved and respected it, she still felt like she didn't have enough time to see all that it had to offer before her death. This was mainly due to her duties as king which kept her busy most of the time, preventing her from roaming the country side and just enjoying everything that she was able to experience in her own kingdom.

Having the chance to come back to the place she loved and adored filled her with feelings which were hard to describe.

She was glad that she was able to see everything that was once familiar to her, however, the fact still held true that so much had changed and it seemed almost foreign to her. She knew deep inside that her 'home', her kingdom, had fallen long ago. Deep in her heart she knew that what she was looking at was no longer her 'home' but rather the aftermath of her failures.

As Ryker watched her face expecting her to break out into tears of joy, what he saw instead left him feeling a sense of loss and heartache.

Ria did indeed shed tears, however, it was not the tears Ryker had been expecting. Seeing his loved one suddenly start to cry in sadness, Ryker felt as If his heart had suddenly broken into tiny pieces.

This was Ria. A strong hearted and loyal woman whom he had never seen in such a state before. Although she always tried to bottle up her feelings, Ryker was usually able to see through her facade. So although it wasn't the first time he had seen her emotions being laid out in the open, things were different this time. Rather then attempting to hold her thoughts in like normal, she was instead letter her feelings flood out without any regard.

This caused Ryker to worry even more then when she bottled them up because he knew, it wasn't that she stopped attempting to hold back her feelings, but rather she couldn't at the moment.

To Ria time felt as if it had slowed to a crawl. She had promised herself that she would move on from her past and stop holding her past failures against herself. Yet the moment she returned to what was once her homeland, she felt as if everything she had been working to overcome came crashing down onto her at once.

She felt regret, loss, longing, despair and many other negative emotions flood into her system all at the same time. Memories of the past flashed through her mind as she remembered her family, her friends and knights, the citizens who would cheer and laugh at her passing while waving.

Everyone was gone.

An icy bitter cold surrounded her. She felt scared, yet empty. The cold slowly began to creep its way into her heart, leaving her on the brink of darkness.

When suddenly she felt a wave of warmth pass through her entire body.

The warmth clashed against the cold and lonely void as she felt like she heard the darkness cry out in fear as it retreated back into the recesses of her heart.

Opening her eyes, she noticed her vision was blurry due to all of the tears she had shed. Her loss of vision though did little to prevent her from feeling the thing which had driven away the darkness in her heart.

She felt a pair of strong arms wrapped around her upper body as they tightly held her.

To her left she felt a hot breath tickle her ear as she heard a familiar voice call out to her, "Ria, there is no need to fall to despair. Remember, your home is at my side and it will forever be for the rest of eternity."

Hearing his words, Ria felt as if she had lost something. The negative emotions and the darkness which had hidden itself back inside her heart, disappeared entirely. She felt as if invisible shackles had been removed from her body and were no longer chaining her down.

Bringing her right hand up to her chest, she grasped Ryker's hands tightly as she leaned her entire weight back onto him. She felt that no matter what happened from now on, so long as this man stood beside her, she would never be allowed to fall. Whether it be emotionally or physically, he was and forever will be her anchor. Although her 'home' had already fallen and was lost to the ages, it didn't mean that she couldn't create a new 'home'.

After all wasn't that her entire purpose in seeking out the grail? To bring back her home?

She felt foolish inside. This entire time she was seeking to bring back her kingdom, yet the reason she desired to bring that back wasn't for her peoples sake but rather for her own. She had already confronted those emotions early on thanks to her talks with Ryker, however it seems that deep inside of her heart she hadn't let go of her desires.

Never did she think about creating a new home on her own rather then with the grails help. For a long time she had already achieved her dreams and desire for a home.

That home was at the side of her most beloved.

When that thought crossed her mind, she felt clarity as her tears slowly turned from those of sadness to those of joy.

This time when she looked around, what she felt was no longer pain and loss, but rather remembrance and acceptance.

