16

A rush of light followed by a cool draft ruffled pristine white robes as Sarutobi emerged onto his balcony overlooking the preliminary exam room. Two white cloaked ANBU walked in lockstep to either side of him, while two more stayed behind the balcony curtains. His eyes were forward, and his face set in stone as he walked with purpose towards the center of the balcony, where his chair rested.

"Hokage-sama!" was the ritualistic call of his chunin and jonin from beneath the balcony as he looked them over one by one, granting each a nod in turn. Both Ibiki and Anko were present, as well as the other chunin proctors from the First Exam. The two ranking shinobi were keeping closer to themselves, however, and away from the other shinobi present. Though Sarutobi suspected it was due to Anko's barely restrained anger than anything else.

Though it is difficult to blame her, the old man mused. The information revealed to her of Orochimaru's new attack hadn't been taken well, and coupled with their encounter only days prior in the forest had left the woman in a violent state of mind.

And to question Naruto's loyalty as she had… she always was better at making enemies than friends. The blond genin, after having recited his clone's ordeal, hadn't taken kindly to Anko's insinuating that it was the seccond time he and Orochimaru had run into each other, demanding to know what she was implying. Only Sarutobi's presence in the room prevented the spat from turning physical.

Ah, the fire of youth, thought the Hokage sardonically as he lowered himself into his seat with a well concealed sigh of satisfaction, echoing the sentiments of one of his more famous jonin. Two ANBU fell to either side of him as he relaxed. The armchair was plush and as comfortable as any in the village, though a clever genjutsu layered the image of a solid stone throne over the top of it. He was far too old to be sitting in such a chair for any extended period of time, and would have balked at it even had he not been sixty-nine.

There was no need to sacrifice comfort when the image of invulnerability and power could so easily be draped over it.

Ageing eyes peered out from under the Hokage's hat, looking over the various jonin instructors present, both foreign and domestic. The jonin were clustered on a separate ledge, where Yuhi Kurenai and Maito Gai made amiable conversation whilst Kakashi and Tenzo – Yamato – looked to be speaking in hushed tones a few meters away.

A pang of regret shot through the old man as he was reminded of his son's absence. Asuma would have been among the Konoha contingent, no doubt eager to watch his three protégés prove their worth. You were still so young, Asuma-kun…

Such thoughts fled from his mind as one of his masked ANBU materialized in front of him, a scroll outstretched. "The final matchups, Hokage-sama."

Sarutobi took the proffered scroll with a nod, scanning the names quickly as he took in the altered brackets he had ordered.

"Everything appears to be in order," he told the still standing ANBU in front of him. A flex and push of his chakra incinerated the scroll in his hands, the ashes falling like slow rain to the tiled balcony below. "Bring them in," he ordered.

"Yes, Hokage-sama!" The lieutenant disappeared in a Shunshin as Sarutobi leaned back in his chair.

Waiting idly for the genin to be brought forth, the old man scanned the crowd of jonin and chunin who populated the balcony below him. A few notable clan heads had petitioned for their viewing of the preliminary rounds, so as to see their children compete in the event they didn't make it to the true finals. Scattered about were a few nondescript chunin that Sarutobi knew belonged to the Barrier Corps. Having two jinchuriki in one building was a nightmare to just about anyone, and having a few trained professionals on hand to limit any possible damage soothed the nerves.

A light brush on his arm turned his head to the left to regard the ANBU guard who had touched him. The man was concealed behind a bird mask, and made a single seal of battle-speak. –Toad – he said, and the Sandaime concealed his chuckle even as the ANBU to his right stiffened slightly as she put the pieces together.

"So you decided to come after all," Sarutobi muttered. "I had thought you might wait."

"No sense in it," Jiraiya returned. "Not after last night." The Hokage nodded his head in acknowledgement and was silent. He would have to interrogate his student once the matches were completed, to find out how he had so easily gained access to his personal guard.

Even now, after forty years, the man managed to surprise him.

The sound of double wooden doors opening on the ground floor attracted the attention of all present. Eyes swiveled to take in the forms of an even twenty genin striding into the room. Nineteen teams walked in separate lines to stand in front of the Ram Seal Statue, the twentieth team short one member. Yakushi Kabuto, Sarutobi remembered with a twinge of bitterness at the spy's successful infiltration. There had been some discussion as to whether to disqualify the boy's remaining teammates and hold them for questioning, but in the end he had decided to let events play out. Whether they were a part of his old student's schemes would be told in time, and the coming fights would be as good an indicator as any as to the threat Akado Yoroi and Tsurugi Misumi might pose.

"Twenty remaining genin," the old man heard his right ANBU guard whisper. "Impressive…" Down below, Anko scowled.

A small smile crossed Sarutobi's lips at the sight of the three full rookie Konoha teams. Their sensei were right to nominate them.

His brown eyes fell on the boy who had been occupying his thoughts lately. Naruto stood in between his two teammates, his expression hard. Blue eyes flittered over the assembled shinobi and kunoichi on the balcony above him, before finally coming to rest on the Sandaime's own. The blond boy gave a nod of acknowledgement and deference, which Sarutobi responded to with a slight raising of his head.

Their debrief the previous night had been short, as the Hokage had had matters to attend to, but no less stressful than any of their previous meetings. Orochimaru's offer hadn't been a surprise, truly, but it was worrying all the same.

