5 Alucard in Twilight

So, this one comes from a very spiteful part of myself. I despise the Twilight franchise with a great passion. I understand that it's a love story and meant for young women, but that can't excuse the dumb changes to both vampire and werewolf lore. Now, I actually like the idea of some vampires having special powers beyond the normal enhancements, it's a great concept. But, seriously? Sparkling in sunlight? You could have had a near identical plot with the normal weakness, just have her meet him at a cram school or something at night. Hell, I wouldn't have minded his day-walking being due to some special sunscreen, just not fucking sparkles.

So, moving past my little tirade, I thought what better way to make this series better than bringing in the vampire in red, Alucard. Come on, you know he'd be fucking furious that these posers are calling themselves vampires. Oh, and we're talking the Alucard from the end of Hellsing Ultimate, the one who can't die unless he wants to. I'm pretty sure this would be the most enjoyable thing to come from Twilight.

Now, I hear you say, "What about the plot?" Well, sit down and listen. Who gives a shit? I just want this to be Alucard wandering city to city, killing every vampire he finds. Ah, catharsis is truly blissful. What? You want more? Well, I mean, I suppose he could also search for a way back home. But anything beyond that is up to You. Just make sure there are plenty of details on how each vampire dies.