Feeling her beloved husband wiping the tears from her eyes, Ria tilted her head backwards as she gazed up at his face. "Thank you Ryker. For giving me a home."

After saying that, without even waiting for his reply, Ria reached her arms around his head as she brought his face closer while at the same time standing on her toes. As the two locked lips in perhaps the deepest and most passionate kiss they had ever had together, Ria and Ryker both lost themselves in their emotions.

*Clap*

*Clap*

*Clap*

Suddenly hearing clapping sounds, Ryker and Ria broke off their emotional kiss as they realize they had at some point been surrounded by many people who were now clapping and cheering.

Turning his head, Ryker sent a questioning look towards Iris who was also clapping happily as previously all his attention had been dedicated towards his little knight, he hadn't realized when this situation had happened.

Noticing his questioning look, Iris moved closer to them as she clarified the situation. "Fufufu~ Since your two were lost in your moment you didn't realize that although we took a private jet, that doesn't mean the airport is also private, hehe. When Sister Ria started crying many people noticed and in the end they saw your manly declaration~." She said while trying to contain her laughter not bothering to hide her teasing look.

When Ria started crying, Iris had been equally as worried but she trusted Ryker and knew she could leave the situation to him while she looked after the children. She had noticed early on that the surrounding staff and a few others had been watching but couldn't bare to interrupt their moment. It was only after she was positive that Ria was alright that she allowed herself to calm down and began to tease them on their public display of affection.

Breaking away from the crowd, Ryker brought along his family which consisted of one giggling, and teasing woman, one bashful and embarrassed woman who was currently hiding her face in his back, as well as two children.

Illya had stars in her eyes as she watched the interaction between her Daddy, Mommy and Aunty Ria. She had felt confused about a lot of things but recently her mommy had been reading her books about love and romance while they were traveling, so she was able to better understand the feelings the adults in her life had for one another.

She felt it was odd that in many books there was only one mommy when she had two, but her daddy had told her that love was boundless and when she was older she would understand.

It confused her though because after talking about love her daddy would always put on a serious face and tell her to stay away from boys?

Her daddy was really silly, wasn't he and Zeni boys? She loved being near them though and never got sick, maybe daddy was just messing with her about that 'Cooties' disease thing.

As Illya's train of thought deviated more and more from where it had been initially, she suddenly forgot what she was thinking about when she saw a food stand and began begging her daddy to have some.

--------

Rather then stopping in London for the night, Ryker had originally planned to take a train straight to Gladstoneberry, yet due to the event they experienced after they had exited the plane, he felt that it was a good Idea to relax for the rest of the day before making what will surly be an emotional venture.

After entering London, Ryker and the rest of the family stopped by a stall and got some food to eat before searching for a hotel to stay in. Due to London being a large tourist destination it didn't take them long before they found a nice place to stay.

Entering the 3 bed, hotel room that they were going to stay in for the night, Ryker sat on one of the beds as he watched Illya and Iris running to and fro in an attempt to explore their room.

'She's still as childish as ever.' Thought Ryker as he smiled lovingly. Feeling a pair of arms wrap themselves around his side, Ryker noticed Ria had sat down beside him and was currently resting her head against his shoulder. 'This one as well is childish in her own way…' Although he thought that in his mind, he wouldn't dare to say it to her. Iris knew that she was childish and embraced it, Ria however, still had her pride and wanted to maintain it as best she could even if moments like earlier caused her to slip slightly.

If she even grew embarrassed, in most instances her fights instinct was to 'beat' the embarrassment with violence. This in turn caused Ryker to draw the short end of the stick as it was often him who caused her embarrassment and was placed on the receiving end of her blows.

Despite this, Ryker took it all as he knew that it was her own way of showing her love. If he wanted, he could make it so he her blows didn't hurt him, however, as the days past Ryker was noticing he used his powers less and less.

