82 Honesty never hurts.

Jack.

I don't know why I am telling him all this. 

Maybe I just need to get it off my chest. It has been eating me up. The way I treated Patrick after. I am not the type of person that turns into a monster when they are in denial. 

Right now it feels like I am in denial. 

Patrick was right, I have gay panic. 

Not because I hate the fact that I could be gay but because of my father. The one person I wish was proud of me. He looks at me and sees a disappointment. A mistake in his life that he wishes he could erase. 

''How did that happen?'' Lance asks quietly. I can see the shock written on his face. I can't tell if he is upset. I could've fucked anyone else but the one guy that had a crush on my best friend. As usual, it is that one person that I shouldn't that I did. 

''We were drunk,'' I tell him the truth.