22 There is no us.

Lance. 

The moment I was dreading has finally come upon me. John has a confused expression on his face. I don't belong in this narrative in this moment. I shouldn't be in his house. He looks like he was expecting someone else. 

"Lance," he calls my name again. 

"Mr Hilly, hi," I run my hands through my hair. 

Ford is watching, he is confused as the smile that was on his face disappears. "How do you two know each other?" Johns asks and suddenly he seems excited by the prospect of us knowing each other. 

He wants us to be friends, he wants us to get along. That has been his wish ever since he met me. We would be good brothers. So now, what do I say to this. How do I explain that I don't want to be brothers with your son? I love him and want to be with him. All those thoughts are in my head, I can't dare to say them out loud. It is an abomination; he will never understand.