Perhaps you were right after all, Jiraiya…

He smothered his conflicting emotions with practiced ease and rose.

"The Second phase of the Chunin Selection Exams is now complete. Congratulations to all of you who remain," he began, his voice modulated to carry throughout the entire room. "Before we begin the third phase, there is something that you all, as potential chunin, should be aware of. And that is the true nature of this exam."

An uneasy rustling of cloth greeted his words, and Sarutobi was satisfied that he had their attention. "Why is it that many nations come together for this test?" he addressed the genin whilst stepping forward. His hands were clasped behind his back and his face carefully stoic as he continued, "'To promote friendship among the nations,' 'To raise the level of shinobi'…" Both completely untrue. "As potential future chunin of your villages, I do not want for you all to be confused as to the true meaning."

"This exam is a substitute for war."

Unsettled muttering broke out at the proclamation, though Sarutobi clearly saw a few of the genin silently piecing together the puzzle before them.

"In the past, these same nations gathered here warred. We fought for power, for land, and above all else for prestige and reputation. This exam is a substitute for the wars that consumed the continent for decades." The old man's hands came forward in a sweeping gesture. "Today it is you who fight for your village in battle."

"But why?" Inuzuka Kiba burst out. He ignored Naruto's shove to shut up. "Why do we have to risk our lives?"

"Because a shinobi's true worth is only seen in life and death situations." The answer was quick, for Sarutobi had expected the question. They truly should be made aware of the facts before they enter, the old man thought, and not for the first time. "If the strength of the villages is to be seen, it can only be through true combat, for only then can the skills of shinobi be properly assessed."

A Konoha girl with twin hair buns spoke next. "But then…what about the friendship between the villages?"

Sarutobi almost smiled in spite of himself. "Through life and death there is balance. Through this exam that balance among the villages is achieved. That is the nature of the friendship between villages." It is a harsh world we live in, children, and I do hate to be the one to reveal it.

"Before we begin the third phase, for those who have not yet grasped my words, I will tell you this. This exam is not merely a test, but a life risking battle for your village. Your country's and your village's reputation rests on your shoulders…" The Sandaime trailed off, letting his statement hang heavy in the air as the genin digested their own importance.

A single voice shattered the silence. "I don't care what it means," Sabaku no Gaara spoke flatly, his beady eyes trained on the Hokage. "Just get on with it and tell us what this life and death situation is."

As one, the heads of every single Konoha genin swiveled to glare at the offending boy who dared to speak so disrespectfully to their Kage. The red head shrugged them off with complete indifference, electing to keep his bored gaze fixed on the Hokage. On the balcony above, a Suna jonin with cloth covering half of his face pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head.

Sarutobi was unruffled. "Of course," he said dryly, his own eyes locked with the disrespectful jinchuriki's. He regarded the boy with complete indifference, which seemed to put the redhead on edge. Impudent boy. If only Masa had instilled some discipline in you. The Sandaime opened his mouth to continue, but was halted as a figure dropped from above in front of him.

A pale man, clad in standard Konoha fare and his hitai-ate worn as a bandana, fell to a knee in front of him. The katana on his back clattered lightly as he raised his head. "If I may Hokage-sama, as the proctor of the Third Exam…" his voice trailed off in a cough.

"By all means." Sarutobi gave the eager Special Jonin a smile as he rose and vaulted the railing. Bags were heavy under the man's eyes, and the Sandaime couldn't help but sigh in regret at the sight of a man whose once promising career was being reduced to almost nothing due to an unfortunate injury. To his right, his ANBU guard shifted, and the old man spared her a glance of sympathy.

"Hello, my name is Gekkou Hayate, and I'm the proctor for the Third Exam," the man greeted the genin formally. A chorus of coughs followed his statement, and it was a full ten seconds before he regained composure enough to continue. "But before the Third Test, we're going to have to have a preliminary round, to narrow the field of applicants…"

Hayate would have continued, if not for an indignant cry from the back of the genin.

"A preliminary round?" Nara Shikamaru burst out. "What do you mean preliminary?"

The rookies, who all knew Shikamaru, turned their heads and stared at the pineapple-haired youth in shock. The boy wasn't one to readily speak his mind in most situations, especially not in the face of authority.

Sarutobi only allowed himself the slightest of smiles at the interruption, though Jiraiya looked to be holding back a full blown belly laugh to his left. So very like his father, he mused.

"There are too many applicants for the Third Exam to proceed properly." A round of coughs followed, and the genin waited impatiently for the man to continue. "Whether due to easy first and second exams, or due to the field being…exceptional, there are too many of you left for the fights to be held in public. Due to Chunin Selection Exam rules, we must have a preliminary round to…reduce the number of participants."

Silence greeted Hayate's words, the genin digesting the fact that they would be forced to endure yet another round before making it to the finals. They would have to prevail here to have a hope of being promoted.

"This round begins now, so any genin who feel that they might not be up to it, please raise your hands and you will be disqualified," the examiner said.

The nervous muttering was renewed with vigor, but no hands were raised. Sarutobi, from his vantage point, gave a small, unseen nod of satisfaction.

"Well…no takers then," Hayate quipped. "If, then, you'll all pay attention to the board…" The sickly man raised a hand and pointed to a screen above the Ram Seal Statue, where names began to flash randomly in green letters.

