1 summer day

it's was like an normal day, I was in school, spending my day doing nothing, other people have so much to do with thier life

their are many kind students existed in human society like winner who try know success, and end up having normal life.

some are students who have nothing do and end up playing extra in someone story, and they also have normal life.

some human, or every human, think they are different, they are blessed with some abilities, but in the end, they failed to stand on their expectations.

nobody is different but some of us are, who recognize by world and have desire life, but still we failed to stand on desire expectations and die.

some time who are to sensitive and observe ourselves Closely and build false believe and some look too closely in other people personality and yet they also failed to stand on expectations.

it just normal day, everyone seem to enjoying their life, girls are swinging, boy are playing football.

and I am just sleeping in class room, what the point of living with emptiness and waiting for death.

all I just wanted to sleep and want for my own dead, I still feel strange, when I heard people scared from dead.

why are they hate it so much, for me life is more cruel than life.

I fell a sleep in classroom, i Saw a strange dream, it was a fine dream, it was a dream, but it hard for me to decide, what is reality and what is dream.

i was dreaming about, a girl, she and I was dating each other, it clear that I was happy and feel alive, at that moment I was happy, I truly feel alive.

for me it not a dream, when I was trying to process everything, she call out my name.

I don't know who she calling for, her kimono was very cute, she look like an angel.

she hold my hand and pulled me, it was like, all this time I was standing under cloud, who cover up world.

when she pulled me, it feel like an angel, take me to her world, my heart beat racing, we are walking.

" why are you spacing out, we have to take train, we are getting late"

at this rate, I don't remember anything, but one thing I know, she is my girlfriend, their is no past or future for me, I was really living in present.

the thought of suicide completely disappeared from my head, I just want to spend every moment of my life with her.

" do you have tickets of train don't you"

" w- what are you saying, ooh yes I have those see now"

it strange from outside I am someone else, but from inside I am old me, I hope that I just disappear and the only thing remain, extroverted and happy me.

" what happen with you, why you look so nervous, we near, let race to station, if i win then you have to treat me, and if you win than you can ask for anything 😉"

" really everything, okey, but don't regret later, I won't go easy on you"

we race, I realize I was laughing, I was laughing with her, I couldn't believe, I can laugh, it fun to have someone, who is cheerful and alive.

" I win, now what are you ready for punishment, I will not go easy on you"

" are you really going to punish me, don't be so hard on me"

fuck, she was blushing, her eyes shinning, how could I do something to her, this is cruelty, if I touch her, I will going to hell for sure.

" look train, we are getting late, but I will never forget you own me one"

luckily their not much crowd inside, we easily get set, I was quite embarrassing to sit next to your girlfriend you have just met.

" why you become my girlfriend, what you see in me, why you think I will be match for you"

" what happen, it sounded like you are comparing yourself, and creating border between us"

I think she is right, I was whising to die, but why she want to date a guy like me.

" I doesn't mean that"

" I only say once. I love you because you are you, nobody like you, so nobody better than you, i- really love you"

after hearing her reaction, my insecurities are disappeared, I feel lighted.

" I really love you too.

it was really embarrassing, but it was fun.