1 FADED TO STAY

"Father is back" ...Did someone shout aloud to wake me up? Opening eyes , found everything else around usual but , yes , it's true .. father is back . I belonged to the sect opposed the " early to rise from bed theory "  and that morning I had the rarest of surprises . I could see father  busy in his daily chores as if nothing had happened. He was there inside the Pooja room praying , as he always did , just after having his morning bath . Did he see me ? I'm not sure . I felt my heart beats loud and out . He came out to see me gazing at him in the most unknown and strange manner , which he never would have been expected. He walked past me and I just watched , watched and fed all my senses I am normal . 

I was trying hard to believe the unbelievable. The strange normalcy around me was the hardest shell to crack . Mom was busy in the kitchen. None asked anything to Father and myself too dared not . The chair in the sitout seemed waiting for him with the newspaper ready to be read. I felt my very presence there enigmatic . He came out changing the clothes and I had the best possible glance of him face to face. Does he look bit tired ? I wanted to ask him where he had been all these days . I wanted to plead him not to go out like this any further . I wanted to make him feel at home . Is he crying ? His large spectacles hid his tears but I found one rolling down his cheeks . No , It can't be like that. I haven't ever found him woeful in tears. I sat close at hand to him . But both remain silent , the scary silence at times is full of answers . 

Father went everywhere around our home and I followed him tight-lipped. I felt him unmindful and withdrawn. He never asked me about anything . The changes , adjustments , additions or deletions didn't seem to bother him . But he watched , watched everything  without even a sheer headshake or smile. When we walked out through the street together , many smiled at us and I wanted to scream "Father is back". But I couldn't and father too expected my silence as it seemed. I felt as if I gained more strength and courage being with him . He always walked fast. I have to learn , adjust my steps.

Later the day , I found father searching something in the cupboards . He didn't ask me to help him , but I badly wanted to. He was all calm and cool and his very presence lightened up the home and my spirits. Now , I was enjoying the moment and growing all the way up in confidence . "Yes , Father is back."  

As a child , I was all the most concerned , when father went out to meet his friends every evening . I still remember the scary thunderous nights waiting for him, gluing my eyes on the time dial and then skipping to  extreme happiness seeing him back with a smile. Thus , I wanted to say him , now ,  I won't let you go for those usual outings. I was all afraid to let him go .I wanted to let him know, his presence counts. But that too I couldn't. 

Leave it , " Father is back."

Father, then never went out. He stayed , seen but unheard . Found him seated in his front yard chair smiling. I now know father will not go out and away . Not even to his evening meetings with friends. How can our dear most leave us ? They stay . Stay to make us strong and happy.

"Father is back", ?  No I am wrong. Father never left anywhere to be back . Father is here. Here everywhere ...

( Most beloved father left our family 22 years back but the warmth of his love and care stay. Our dear ones always stay with us . Father's homecoming is one of the most repeated and loved dream I used to have as a young boy then youth and now adult .Time just flies off but sweet memories are there to stay 💗 )