14 The Escape

Lance.

"Let go of me."

I jerk my hand off her and she opens her eyes wide from the shock of my outburst. I am on panic mode right now; we are in front of their house and he could find me any moment from now.

I don't want to be caught. I need to tread this slowly. I can't lose him because of her. I need to figure out what this is, it might be the only real thing I will ever have and I am about to lose him because of her.

"What is wrong with you," she yells.

I take a step back and she watches me, to her this is an overreaction. I should just suck it up. He doesn't know what is running through my head "I am sorry mom; I don't want to be involved in this. I know you don't understand and I can't explain it to you but I need to leave," I take another step and she doesn't reach for me. I see the sadness on her face as I take more steps until I am running away from her.

She won't understand this.

I know that for a fact but I can't see him in this situation. Ford is not happy in his home; he is a shell of himself. Whoever he is pretending to be is not who he really is but once he finds out that I am his father's fiance's son, he will withdraw from me. He will run away from this, I don't want him to run away from me.

I stop running and place my hands on my knees with heavy breaths once I am out of the estate gate. The roads are full of cars, there are people on the sidewalk. No one seems to care about me or my situation. I am stuck in this on my own.

"Fuck," I shout loudly.

Two girls turn around and stare at me but I ignore them and continue walking slowly. I need to clear my head, I need to think. What am I going to do now? Can I even be with him anymore?

Once mom gets married, I won't be able to hide it anymore. I can run away from this as long as I want but it will always be the way things are. The only escape from this situation is a break-up, if she breaks up with John, I could be with him. I don't want her to break up with John, he makes her happy. After dad, I don't want her to suffer any more for any man. I don't want her sadness in exchange for my happiness. This is unfair, why does this have to happen to me?

"Gamer boy," I hear his voice faintly. For a second it seems like it is all in my head. I look to the direction and I see him. He has a smile on his face, there is excitement—he is excited to see me. I take a couple of deep breaths because there are two things I could do right now.

1. Act like I didn't see him and keep walking. I don't want to do this because I actually missed him. I missed him so much.

2. Or go up to him.

He is parked at the edge of the road in his car, the window is rolled down and his arm is placed on it. He has shades on. His hair is messy in just the ay I like it. He is driving towards the direction of his house—he is going for their dinner. The dinner I was supposed to attend, the dinner I ran away from.

"Gamer boy," he calls me again this time waving his hand in the air as a gesture to get me over to him. I inhale because I am tense right now, he will see right through me' he will know something is wrong and I can't tell him about this. I am not ready to lose him. To lose his smile, his kiss, his touch. I am not ready to lose the love I could have with him.

I take slow step towards him and he opens the door to his car. He is dressed in basketball shorts and a tank top. His sneakers are white Adidas with black stripes. I watch him close the door of his scar and lean against it patiently until I am close to him. "You know I thought my eyes were deceiving me when I saw you. I have been thinking about you all day today," he says cheekily.

I manage a fake smile because that is all I can give him at this moment. There is a sadness that I shouldn't show him, there are emotions that are begging to burst out. I am angry at the world, angry that I can't be with the only person that I want to be with.

"Are you okay?" he reaches for me and I realise I am crying as he wipes a drop of tear from my cheek. This is not the time to cry, I shouldn't be crying but I can't help myself. The tears start to pour and he pulls me into his arms for a hug. I hold him tightly because I don't know if I will ever get the chance again. There is no promised future with him anymore. There is only now, this moment.

**************

"You wanna talk about it?" he says pulling back from my arms slowly. I shake my head because I can't talk about it. If I talk about this, we will both be sad.

"I am okay," I lie.

He nods and grabs my hand in his "Do you wanna go somewhere quiet?" he asks.

He is supposed to be going home. He has that dinner that I don't even want him to go for. I don't want him with my mom and his dad, acting like a fucking happy family. I don't want that picture painted in my head.

"Where do you have in mind?"

He smiles "How much do you trust me?"

I trust him so much but I don't say anything. I don't tell him how I want more than what we have, I don't tell him that I think about him more than I think about anything else. He is like breathing to me, someone I met a couple of days ago. How is this even possible?

"Come on," he pulls me to his car and I enter with the hopes that I don't say something to mess this up. I am completely worried that if I don't tell him what I just find out right now, he will hate me more. I don't want him to hate him.

"Where are we going?" I ask as he starts the car.

"Somewhere I have never taken anyone else to. Trust me you will never want to leave," he winks at me and my heart melts to pieces. All the worries of earlier go to the deepest part of my memory that I have no reason to dig up. I don't want to think about what I am going to have to tell him, I don't want to think about how he will react. I just want to enjoy this moment with him.

Ford keeps on driving until we get to an abandoned building. It is gated and on the side of town, I would never picture him going. He turns off the ignition and smiles at me widely "Where is this?"

He chuckles probably excited to be here. I don't know where here is but I am curious to know what is inside the building. "Just wait and see," he winks and gets down from the car. I am hesitant to get down because the longer we spend together, the closer I will have to tell him the truth. I don't plan on keeping this from him, I want him to know. I don't want this to look like deceit. It isn't intentional, so I don't want him to think I did this, knowing who he was.

He runs to the other side of the car and I watch him open the door or me like a perfect gentleman. He is still smiling and as he grabs my hand in his I get down from the car "How good are you at swimming?" he asks.

I shrug "I don't know, been a while still I got in a pool."

He frowns "Would you want to get into one with me?" we walk closer to the gates and I notice that they are rusty. This place looks hunted.

"Are you sure we're allowed in here?" I raise a brow.

He laughs "I think so," he stops in front of me and grabs both my hands in his. I look up to get a clearer view of his face and he seems genuinely happy to be with me. This man here is happy to be with me, I am happy to be with him. Why do we have to lose it all for other people? Why do I have to sacrifice everything for my mother every time?

I am exhausted.

"You think," I ask him amused.

He nods and grabs my chin softly. He uses the opportunity to raise my head up and his lips press against mine gently. I hold my breath because I want to revel in this kiss for as long as I can. I want this moment to last forever but I know like all the things in my life that it must come to an end. Nothing last forever.

He pulls back from the kiss after a couple of seconds and I release the breath I have been holding. Kissing FOrd is amazing, I never knew a kiss could be that intense. Being with him has opened so many doors that I never want to leave.

"So...getting into one with me, you didn't answer?" he reminds me of his previous question.

"I'd like that."