17 SIXTEEN

ZERON

  "I'm alive?" I croak, unable to wrap my head around the reason why I'm still alive. I was really going to die; I'd felt it. But how am I still alive right now?

"Yes, you're alive" Alanna responds as she pours me a cup of water. I stare at her, not failing to notice the stiffness of her body and the tension resting heavily on her.

"I could've sworn that I was dead" I say and she sighs, her teary eyed gaze finally meeting mine.

"Will you just stop it? You're not dead and that's it" she snaps and I stiffen. Something is wrong, I can feel it. "Here, have some water" Alanna says as she hands me the glass of water with shaky hands. That's the confirmation I need. Something is not right and it has to do with both Alanna and my near death experience. So, I gulp down the water and try to sit up, but my body is too weak for that. This only adds to my growing frustration. I should've died, I just can't continue living like this. "Alanna, what did you do?" I ask, keeping my voice monotone. She stiffens but quickly regains her composure. Perhaps, she thought I wouldn't notice such miniature act. "Alanna, what did you do?" I ask for the second time. This time, more tears fill her eyes and she quickly turns away from me. I reach out instantly to hold her hand, preventing her from moving away from me. "I don't know what you're talking about, Z" she responds, her voice shaky. "Then, tell me. What are those tears for?" I ask and she rips her hand out of my hold. "The tears are for you, idiot! I want to hate you so badly right now but I just can't! You were ready to die! You were going to leave me alone! Do you know how much pain I felt when I watched you tremble in pain?! I can't go through that again. I can't loose you! I just can't! So, excuse me if I decide to do something stupid just to keep you alive" With that she storms out of my room, sobbing. I lie in bed, trying to understand what she'd meant by what she has just said. What could she possibly have done? The more I think about it, the more agitated I become and as my agitation increases, the darkness inside me swells. Then the dark thoughts begin to creep in. The shadows in the room thicken and my room becomes darker and I suddenly feel the need to run a blade across my skin. I rise to my feet, suddenly fueled by the darkness within me. Slowly, I make my way towards one of my daggers which is hanging on the wall. With a blank expression, I begin to make deep cuts on my arms, ignoring the dark liquid that's quickly seeping out of my body through the deep cuts I'm inflicting on myself. My mind goes blank and all I do is cut and cut, feeding the darkness with my pain.

.....

ALANNA  

       "I hoped that I would never see tears on your beautiful face any time soon. What's wrong?" Talon says to me as he sits down beside me on a chaise lounge in the tea room. I sigh and slowly begin to wipe my tears. "I heard that my brother is awake. Shouldn't you be with him instead?" He asks.

"I don't know.... I just-"

"How do you feel?" He suddenly asks. "Heartbroken? Scared? Guilty?"

Talon hums low in his throat and looks away from me, his gaze resting on nothing in particular. "It's okay to feel guilty for not telling him the truth, Alanna" he states and my blood runs cold. Does he know? Does he know about my deal with the forest spirit?

Oh, no.

"Of course, I know" he rasps and I swallow hard. "How? Did you read my mind?"

"No. No, I didn't. First of all, I'm an empath. I sensed your emotions all the way from the throne room and when I cast a spell to see what was going wrong, the spirits told me what you did" he says and I clench my fist."Are you mad at me?" I ask and he shakes his head.

"I understand why you did it but Zeron is not going to be pleased when he finds out the truth" My heart begins to pound harder when I notice the way he used 'when' and not 'if'. Zeron is definitely going to find out about this and it might worsen everything. But what could I have done? I was desperate.

"To be honest, what you did is both stupid and brave. The first thing you should understand while dealing with mystical creatures is that you should never trust them enough to make a deal with them. Do you really think that Zeron will forgive himself if he ends up killing you with his own hands? He's most likely going to commit suicide and your deal with the forest spirit would have been in vain" Talon states and tears fill my already swollen eyes.

"What do I do now?" I whimper and he shrugs. "You have to tell him the truth, Alanna. He would know what to do" Talon rises to his feet and walks away while I rise to my feet and take a deep breath. Perhaps, Talon was right after all. I have to tell Zeron the truth and I have to do it now even as scary as it sounds. Squaring my shoulders, I straighten my dress and begin to head towards Zeron's chamber.

....

When I finally get to my destination, I knock on the door. But when I don't get a response, I carefully open the door and walk into the room. The first thing I notice is the coldness of the room. A loud gasp leaves my lips when my gaze finally rests on my husband who is standing by his bedside making deep cuts across his arms with a bloody dagger! For a moment, I stand there, petrified. His eyes are glazed over and he seems to be totally out of it.

"Z?" I say, taking a step closer to him. When he doesn't respond, I take another step closer to him. He still doesn't acknowledge my presence. So, I reach out and yank the dagger out of his hands. He instantly slips into defensive mode and before I can figure out what's happening, he's pressing me to the wall with his hand squeezing my throat until I'm gasping for air, black dots dancing across my vision. "Z--Z" I whisper, tears rolling down my cheeks. I slowly reach out and cup his cold cheek. "It's okay" I rasp and his grip on my throat loosens a bit.

"It's okay.... I'm not mad at you.... I forgive you" I whisper and his eyes widens, his hands falling away from my throat. "Alanna" he breathes but I'm too weak to do anything but fall into his arms limply. Slowly, I drift into unconsciousness. The last thing I see is Zeron's crimson eyes laden with grief and guilt.