Acceptance Part 4

'Shit. I slipped.'

Yoo Jonghyuk knew, he screwed up. His face was red like a tomato, his steps were steadfast and so was his heartbeat. As he breezed through the hallway, he remembered the words he said to Kim Dokja a few moments ago.

<I don't hate you, Kim Dokja, rather… I'm thankful that my ■■, was to be with you.>

<Whether you're a Beta or an Omega… You're still you, Kim Dokja! Why would I hate you just because you're different?>

<If something happens between us, I would welcome it with open arms either way.>

His eyes squinted as Jonghyuk reflected on the words he conveyed to Dokja. He stops on his tracks and crouches down in shame. Jonghyuk scuffs his head vigorously, messing up his hair. Frustration and apprehension filled Jonghyuk's thoughts.

'Damn it. Was I too obvious? These feelings… I don't want to trouble him...' Jonghyuk clutches his chest as he tries to calm himself.

His heartbeat pulsated with joy after expressing the emotions he had been suppressing for years. However, the feeling of doubt at the back of his head snaps him back to rationality.

'Or is this because we're Fated? Is that the reason why I'm having these feelings? What if… Dokja only sees me as a family? Not as a Mate?' He sighs and stands back up to collect himself.

'Though it is likely… he treats me more like an elder brother, now that I think about it.'

Jonghyuk checks the time on his wristwatch, it was now 10:46 PM and visitation hours were almost over.

'Let's not think of such things, for now, Dokja needs to recover and rest first.'

He then marches toward the nurse's station.

***

"He loves me…"

Kim Dokja slaps himself once more to wake him up from his stupor. The pain was real and it became a bitter reminder for him about what transpired a while ago. It wasn't a dream, but a reality.

"Or is it because of me turning into an Omega?"

He reminisces the time he spent with Jonghyuk from the last 5 years. Jonghyuk had taught him how to do chores, helped him with his studies and deeply cared for him. The memories he saw were full of filial love, and it baffled him more as Jonghyuk acted more like a parent instead of a lover towards him.

"Then what made him fall for me?"

Dokja recollects the events yesterday morning: Jonghyuk wiped his tears after he woke up from a bad dream. Followed by Jonghyuk carrying him to the dining table to have breakfast. Jonghyuk also reached out to fix his crooked tie and gave him a generous lunch.

"Well, he's touchy lately… Or is it…?"

The memories from Daehwa Station resurfaces from his mind.

He recalls the days when he dreamt of Jonghyuk's adventures, his challenges, and his actions. Eventually, the day when he met the 1864th Kim Dokja reappeared in his mind.

Tears started to flow uncontrollably from his eyes as the rush of the 0th turn memories flooded into him like a tsunami. He remembered a novel and it's tragic protagonist.

"...Did I cause all of this?"

Dokja's face pales. He remembered every chapter of the novel, and the comments he said which influenced the author to inflict further pain and suffering towards the hero. Dokja's teardrops were relentless, soaking the pillow on his head.

"I gave him the stigma of regression."

He remembered Jonghyuk's pained expressions whenever he had to regress, he saw his injuries, his companions dying alongside him. Dokja saw Jonghyuk's pain, anger, frustration, despair and his countless deaths.

He remembered it all, the tragedy of the hero.

The heavy burden of being the sole reader weighed down on him and the guilt of dreaming endlessly made him realise.

