50 No harm, no foul.

Ford. 

Fuck.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. 

The look on his face.

The disappointment in his eyes. 

I never want to see that again. 

Who would've thought that I would meet someone from my school and basketball team? Fucking hell, I thought this date would begin and end smoothly. Everything was going perfectly and then Nate just had to show up and mess things up. You have no idea how badly I wanted to introduce him as my boyfriend.

That is all I wanted to do. the words were at the tip of my tongue but I knew I couldn't do it. We have to keep this a secret. That was the arrangement, I am not doing this anymore because of the fear of coming out. I am doing this because I don't want to lose him. the minute everything is out there, I will lose him. there is no doubt in my mind that my dad will make sure I never get to see him again. 

I don't like the look on his face. 

I hate it so much.