It settled on two just as Sarutobi retook his seat. He ignored the weight of Jiraiya's questioning gaze as he regarded the soon to be battle ground stoically.

"The first match will be Kinuta Dosu versus Uzumaki Naruto," Hayate announced. Sarutobi watched with appraising eyes as the two genin immediately gave the other a once over as their counterparts slowly dispersed and walked up the steps to their balcony.

Yamanaka Ino remained, however, having caught Naruto by his arm before he could move to the center of the arena. She whispered something in his ear that the blond boy nodded at, before hurrying up the stairs herself.

"I was hoping I would fight you in the real finals, after Sasuke-kun of course," Dosu said, his voice calm and even contrite. "I feel I should repay you for that trick you pulled on me in the First Exam room. I feel like I might be being taken a bit too lightly."

Naruto didn't respond as he checked the bandages wrapping his ankles. Deeming them good enough, he patted his weapons pouches and kunai holsters down, before drawing his twin knuckle knives and squaring himself up.

Despite the pang of loss that resonated through his chest at the sight of his dead son's weapons, the Sandaime couldn't help but smile at the sight the boy before him.

"Nothing to say to me?" the heavily bandaged boy asked. His face, covered as it was, wasn't visible, but the single eye narrowed in irritation.

"What's to say?" Naruto asked. His voice was bland, his expression indifferent, but his eyes blazed with an emotion Sarutobi couldn't place at first glance.

The bandaged boy was silent for a moment, before he turned the examiner. "Proctor-san, I assume that killing is still permitted?"

The arena, which had been filled with a hum of anticipation from not just the genin but the assembled ranking shinobi as well, fell completely silent. The Sandaime felt he might have been able to hear a pin drop.

"Um, it is, yes," Hayate confirmed. "But the match will end if and when I deem it–"

"That's all I needed to know, Proctor-san," Dosu interrupted.

Hayate let the silence hang for a few seconds as the two boys surveyed each other at five meters apart. "Well, if there's nothing else…begin!"

The examiner's arm dropped to signal the start of the fight, and Naruto didn't waste a second before the sound in the arena was deafening. Wind chakra burst from the knuckle knives into visible, twenty foot whips of pure destructive power as the blonde's lips peeled back in a snarl. The genin brought the whips up and crashing down in the shape of an X.

Wind howled its fury as tile was torn asunder and dirt was thrown skyward as Dosu dove to his right to avoid being cleaved into pieces. He rolled to stop his momentum, and was immediately set upon by Naruto. The bandaged boy took an elbow to the solar plexus that sent him hurtling backwards, but he righted himself quickly.

The Oto genin landed softly a few meters from the blond, who broke into a sprint. His eye widening, Dosu palmed and hurled a kunai at the oncoming Naruto, hoping to slow him down.

The jinchuriki acted quickly, bringing his left knife to bear. The whip shortened to a blade that bisected the kunai and hurled the halves away harmlessly as Naruto didn't bother to break stride.

The blond entered the Oto genin's space like a hurricane, swinging his right blade down just as Dosu brought his Melody Arm up in a desperate block. The weapon, designed to amplify sound waves with chakra, didn't even have a chance to be activated as Naruto cleaved it in two with a downward slash that took the bandaged boy's right hand off at the forearm.

Dosu had no time to process the loss of his right hand; he had no time to scream in pain; he had no time to blink. Naruto stepped, planted his right foot inside his guard and stopped his momentum dead by pulling his body into a tight spin with his left arm outstretched. Wind screamed its fury for all to hear as Naruto's left blade sliced through the Oto genin's neck like a hot knife through butter, and the blond came to rest with his arms outstretched in opposite directions.

Its eye still open wide in shock, the severed head of Kinuta Dosu dropped to the arena floor with a sickeningly wet thump. The rest of the body joined it a moment later, falling forward in a spray of arterial blood that peppered Naruto's face and torso with bright red drops.

The Konoha genin dropped his gaze to the two parts of the genin he had just killed, his blue eyes widening ever-so-slightly at the sight. There was an element of surprise hidden in their depths, as if the boy was stunned that he had actually killed his opponent. They remained there for a full five seconds of absolute silence that held the arena and its spectators in a vice grip.

Finally, he blinked and shook his head as if to clear it of cobwebs, and stepped away from the two parts of what had once been a genin of Otogakure.

"Winner: Uzumaki Naruto," Hayate declared pointlessly. It was all the invitation the crowd needed for the dam to break, and hushed murmurings filled the air. The ranking shinobi turned amongst themselves, conversations breaking out immediately. The genin opposite them, however, were as silent as death.

"Tch, the gaki's not bad," Jiraiya muttered to Sarutobi's left.

"Are you satisfied?" the Sandaime asked.

"Not by half, old man, but I'll see what I can do with him." The voice was carefully neutral, but Sarutobi couldn't help but detect the undercurrent of excitement at the prospect of teaching the boy.

The Sandaime's eyes were fixed on Naruto, however, who simply wiped his knives down with a cloth in a practiced ritual he had no doubt learned from Asuma. The blond sheathed them at his hips with a spin around his fingers and a flourish, before turning slightly to face the gathered, ranking shinobi.