"I… I… Don't deserve… to love him."

~~~

Jonghyuk managed to notify Dokja's physician and returned to the suite after ten minutes.

"Hmm… it's good to see the patient conscious and responsive. However…" The doctor then pulls out Kim Dokja's patient data sheet on his tablet. "We'll need to observe him further should there be any complications after suffering from severe hypothermia. And also…"

The doctor glances at Dokja and Jonghyuk apprehensively.

"Patient Kim's state is currently unstable as he's showing signs of the early phases of Estrus."

Dokja's irises dilated in shock. "T-then, the cramps and the queasiness I'm feeling… Doctor, are those…?"

"Yes, it is related to that. Your body is currently in a state of change. This is fairly common for recessive Omegas since your Beta physiology would slowly transition into an Omega's. Having painful abdominal cramps usually is related to the development of a womb." The doctor then fixes his glasses and turns his attention to Jonghyuk.

"I would also recommend Mr Yoo here to keep his distance for the meantime, as recessive Omegas are very vulnerable to Alpha pheromones. Prolonged exposure to it may cause additional stress to your already unstable body… unless of course both of you are already pairs, then you'll be unaffected by it."

Dokja and Jonghyuk averted their eyes from the doctor.

"Well… if you aren't paired then it'll be a lot riskier for you, patient Kim."

The doctor then flicks the screen on the tablet. "We also checked the records here, it seems that you were scheduled for a comprehensive exam earlier, but your slot was missed. If you wish to do so, we can have it rescheduled."

He then glances at Kim Dokja. "But just to set your expectation, your confinement might take more than a week since we'll need to wait for your body to recover from the aftereffects of hypothermia." The doctor then pulls out a bundle of papers from the tablet's case.

"I'll leave an admission form here for you to fill out should you wish to proceed. You may need to file this at the registry downstairs before 8:30 AM tomorrow to schedule the exam." The doctor then hands over the papers to Jonghyuk.

"If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask for me at the nurse's station." The doctor smiles gently at both of them. "I'll be returning to my rounds for now." He then walks out of the room, leaving both Dokja and Jonghyuk to discuss.

The room was stiflingly silent. Jonghyuk took his time reading the forms that the doctor had left him while Dokja averted his face as he tried to conceal his swollen eyes from the man seated beside him.

Dokja felt disconnected after realising that Jonghyuk loved him more than family. He laid back on his bed and turned his head, facing the windows.

Jonghyuk, however, was embarrassed. He had already finished reading the forms, but he pretended to look preoccupied as he found it difficult to start a conversation with Dokja, especially now that his feelings of affection had been exposed.

Dokja decides to break the silence.

As he gazed outside the windows, watching the snowfall, he mumbles. "Jonghyuk."

"Hmm? What is it, Dokja?" Jonghyuk kept his eyes on the paper.

"I'll… go ahead with the admission…"

"Okay- Wait, what?" Jonghyuk puts down the form on the bed table and stands from his seat. He then looks at Kim Dokja who was blankly staring outside.

"Are you serious?"

"I'll sign the form." Dokja met his gaze, it looked like Jonghyuk was disappointed after hearing about his decision.

"But you'll be confined here indefi-"

Dokja cuts him off. "I'm aware. It's just that… I can't… keep bothering you with my constitution. I think it would be best if I stay here until my body stabilizes." A bitter smile was etched on his face.

Kim Dokja knew that he didn't deserve to be by Yoo Jonghyuk's side after all of the terrible things he put him through. The guilt weighed on him heavily and it made him unable to answer Jonghyuk's earnest feelings.

Jonghyuk clicks his tongue and clenches his fists, a bitter frown appears on his face.

"Didn't I tell you earlier that I don't give a damn if you're an Omega? If you're taking the exam because you think I'll be inconvenienced by it then you're wrong." Jonghyuk sits on the bedside, several inches away from Dokja, who averted his eyes.

"Kim Dokja."

"..."

"Look at me."

"...No."

"Please."

Jonghyuk reaches for Kim Dokja's face, he then cups both of his hands onto his cheeks, gently caressing them. The gesture caught Dokja off-guard, and he meets Jonghyuk's eyes.

Dokja saw it, his eyes were filled with hope and yearning.

"Kim Dokja, I'll say it again… but, I'll be frank." Jonghyuk takes a deep breath, his heart was pounding and his ears were flushed red.

"I don't hate you nor I don't mind you being an Omega. You are my Fated and my ■■ is to be by your side."

Tears started to swell from Dokja's eyes, his vision became blurry and his throat felt tight as he tried to hold back his emotions.

"Jonghyuk…" Tears started to trickle down on Dokja's cheeks. "I.. I don't deserve you… after all I've done." A soft whimper escapes from his mouth. His chest felt heavy as he carried the weight of his guilt.

"I don't care about the past anymore, Dokja. I've already forgotten about those after meeting you at Daehwa." Jonghyuk whispers to Dokja.

"B-but Jonghyuk, it was because of me that you've suffered too mu-"

Jonghyuk interrupts. "The regressions… I've already forgiven those."

Jonghyuk inches closer to the bed.

"I want to move forward with you, Dokja."

Jonghyuk leans and gently pulls in Dokja's face to his. Their noses barely touched, and a mild scent of black tea and lavender slowly fills the room.

Dokja's eyes dilated in shock as he felt Jonghyuk's soft lips land on his, His body twitched as he felt the man slip in his tongue, coaxing his own to action. It felt terribly good and Dokja's body didn't resist the pleasure. Slowly, he closed his eyes and loosened his lips, making it easier for Jonghyuk to smother him as they stimulated each other's tongues.

Jonghyuk found it endearing as Dokja slowly opened up himself. He kneeled forward pinning down Dokja's head and body back to the bed. Dokja welcomed Jonghyuk's advance and his hands slowly writhed onto the man's chest eventually latching onto his broad back.

The scent of their pheromones grew stronger as they exchanged their warmth.

Dokja feels Jonghyuk's hands slither from his cheeks and down to his neck, his rough fingers gently caress his bare skin. Gradually, one of Jonghyuk's hands smoothens along Dokja's nape, touching the scent gland.

A soft moan of pleasure escapes from Dokja as Jonghyuk fondles the tender spot. Dokja felt feverish every time the man's fingers fiddled with his nape and his breaths had become shallow.

Jonghyuk releases the kiss and gazes down at Dokja who was flushed red and gasping for breath. He then wraps his arms around him, locking him in a tight embrace.

"I love you, Kim Dokja… Please be my Mate."