103 Feel the love.

Jack. 

I am losing my fucking mind. 

What the hell is Trick doing to me. 

I didn't come to his apartment tonight to ask him to be my fucking boyfriend. That was not the plan, that was far from the plan but lying down next to him on his bed, I needed to make him mine.

He didn't say yes to me. I would've been pissed if this was someone else, but this is Patrick. I know he is fighting all the fears he has within him. I am not the easiest person to be around. .i have done a lot to him that I regret. Selfish and jerky things. I don't blame him if he never wants to see me again. I am here in his arms, kissing him. Jesus, this is the best feeling ever. 

How did I suddenly become gay over night?