Blue eyes locked with ageing brown and Naruto lowered his head in deference to the Sandaime before turning abruptly, and making his way up the stairs to his teammates.

Amid the excited murmurings of his shinobi and kunoichi, the silence of the assembled genin, and the sound of footsteps announcing the arrival of the cleanup crew, Sarutobi smiled.

/~/

For what was the first time in the two months since Yamato had become his sensei, Naruto was legitimately annoyed with the man. It was bound to happen at some point, but it could have been at a much better time, in the blond genin's esteemed opinion.

Some small, distant, and far more rational part of his brain reasoned that with both Kiba and Ino in the finals right along with him, their sensei should certainly be paying attention to them as well. But this is some goddamn bullshit, he thought with vitriol. Being handed a compilation of chakra control exercises and being told to work on them wasn't his idea of training.

Especially not with a murderous Suna-genin as his future opponent.

Sabaku no Gaara was easily the most ridiculous genin Naruto had ever met. He had heard of the boy's instability from Sasuke, who had apparently had a run in with him before the Exams had even started, and had seen it first hand in the boy's fight against Lee in the Preliminaries. Only Gai had been able to stop the insane genin from killing Lee even after the fight had been called.

Chakra control exercise wouldn't help him against a monster that had been able to recover from Lee's opening of five Celestial Gates. Nothing save Asuma's trench knives would even put a dent in the boy's Sand Armor, and there was little guarantee that he could even get close enough to use them properly. He was quick, but Lee had always been a few cuts above him in terms of speed, and that kind of movement and agility couldn't be gained in a month.

And that means taijutsu is gonna be useless too, the blond mused unhappily from his position under a waterfall. The white noise did nothing to comfort his nerves as he reflected on his situation. Ninjutsu was Naruto's only answer to Gaara's inhuman defense, and nothing the blond knew was good enough by half.

The Fuuton: Renkudan was the most offensively powerful jutsu he knew, and just from seeing Gaara absorb Lee's Goken, Naruto knew that it wouldn't be nearly enough.

I could make it sharper. Harder, faster, stronger…but it still won't be enough. That sand's too tough and too quick on its own.

The blond flinched as he felt a light mist start to brush against his nose, and gritted his teeth in frustration. His anger didn't help his plight, however, and drops of water on his forehead heralded an explosion of chakra that sent half the water in the small lake hurtling outwards in a wave. At its center stood Naruto, the cascading waterfall behind him ending in a mist that swirled around the genin violently as he seethed.

A single, heavy sigh escaped his lips as his hands fell limply to his sides. "Goddamn it," Naruto hissed, his eyes fluttering closed so as to not take in the sight of his anger. His temper had been one his most defining characteristics as a child – followed by his impatience – and, despite his strides toward levelheadedness and self-control, it could easily get the best of him from time to time.

The blond shook his head in an attempt to compose himself. Maybe I should take a break, he thought. Some lunch and a breather might do wonders for his focus, and it wasn't as if he could get any real training done in his current frame of mind.

Resolved, Naruto's hands formed a familiar cross shaped seal, and four clones popped into existence. "Corners, work your way in," the original commanded tiredly, gesturing to the edges of the training ground. His explosive temper had created quite a mess, and he had no want for an official reprimand for leaving a training ground in complete disarray.

Sparing the doppelgangers a glance to make sure they weren't about to slack off – he sometimes found that his clones had a mind of their own when handling more mundane tasks – the original stepped into Shunshin. He reappeared at the edge of the path that lead to his preferred training ground of the day, the speed jutsu's end coinciding flawlessly with his first step towards the village proper. Normally the execution of such a "cool" maneuver would bring a smirk to Naruto's face, but the blond was in no mood for self-indulgence.

His steps carried him through the throng of lunch time walkers untouched as he reached the downtown. A vendor at the edge of the path locked eyes with the blond for an instant, and Naruto felt the weight of disdain and outright hatred settle onto his shoulders. Blinking, blue eyes stared forward resolutely, passing over the bodies and faces of the midday crowd without truly taking them in. He knew what would greet him if he bothered to focus on the dozens of faces passing him by.

Ever since Asuma's funeral, it seemed as if the general populace had reverted to their old views of him from before he had stopped his almost daily pranks. Where indifference and even a smattering of respect had met him for the past four years, hostility and glares greeted him nowadays.

He was shunned, just as he had once been, for the unforgiveable crime of surviving where one of Konoha's great jonin had fallen.

"Fuck you all," he breathed, his voice barely audible even to himself.

"You are their pawn, a weapon forged in the heat of desperation to be used and discarded. Konoha's to ignore for your service, and held up as a scapegoat in times of strife…"

"I am offering my services, you might say, for when the time comes, and Konoha can no longer protect you. When this village…no longer has any meaning for you."

The Snake Sannin's words came to him unbidden, and Naruto very nearly flinched as they struck home. Get outta my head! he silently commanded, but the message had been struck home days before and, try as he might, it wouldn't leave him alone. It had been easy to ignore back in the tower, surrounded by fellow competitors and knowing that the Sandaime was never more than a hallway or two away. He had let the competition dominate his every thought, and Orochimaru's promises had been relegated to the backburner of his mind.

Now, however, surrounded by glares and hostility on all sides, the whispers rang loud and clear.

