38 Swear

My eyes widen in his cold stare. I couldn't believe that he heard us. I thought he's inside his office that time. Damn it!

His eyes looks so disappointed with the same anger in it. And I just can't help but to bit my lips at that. I feel guilty where I shouldn't feel it in the first place..

I did everything just for him to see me.. I did all the crazy acts, freak out with Dana, staying with him even if it hurts like hell.. I was hoping that someday he will see me as a woman and own him as my man.

But for what I can see now, his dark expression proves me that he's mad and..jealous..

I don't want to assume things, but as I reflect on his reaction right now there's something on me that's telling me he's damn jealous.

I've never seen Noah as angry as he is right now. The way he stare and the way he cursed, I know something was off. And I'm damn terrified for it's reason. I can't believe it.

"Is that why you're not looking at me? Did your feelings for him came back?" His voice cracks. Damn Noah.

I can hear desperation in his voice, he looks so sad and scared for what I'll say. This is so hard.

I know I had a crush on Pierre before and I did dream about him liking me too but it's all in the past now. I have no feelings for him anymore.

And damn Noah, it's just you. I am madly in love with you.

I want to say those words to him but I can't. I am too weak to speak right now and I'm scared for this feelings to happen.

"Do you still like him? Fuck!" He cursed at the wind while holding his forehead.

Does it hurt him? No. It can't be.

He touched my waist and bring me closer to him.

"Am I giving you a hard time, baby?" His voice are shaking and damn that 'baby' thing. My heart cry for that. Shit!

I just shook my head while biting my lips. I want to scold myself for not speaking right now! He's damn scared and I couldn't even do something to make him feel better.

He's thinking that I still like Pierre but not anymore. The way I feel about him before is different with how in love I am with this gorgeous man in front of me right now.

I smiled and touched his face, I know I'm still shaking but I just can't help but to touch him. Our eyes met and now all I can see was affection in his eyes. Shit!

I've never seen it coming! He's too tempting now!

He held my hand on his face and smile, "Just say you like me more and I'm not going to freak out anymore.." He says in a very emotional way.

My jaw dropped because of that. He wants me to confess and damn! We're on this loud and a freakin' crowded place, how am I supposed to compose myself at that!

All the same ferocity that I've felt before when he kissed me came back. No, this is like a dying wish for me!

But something's telling me that I need to hear him first. I need to hear those words from his mouth. I want to beg him saying it, 'cause I'm damn lost right now. And I think I can't held back anymore..

"I like you, Raine." And I've never expect this!

My heart races and all my inhibitions went away. All I can see and think right now, is this man in front of me.

He likes you, Raine!

Damn, Noah.

I bit my lips and I just felt my legs weakened. I can't believed he confessed now.

He's looking at me intensely! Shit!

I don't know where to find some confidence to answer him but I just can't stay like this. I need him to know my feelings.

"I..I-i..like you too.." My voice are shaking and I just looked down.

I can hear the beat of the music as loud as my heart beat right now. I can't run away anymore Noah. I'm damn tired of running. Can I stay with you now?

My eyes watered while looking at his smiling face. He looks so happy and damn, he's really handsome.

"I can't stay fucking like this anymore, Raine. Let's get out of here," He says then he grabs my hand.

I don't know but I like how tempting he is. I stopped myself from smiling while looking at his back. Biting my lips is my only escape from this.

When we reach outside, he turn to me and look me in the eye. He's looking at me directly with his sweet smile that I could see those sparkling eyes shining for me.

I suddenly felt conscious to how I look right now. He's fucking staring at me and geez I'm not okay. I think I probably needs to check myself.

"Look at you now, you look so shy, huh?" He smirk and he just so look handsome and cool. Shit!

I blushed when he touched my face, what is he doing?

"Don't be embarrassed, Raine. You're the most beautiful for me.." And that made me blushed even more..

I felt like someone's tickling my stomach and I just couldn't help but to feel tense! Does he know how much his words affects my entire system?

But it really feels odd. I feel like something is not right..

"No, I just couldn't understand Noah.." I shook my head.

He raised his brow, "What is it that you can't understand?"

I sigh, "A-are you sure..y-you really l-like me?" My lips are shaking, damn it!

I know I might offend him by just asking him like this, but it still bothers me if he already move on from Dana or he's just thinking that he was but certainly not. I wanna know if he's really into me now, I don't wanna think that he's just using me to forget about her but it's just a little bit off.. I think he's just used to be with someone like me and he doesn't really like me..

I'm not saying that I don't want him to move on, but he deserves a break. Time will heal everything and I'm just here waiting for him when he's ready.

He twitch his upper lip and crossed his arms, "Are you questioning my feelings for you woman?"

I hope he's not annoyed or even offended. I bit my lips and look down.

"Eyes up here," He says.

I look up and face his annoyed expression, I knew it.

He lean to get closer to me with those dark eyes and a cold voice. He's really pissed. But I can't do anything about that. I'm also lost for a moment.

"I know when I like someone and I know when I'm not," He clenched his jaw.

"But doesn't it too early for you to like me? Like, I'm still thinking that you still love Dana.." I feel choked for saying that.

I don't know that this isn't something that is easy to handle. God. I'm not ready for this.

"Why are you saying that? Aren't you happy? I've finally move on from her," Now this is harder. I think I'm going to cry now.

"Why are you crying?" He wiped my tears.

"I don't wanna see you cry," And he hugged me very tight. He caress my hair while I'm damn crying.

So stupid of me to cry in front of him. I don't want him to worry, I didn't noticed I'm already crying. Damn it!

"I'm sorry. I was wrong for surprising you. I'm sorry, Raine.." Now he sounds guilty and I hated myself for making him feel that.

I shook my head and embraced him more. I think I might not let go of his arms anymore..

Noah Clark..

"If you still can't believe me, then let me prove myself to you baby. I promised I'll be more aware of your feelings now.." He whispered and I just felt his kiss on my head.

I even cry for that. He didn't know how my heart aches for this. I was tempted to be in his arms but at the same time, I'm scared. I know I was crazy for him and the more I get myself closer to him, the more aggressive I can be. But this is a different case now, he's hurt and I am too..

I can be there for him until he forget about her, but I can't be with him when he's still in love with her. I can't hate him also for making me feel like this, he's my only strength but also my weakness.

I want to believe him that he finally move on from her. But I can't.

I was hesitant and I think it's because he hasn't shown me enough that he's already over her. Noah is a good man. He will understand if I'm still doubting his feelings for me.

I'm also certain when he's finally over her, I'll gladly welcome him with my embrace and give him everything I have.

I swear, when that day comes I'm not going to give him up.

To be continued...