He would occasionally spare with Ria or Iris in order to prevent himself from growing rusty but it didn't change the fact that he felt like he didn't really 'need' absolute strength to be happy. In fact he felt like the closer in tuned he was to his 'mortality' the more at peace he was. It was a strange concept really and it wasn't until now that Ryker realized something.

When you are weak, you desire strength. Yet when you have all of the strength in the world, you wish you didn't have so much power.

Ryker didn't quite feel the same way as he knew that there were many beings which were far stronger then he was, however, the fact still held true that in a way he felt similar to the saying.

When he died and had a change to start a new life, all he desired was strength. The strength to conquer the world and obtain companions and lovers.

Yet after his wish was granted and he obtain that power, he realized that he didn't need it to obtain what he wanted.

Iris, Ria, Illya, Zenith, all of them were with him not for his 'physical might' but rather the joy and happiness he brought them. Even if he one day lost all of his powers, he had never doubted for a second as that they would remain by his side. This thought caused him to place less importance on his strength and more on how he treated those he loved.

Despite this its not as if Ryker had 'abandoned' his powers or gave up in his pursuit of strength but he just decided that it wouldn't be at the forefront of his life.

As he watched Iris tickling Illya on one of the beds while snuggling up against Ria and peaking over at a sleeping Zen who was fast asleep on the other bed, Ryker felt that these feelings and emotions were his strength all along.

'Is that why I was so 'weak' in my past life? I didn't have people to love and care for, nor did I know the power those emotions. So I was weak and lost my entire life. Yet this time, I have those who I'm able to share that love with, and even though my strength had been granted to me already, I feel far stronger then when I first came into this world…is this my path?' Ryker thought to himself as he closed his eyes.

Silence, yet noise.

A pitch black, empty room within his mind.

The sound of laughter and joy seemed to pulse through out the dark room causing ripples of a golden radiance to light up the darkness.

Looking down, Ryker noticed a hole where his heart normally was located. Reaching up with his hands he placed them before the hole only to realize something was blocking his hand from entering as he began to wonder what was going on.

"…Darling…"

Hearing a voice, Ryker took his eyes away from the hole as he looked up.

He saw a white silhouette in front of him. The instant he looked at it, coupled with the voice he previously heard, Ryker knew right away who it was even though the silhouette had no features.

"Iris…" He called out.

As soon as the name left his lips, another voice called out to him. This time, his eyes caught everything.

"…Husband…" To the side of Iris, another white figure formed from seemingly nothing. This one also belonged to a women he knew quite well.

"Ria…" He called out once more.

"…Daddy!"

"…Father!"

To the right of the first two figures, another two appeared. Both appeared to be children with heights only half that of the first two figures.

"Illya…and…Zenith?" Although Ryker could recognize them, his child Zenith was still only a small child causing him to be confused as to why the fourth figure was around the age of 12.

Suddenly from within the hole in his chest, a thick golden chain flew out as it radiated a holy light.

Before Ryker could understand what was going on, the chain had flown half way out before it split into four. Each chain piercing into the chests of the four figures where their hearts would normally be located.

"No!!" Releasing a angered shout closer to that of a beast rather then a human, Ryker watching in despair as his loved ones were impaled through their hearts. Attempted to move, Ryker quickly realized he couldn't as It felt as if he was bound by something unshakable.

Turning his vision back to the front, Ryker realized the once pure white silhouettes were slowly turning golden as if the chains had been corrupting them.

Fighting against his 'restraints' Ryker felt as if his mind was being slit apart the more he struggled.

Yet before long the four white figures were coated entirely by the golden radiance leaving Ryker fearful of what it could represent.

He felt a strange connection to the figures when they turned completely gold in color, however he didn't have time to think further on the matter.

*Creak~*

Suddenly, the chain in his chest constricted as if it knew it obtained its objective. Slowly It tightened before it began to retreat back inside of his chest, pulling the four figures slowly along with it.

"Wait! Stop!" With his cries falling on deaf ears, Ryker could only watch as the figures of his family were pulled inside of his chest as if it was an all consuming void, seeking only to bring him further despair.