The blond felt the grinding of his teeth ought to have been audible to every person he passed as he strode through the downtown. His eyes were narrowed, his face set in stone, and his temper palpable as he flung back the curtains that served as the entrance to Ichiraku Ramen. It was crowded, as the genin had known it would be, but he found that he couldn't care less as his nostrils were assaulted by the sweet aroma of fresh noodles and broth.

Naruto elbowed and shoved his way to the front of the counter, claiming a seat just as a woman vacated it.

"You kiddin' me, brat?" a man practically yelled incredulously. "I been waitin' for that spot for five minutes now! Get yer ass up!"

The blond – who likely would've acquiesced on a better day – was in no mood for some civilian's rhetoric. A glare that would have set trained shinobi on edge from its sheer vitriol met the man's incredulity head on, and the civilian staggered back a step. Realizing who he was dealing with, and recognizing the poison in the boy's expression, the man cut his losses hastily and moved to another section of the counter to wait for a spot to open up.

Sneering in disgust, Naruto turned his eyes to Ayame, who was working the counter, only to be met with cool indifference and a slight nod. Kanji were scribbled onto an order slip without a word, and less than thirty seconds later, a steaming bowl of miso ramen was in front of the genin and being devoured with relish.

It was gone in under two minutes, only to be replaced almost immediately. Despite his mood, Naruto nearly smiled. After years of dealing with him and his temper, the Ichirakus had developed a simple system. Miso ramen was always the answer to a moody Naruto, and they would keep pumping it out until the blond was ready to calm down or talk.

"Something got your panties in a twist, kiddo?" a deep voice asked from right next to him.

Idiot civilians who need to mind their own goddamn business, Naruto thought. He bit back the retort on the tip of his tongue, knowing that it would get him nowhere.

"Lots of 'somethings'," he muttered, though he was sure the man heard him. The list of somethings began with Sabaku no Gaara, and didn't get much better as it went on.

"Tch," the man scoffed, drawing Naruto's ire. "You think you've got issues? Gaki, you don't even know what real issues are."

Only respect for the value of the Ichiraku's property kept Naruto from slamming his fists onto the countertop. "Who the fuck do you think you are, old man?" the blond demanded, whirling to face the interloper. Blue eyes blazed as Naruto contemplated the best ways to properly eviscerate the man, only to widen comically as they beheld the source of their rage.

The man was huge, for there was no other word to describe his size, and dressed in one of the most ridiculous outfits the chunin hopeful had ever seen. A green, short skirt kimono and matching pants were covered by an almost knee length red vest; mesh armor and hand guards covered the rest of his upper body, and traditional geta covered his feet. Blood red lines ran from under his eyes to the edge of his face, standing out starkly against the pure white hair that reached the middle of the man's back.

It was the hair that gave him away, and Naruto sputtered in shock for a moment as recognition flared within him. In the distant recesses of his mind, he marveled at having now met two of the Legendary Sannin in the span of a few days.

"I've got a lotta names, gaki," the man drawled with a smile that oozed smug satisfaction. "But you probably know me as Jiraiya."

All of the pent of anger and frustration that had almost been released upon the man evaporated in the blink of an eye as Naruto stumbled over himself. Later, he would curse himself for his lack of composure in front of a living legend. "I-I'm sorry, Jiraiya-sama. My name is Uzu-"

"No need to introduce yourself, kid. I know who you are," the Sannin said wryly. At Naruto's grimace he clapped him on the forearm. "Get that a lot? Lemme tell you something, gaki: being well know ain't a bad thing. It's as much a weapon as those knives you got at your waist; you just gotta know how to use it."

Naruto blinked at the odd advice as Jiraiya signaled Ayame for his check. The huge man's eyes swiveled to the girl as she approached, raking over her form so quickly that Naruto thought he may have imagined it.

"It's on the house, Jiraiya-sama. I insist," Ayame said with a smile. "It's an honor to serve you."

The man chuckled deeply, his eyes never leaving Ayame's. "Ah, but that leaves me with a problem. My waitress, a beautiful young woman, served me so well that I had wanted to leave her a generous tip. Surely you wouldn't deny such a lovely lady her reward?"

Ayame blushed at the compliments to her, and the Sannin's smile widened. "Of course you wouldn't," he concluded, taking the girl's right hand in his own. He laid a fleeting kiss on her overturned knuckles before turning it over and withdrawing, somehow leaving a small pile of coins in her outstretched hand.

With one last grin at the stunned serving girl, Jiraiya rose languidly, picking up a large scroll that had rested next to his stool and swinging it over his shoulders onto his back. Naruto stared after him in wonderment and confusion as he moved towards the flaps that served as Ichiraku's entrance. One hand parted the cloth, revealing the outside world, and he turned back with an eyebrow raised.

"You coming, gaki?" he asked Naruto, jerking his head in the direction of the rest of the village.

The blond, still motionless, processed the question in an instant before his eyes widened. Through the haze of confusion, he managed to spare enough thought to drop a few ryo on the countertop to cover his meal before he practically leapt from his stool and rushed to the exit. Jiraiya, waiting with a wry smile and his eyebrow still raised, gestured for Naruto pass through before following without a word.

The blond obliged him and exited to the busy, midafternoon streets. Blinking to get his bearings, Naruto turned to find Jiraiya, only to be greeted with the sight of the man's back making its way through the crowd of civilians doing their business. The blond scowled at the blatant disrespect, feeling his anger and frustration return, but mastered himself in a moment as he quickly followed the large man.

Despite having legs far longer than Naruto's, Jiraiya wasn't moving hurriedly. The genin caught up in a matter of seconds, pulling level with a question flying off his tongue. "Jiraiya-sama, I-"

"Hang on a second, kiddo, gotta take care of a bit of business," the Sannin said without even sparing Naruto a glance. "Hold this for me, will ya'?" The blond rushed to snatch the behemoth of a scroll before it could fall to the ground, grunting as the unexpected weight settled in his hands.

His companion had disappeared into a nearby stall, Naruto noted with growing consternation. "The hell am I supposed to do with this?" he mumbled. The guy takes me away from lunch to hold his scroll? He would've wondered why he was even there, but the answer was simple.

When one of Konoha's Sannin beckoned, you went. Whatever the famous ninja wanted from him would be sorted out in due time – preferably sooner rather than later in Naruto's mind.

Doing his best to keep his mind off the building annoyance towards the legend, the blond busied himself with inspecting the scroll he had been burdened with. "What in the heavens could he be storing in here?" Naruto wondered aloud. It's huge!

"Things above your pay grade, gaki," Jiraiya rumbled from just behind him. Naruto – to his shame – actually started at the sudden appearance of the man. How the hell did his sneak up on me? The scroll was unceremoniously taken from his hands and slung across Jiraiya's back before Naruto had any chance to voice his question, and the man was on his merry way again, munching on a juicy looking fruit.

Only the years of patiently ignoring the villagers' glares and whispered insults kept Naruto from visibly reacting to the Sannin's dismissive behavior. He made me hold that thing so he could buy some fruit? Taking a breath to steady himself – he hated dismissal – he moved after the man.

Waiting patiently for any sign of conversation to be started, and subsequently being disappointed – the man was perfectly happy to keep his silence, apparently – Naruto opened his mouth once more. "Jiraiya-sama, you haven't-"

"Gimme a second, kid, just gotta pop in here real fast," Jiraiya cut across him. Naruto was quicker in reacting to the large scroll being tossed at him the second time around, and caught it with more inches to spare.

"You gotta be kidding me…" Naruto grumbled uncharitably as the Sannin made his way into a stall with a banner that read 'Sake'. I should just go home, he thought. But then, it wasn't an option. By singling him out, the legendary ninja had shown an interest – of what kind, it remained to be seen – in him. Despite the almost unbelievable rudeness, Naruto's interest had been piqued, and he was forced to play along until that curiosity had been satisfied. Fucker knows it too, the blond mused with a scowl, remembering the smugness that had emanated from the man upon being recognized. Asshole…

"Ah, that's good stuff," Jiraiya sighed as he exited the booth. A bottle of newly purchased sake rested in his hand. "You want some?" he asked Naruto, snatching his scroll away.

"Um…" Naruto said eloquently, thrown by the unexpected question. He had never had alcohol before. "I prefer tea, thanks," he managed to force out.

The Sannin scoffed as he started to walk again, Naruto in his wake. "Tch, you sound like the old man. Always sipping on his tea and smoking his pipe. Fine by me. To each their own and all the more for me, I say…"

Unsure of what to say – and unsure of whether or not the man was even paying attention to him anymore – Naruto kept his silence. Inwardly, he wondered at what the man could possibly want with him. Despite evidence to the contrary, Jiraiya had to want something from him beyond just carrying around his scroll as he ran his errands. The question was what it was, and the answer was something Naruto was dying to figure out.

In the wake of Yamato's training, or, rather, the lack thereof, Naruto couldn't help but let his mind drift to the possibility that Jiraiya was looking to take him on as a student. The idea was almost too good to be true, and Naruto was doing his best to think about other things. There was no use in setting himself up for disappointment.

And if today was any indication, maybe being the man's student was more trouble than it was worth.

The silence hung over the duo as they passed out of the village proper, following a wide stone pathway that Naruto knew led to the large hot springs that were at the edge of the village. Wondering at their probably destination, the blond opted to try his luck with talking again.

"Listen, Jiraiya-sama, I'm not sure what it is you-"

He was cut off a third time, not by Jiraiya's words, but by the man's foot hurtling towards his face with enough speed to cave his skull in. Naruto stepped back hastily to avoid the kick that had come without warning, and leapt into the air. Pulling his body into a tight roll, he controlled his momentum and snatched his knuckle knives up from his waist out of reflex. Landing lightly, he lowered himself into a crouch and raised his arms to eye level.

The genin blinked in confusion when all he saw was Jiraiya standing with his foot still outstretched, a contemplative look on his face. The foot was lowered to the ground slowly as the man took in the sight of the battle ready genin.

"What the hell was that for?" Naruto burst out. He still held his knives at the ready, wanting to be prepared for any more surprise attacks the insane man might throw at him.

Jiraiya was silent for a beat, his eyes appraising, before he, for the first time since the ramen stand, turned his full attention to Naruto. "You made space, never a bad thing, but I coulda killed you five times while you were in the air, gaki. Going airborne should be a last resort to avoid attacks, not your first instinct."

Stupefied at the sudden outpouring of useful advice, Naruto remained motionless. He shook himself to regain his bearings, digesting the information all the while, and lowered himself out of his defensive stance. He didn't put his knives away though, and missed the glint of satisfaction in Jiraiya's eyes at the gesture.

"So…you'd suggest a shuffle-step? Or a glide?" Naruto asked tentatively.

"I'd suggest a counterattack," the Sannin returned without missing a beat. "But to anticipate that your situational awareness and anticipation would have to be a lot better than the crap they are now." Jiraiya gave a quick sigh and scratched the back of his head. "Well c'mon then, kid, we've got some work to do."

Naruto, who had bristled at the casual slight against his skills, felt his eyes widen to almost comical size. He was at Jiraiya's side in an instant. "Thank you, Jiraiya-sama," he said with a bow, his voice quiet in near reverence. He's actually gonna teach me!

The Sannin waved him off with a barked laugh. "It's 'sensei' to you, kid. I appreciate the flattery, but I prefer it from women only." He tossed Naruto a wink that left no doubt as to what he meant, and let loose a hearty chuckle when the blond flushed scarlet. "Ha! So innocent. Let's go, gaki, I don't have all day to stand around."

And with that, the white haired man moved off once more in the direction of the hot springs, Naruto in his wake. The blond had a nearly giddy spring in his step as they moved closer to the hot springs, imagination running wild as he thought of everything Jiraiya could teach him. The man was an S-ranked shinobi, one of the most feared men on the continent, and had taught the Yondaime – his father. Not even his disillusionment with his former hero could take away from the man's skills in Naruto's eyes. Namikaze Minato had been unquestionably powerful, and if Jiraiya had been even a miniscule reason for that power, Naruto was in good hands.

So great were his imaginings that Naruto didn't truly notice his surroundings – something he would later berate himself for, as Jiraiya had just criticized his situational awareness – until he and his new sensei were ready to enter the baths.

The women's baths.

The genin started, taking stock of his surroundings and clearly noting that the sign above the entrance to the baths said 'Women', and not 'Men'. Is this a test or something, he wondered. "Um, Jiraiya-sensei…I think we went the wrong way. These are the women's baths…"

"That they are, gaki. Now let's go; I've got research to do." And with that, the Sannin casually stepped into the female side of the hot springs without any form of concealment. No genjutsu, no henge, no nothing.

Naruto was left speechless and motionless at the entrance as he watched the large man slip into the water – water that was already occupied by multiple women – seemingly without a care in the world. And it was apparently warranted, for the women around him paid him no mind at all. There was no shock; no outpouring of righteous female fury at the sight of what was clearly a man sitting among them. A man who was currently raking his eyes over every woman in the water with him with a sort of boyish glee that reminded Naruto of his excitement after executing a perfect prank.

After thoroughly appraising his company, Jiraiya turned his expectant eyes on Naruto, gesturing with his head as if to say "What are you waiting for?"

The blond, the beginnings of what had to be the largest flush of his life marring his face, glanced about furtively, making sure no eyes were on him. He took a deep breath to steady himself – Get it together, Uzumaki! – and stepped cautiously into the baths. No screams of rage greeted him. His second step was much the same and, not willing to push his luck, he scampered over to where Jiraiya was lounging and lowered himself into the water. His eyes never left the stone flooring the whole time, unwilling as he was to risk catching a glimpse of the numerous naked women who had no idea there were two men in their midst.

"Ah, women," Jiraiya sighed. "One of life's greatest pleasures right here, kiddo. Savor them and treasure them, they're fickle and far better than we are."

"Yes, sensei," Naruto acknowledged, his eyes shifting anywhere and everywhere there wasn't another person. The sight of two brunettes playfully splashing water at each other snagged his gaze for a moment before he averted his eyes, his face flaming.

The byplay wasn't unnoticed by Jiraiya, who clapped him on the back with a chuckle. "Relax, runt, and enjoy the view. They can't see us. And you'll have to figure out how on your own," he said quickly as Naruto opened his mouth with a question on the tip of his tongue. The blond closed it with a snap and ran his left hand through his hair, partly out of frustration and partly to settle himself. Ino's light flirtations had nothing on his discomfort now.

Blinking suddenly, the blond stared at his left forearm. The slightest discoloration stood out against the sweaty skin, only visible due to the increasingly red tint to Naruto's skin. Is that… "Fuuinjutsu," he breathed. His mind flashed to his encounter with his new sensei at Ichiraku's, where he had clapped him on the arm. Blue eyes snapped to the cheeky, smiling visage of the man in question and received a small nod. "How did you…?"

"A lesson for another day, gaki. You're not advanced enough for that yet, and we've got other things to cover." The suddenly serious expression on the man's face forestalled any protest Naruto had, and the boy nodded. "Good. Now, tell me, kid, what's the cup size of the strawberry blond?"

Naruto choked on his own saliva as he started at the unexpected – and ridiculous – question. "I-I'm sorry, what?"

"You heard me, runt. Strawberry blond, what's her cup size?" The Sannin's face was set in stone, a single eyebrow raised.

He's actually serious! "Um…" Naruto trailed off. He forced his eyes to scan the women in the bath. It took him a couple of seconds to locate the lone strawberry blond in the room, who lounged with a group of four. She stretched languidly for a moment, and Naruto averted his eyes in embarrassment. "B cup?" he ventured, calling upon the very limited knowledge of women's cup sizes Kiba had seen fit to bestow upon him.

"32B to be exact," the Sannin corrected, his own eyes never leaving Naruto. "Not a bad guess, but it took you a year and a half to get it."

"I had to find her first, sensei," Naruto quickly justified, and just as quickly berated himself as he saw exactly where Jiraiya was headed with this "exercise".

"And there's your problem, gaki," the man admonished. "You never took stock of your surroundings. Were you embarrassed? Sure, but that's no excuse. We're shinobi, kid, and that means that we've gotta know what's going around us all the time. No. Matter. What."

"I…understand, sensei," Naruto acknowledged. He lifted his eyes from the water he sat in, willing himself to scan the numerous women scattered about. There were nine: three brunettes, four blondes, a single redhead, and the strawberry blond. The fire in his cheeks was steadily ignored.

"Good. We can rectify your lack of cup size knowledge later," Jiraiya chuckled. "Next question: how many kunoichi are in here?"

Naruto's brow furrowed. How am I supposed to know that? Blue eyes flickered over the nine women, looking for any tip offs. All nine were perfectly at ease, with very little difference in their bearings. They all smiled. They all splashed. They all stretched. Underneath the underneath, Naruto.

"Two," he said finally. At Jiraiya's encouraging nod he elaborated. "Their muscle tone is sharper, more defined."

"Good. Which ones are they?"

"Third brunette on the left and the redhead, sensei," the blond answered with confidence.

"And what's the redhead's specialty?"

Naruto paused, unsure. His eyes flickered over to the woman in question once more, searching for any clues. Nothing in her build, for it was slight and athletic, tipped him off. Her shoulders and eyes were just as at ease as every other woman in the bath, including her brunette counterpart across the water. "I don't know…"

"That's 'cause you don't know what to look for. Her wrists are thicker than everyone else's in here and do you see the light markings around her chest?" the Sannin asked, gesturing to the woman's breasts. Naruto nodded, doing his best to halt the massive blush that overtook him as the redhead shifted. "Signs of taping. Now, a lot of kunoichi tape their breasts down so they don't inhibit movement, even with sports bras, but that plus her strong wrists means-"

"Close combat," Naruto finished with a nod. Jiraiya gave him a grin.

"Most likely. Knowing a ninja's specialty gives you an idea of how best to fight them, how to use certain things to your advantage and how close you might wanna get. It might be the difference between cooking someone with a fireball and getting your neck broken," the Sannin lectured. "Now, when you can determine all of that with a glance, you might be worth something as a shinobi."

Naruto only nodded his acceptance, mind reeling at the unorthodox lesson. How often had he charged headlong into fights without stopping to appraise his enemy first? Way too many times, he acknowledged. Often, the element of surprise had carried him through, but it wouldn't always. Not everyone would be so easily overwhelmed by his Fuuton techniques.

His mind flashed to the Wave Country mission, when he had gotten himself trapped in a brawl with a man twice his size and strength in close quarters. He hadn't been able to maneuver himself into a dominant position, and had only escaped relatively unscathed thanks to Ino's timely intervention.

"I think I understand, sensei," Naruto said, locking eyes with the Sannin. And he did. He had to be able to adapt to his opponents to a certain extent, and knowing more about them was the key.

"Good. Not bad for a first day, gaki," Jiraiya said, reaching down to ruffle Naruto's hair. The blond swatted at him half-heartedly, drawing a chuckle. "Keep what we talked about in mind wherever you go. It'll become natural eventually."

"Yes, sensei."

"Now get outta here, I've got research to do and you're cramping my style." The Sannin shooed him away with his hand, a lecherous glint in his eye as he scanned the crowd of women in the baths.

Naruto acquiesced with a roll of his eyes. "Pervert," he muttered under his breath.

"That's Super Pervert to you, kiddo, and don't ever let me catch you selling me short," Jiraiya said sternly. The genin blinked at the completely serious face and nodded hesitantly. Super pervert it is…

He turned to make his way out of the baths, only for the voice of his new, very unusual sensei to stop him in his tracks. "Hey, gaki. The old man said you were working on chakra control, right?"

Distantly, Naruto realized that the 'old man' was the Hokage. It was nice to know someone besides him called Sarutobi that. "Yeah," he answered.

"Take this." A sphere suddenly was hurtling towards his face. Naruto caught it with trepidation; trepidation that only increased when he realized it was filled with water.

"A water balloon?" Where the hell did he hide this thing? he wondered.

"Yeah, kid. Try popping it with just your chakra and nothing else. It'll do wonders for your control," the Sannin told him. The man pulled another balloon from nowhere and held it in his open palm. Without prompting, the latex began to ripple in every direction imaginable before suddenly exploding outwards in a shower of water. Naruto felt his eyes widening at the sight. "And you might wanna buy a few more of those…" Jiraiya gestured to the balloon with a wry grin, "…it ain't easy."

"Yes, sensei," Naruto demurred, eyes on the balloon and mind full of the image that had just played out before him. Taking the man's lack of attention as dismissal, the blond turned and strode out of the baths unnoticed by the female populace.

Staring down at the water balloon in his hand, he mused that maybe things weren't quite so bad after all.

/~/